Painful - A Jacksepticeye x Depressed Reader FanFiction

Chapter 22 - Vidcon

Kevin and I talked a lot about content creation and he told me about Vidcon, what to expect, etc. It was nice talking to someone who has the same interests as you. "My friends don't really get it. They all just watch YouTube but are not really into making videos. Sometimes it's complicated to explain things. With you I don't have that problem." "I get it. My friends never have any idea what I'm talking about."

An hour later we arrived at the airport. „I'll call Sean and ask him where he is." "Hey, have you two arrived at the airport yet?", he asked me. "Yeah, we're here...Why didn't you tell me it was Kevin?" "I didn't know you knew him." "You've seen me watch his videos and you've seen my tweets to him." "Yeah...I wanted it to be a surprise." I sighed. "I know about RT being the other friend." "Yeah, I thought so..." "So, how long does it take you to get to the airport?" "10 minutes." "We'll wait at McDonalds. Do you want something as well?" "I'll take the usual. Dan, do you want something?", heard him asking. "A Big-Mac and some large fries please", I heard his voice and got nervous. I was a huge fan of his content. "Okay", I said. "We'll meet you two there", Sean said before hanging up.

Kevin and I went to McDonalds and ordered everything. "Get a table, I'll grab our order when it's ready", he offered me. "Thanks." A few minutes later Sean and Daniel walked in. They walked over to Kevin who had just picked up our food and the three walked over to me. "Hey", Sean said while hugging me. "I missed you." "Missed you too." He sat down next to me. "I'm Daniel", RTGame greeted me. "I'm (y/n)." "I've seen some of your videos and streams. It's a bummer you had to take a step back for uni." "Yeah, but it is how it is. I don't really want to do it as a fulltime job." "You study informatics?" I nodded.

After our initial conversation I stayed quiet for a while. I was a bit overwhelmed by the situation. That's why I headed for the bathroom. I splashed water into my face and took some deep breaths. "You got this. They both seem to like you. You have nothing to worry about", I told myself. After a few minutes I left. Someone was standing next to the bathroom entrance. It was Sean. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, why shouldn't I be?" He gave me a look that told me he knew what was going on. "I'm fine. You know how I feel about new people. It takes some time to get used to them but I'm fine." "I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up. I wanted to but I forgot I agreed to pick up Dan and then it was already too late to change plans and..." "We've talked about this. It's okay. I'm not mad. "

Us four went to our gate. "Flight got delayed." "Wonderful." We sat down in the waiting area. "I have my Switch ready. Are you in for some Mario Party?", I asked. "Sure. I have 2 spare joycons", Daniel said.

The plane took off an hour later. I grabbed my Ipad and studied for the test. "Hey sleepyhead. Time to wake up", Sean waked me up gently. I must have fallen asleep. "That didn't go according to plan." "You've plenty of time to learn once we're in the hotel." I sighed. "Yeah...I won't get around it if I don't want to fail the test." "You missed a great movie", Kevin said. "You missed a great opportunity to get some sleep", I said back. "She is right", Sean said. "I get enough sleep." "Your eyes tell a different story", Daniel said.

At the hotel I forced myself to be productive and get some studying done. In the meantime, Sean went outside with Kevin and Dan to get some supplies. They also used their trip to vlog. An hour later he returned to the hotel-room. "How long do we have before we need to get ready?" Sean looked at the time. "An hour."

We got ready and headed out to the location. We met Kevin and Daniel there. As soon as I saw the massive crowd outside of the building, I got panic. "Don't worry. We don't have to get in line there. We can use the backstage entrance. There are not as many people", Sean said. He knew I was overwhelmed. "Have you been to Vidcon before?", Daniel asked me. I shook my head. "I've only visited smaller conventions before. This is my first big one." "Don't worry. We'll look out for you", Kevin assured me. We headed for the backstage entrance and showed our cards. We got special VIP bracelets and passes, got a security briefing and then we were ready to go.

Immediately people recognised us and so we began shaking hands, signing and taking pictures. After an hour Sean had to go backstage to prepare for his show. We hugged as a goodbye. "You'll do amazing. I can't wait to see the show", I said. "Thanks. I'll look for you in the audience." "She has bad orientation. Please keep an eye on her", he told Kevin and Dan.

"We should go to the main stage", I said and so we tried our best to make our way there. We had to stop a lot for autographs and pictures but eventually we made it in time. Sean was about to go on stage. I was nervous. People saw us hugging so I was not sure if they made photos of it. Sean and I kept the relationship offline. Officially we're just friends. But I was pretty sure people would start rumours after today. "If anyone asks", I said to Kevin and Dan, "you don't know if Sean and I are dating." "Okay", both agreed.

"Are you okay?" Daniel asked after I stayed silent for a few minutes just looking right at the stage. "Yeah", I said pulling myself back into reality. "I was just lost in my thoughts." "Happens to me all the time. Just wanted to check if everything's okay." "It is." Silence. I looked at my phone. 10 more minutes til the show would start. "I'll go to the bathroom real quick", I excused myself. I needed some space to breath. I didn't want the two to worry about what was going with me. I was not sure what Sean told them about me. "Maybe he told them about my addiction and my struggles and now they think they need to baby me", I thought but immediately scraped that thought. "He wouldn't do that." If they knew about my mental state, they might have seen it in the countless videos of me where people make it a topic. "I would want to make sure I was okay too if I were them..."

It took me a while to reach the nearest bathroom. I sat down and took some deep breaths. "I'm not sure if I can go on like this any longer...I know Sean is right. I know I can't do it on my own. I really should seek professional help if I want to truly happy in the future", I confessed to myself. I took out my phone. 5 minutes until the show. I googled the name of a therapist in Athlone. I wrote an e-mail quickly summarizing my situation and asking them if they could give me a call on Monday. It took me a few minutes to overcome my fear until I felt ready to send it. My hands were shaking while hovering over to the button and pressing it. "I did it", I said in relieve. I looked at the time. Seans show had already started. "He is going to be disappointed I didn't catch the beginning...", I thought. I got up and made my way back there. "But I'm sure he will understand once I tell him the news and..."

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud bang that was coming from the main hall.