Chemistry in History

Guilt-free

I woke up the next morning with a queasy feeling as yesterday night's memories came flooding in my brain.

I grabbed my bottle of water and chugged down half of it, my nerves swirling around. I could hear Jessy in the shower, and checked the time. It was pretty late, but the buffet breakfast would still be out so not that late.

I didn't really have an appetite, and having to sit with Lily and Carly at breakfast was already making me throw up a little. I know I have to tell them, but telling Carly would be telling her I went behind her back knowing she likes him and then getting her man.

Suddenly my phone rang, and I reached for the side table to check my notifications. It was Ryan.

Ryan: Morning gorgeous

As soon as I read his text my cheeks burned red, I smiled to myself before texting him back.

Bella: Good morning. Will this b a daily thing?

I teased him, laughing out loud. I'd always seen on social media and movies guys messaging their girlfriends in the morning, and I'm not going to lie, I'd wished someone would text me.

Ryan: Until we're old and r playing with our grandkids ;)

That moment my heart exploded from my chest, I shut my phone and cupped my face as a humongous smile plastered on my face.

"Woah, someone had a great night." Jessy said teasingly.

I turned to look at her with an expression which I hoped looked like I was irritated.

"Wild guess, but was that Ryan?" She asked motioning towards my phone. She unwrapped her hair from the towel and waited for my response.

I ignored her, because if I started I wouldn't be able to stop talking about him, and I couldn't. Not yet. I needed to explain to Carly, then maybe one day I could squeal like and idiot and rant about Ryan to my friends.

I got up and cleared my throat, as well as putting on a straight face "We're going to be late for breakfast." I simply said before I strutted out the door and waited for her near the lift.

*****

At the breakfast table, I did anything I could to not make eye contact with Carly. We sat around a round table like usual and Lily and Ally were making the conversation going as I chewed on my croissant.

I was debating on telling Carly and Lily together, or maybe telling Carly first as it's more affecting her then Lily. At some point I was just thinking of blurting it out plain, because I was getting so sick and tired of overthinking this.

Jessy kept giving me meaningful glances and I knew she wanted this awkward phase to be over as well. So I took a deep breath and waited for a gap for me to start speaking.

"Like I get why you don't seem to like straightening your hair, but I think you should give it a try." Ally suggested to Carly.

"I'll think about it." Carly said rolling her eyes.

Just then, the conversation stopped and I blurted it out without a second thought.

"Ryan and I are together." 

At first no one really seemed to have a reaction, but then I could see as Carly processed what I said and her eyes widened.

"Jeez Bella, head first in to the pool." Jessy mumbled.

"You and Ryan are dating?" Carly asked.

I took a second to collect my thoughts and then turned to Carly. "Not really, but we've sort of have started becoming closer during the last phew weeks." I said, no one said anything and I nervously chewed on my lip.