The Line Between Love And Hate

Chapter 18: Never Anything Between Us

~Marinette~
"You guys haven't talked in days M. Don't you think it's time to tell him?" "He has a girlfriend Al." "Screw his girlfriend! You're the one he's in love with!" "Will you stop it with that! He doesn't love me Alya. Not in the way I love him."

"He deserves to know." "And he will." "When?" "I- I just need time." "You leave in 3 days Marinette. That's all the time I'm giving you." Alya walks out of my dorm leaving me to pack my things alone.

Present day
~Marinette~
"So what have you been up to over the years?" "You know. Cases, designing, more cases." "Why'd you leave?" "Okay we're just jumping right into it?" "I just don't get it Mari. You left without even telling me. Do you understand how shitty that made me feel?"

"I know I didn't leave in the best of ways, but I had to do it that way Adrien." "Why?" "It's a long story." "We have 19 minutes left." "It's a story I'm not ready to tell you." "Don't you think I deserve an explanation." "And I gave you one." "No you didn't."

"Yes I did. I wrote you a letter." "I never got-" "Look we're supposed to be catching up on what we've missed. You never said anything about talking about our past." I stop walking. He takes 2 steps before realizing I've stopped. He turns around to face me.

"And I'm trying to catch up on what I missed when you left." "Adrien-" "I just want answers Mari." "And I'm not ready to give you them." "So you're gonna make me question everything between us?" "See that's where you have it confused. There was never anything between us."

"Can you really look me in the eyes and tell me you felt nothing for me?" He takes a step closer. "I can." Another one. "You're lying." Another one. "I'm not." Our bodies are now touching. He raises his hand and cups my cheek. It takes every bone in my body to fight the urge to lean into his touch.

"So you're going to stand here and tell me that everything I felt for you was completely one sided? That it was all in my head?" I take a deep breath and nod.

The light from the moon is hitting his face in the perfect position. His bright green eyes are shining down on mine. It's taking everything inside me to not pull him into me.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't feel it too Mari. Tell me you didn't feel the way I felt for you." "I- I didn't feel the same way." He rests his head on mine.

"Adrien-" "And what about now?" "Wh- what?" He slides his hand down to my chin and tilts it so I'm now looking up at him. "You feel nothing?" "I- I don't know what to say." "I'm going to kiss you right now and... if you don't want this to happen, I'm going to need you to stop me. Say the words and I'll stop. If you don't say anything I'll take it as a yes."

This is it. Everything I dreamed of since I met him is finally happening.

But I'm not the girl I was when I was in love with him. It took me so long to get to where I am today. I'm not going to go back. I won't let a few days with Adrien take me back to who I was. I won't let myself get hurt again.

He starts leaning in and I feel myself doing the same. Right before our lips meet I raise my hands to his chest. I gently hold my hands there and he stops moving.

"I- I think the 20 minutes are up." He leans back and scratches the back of his neck. "I should really head home." "Let me call gorilla. He can give you a ride." "It's okay. I think a walk will be good for me right now." "Mari it's late." "Adrien I need some time to myself."

"Look I'm sorry about what just happened-" "Nothing happened." "Or what was about to happen." "Nothing was about to happen." "Whatever that was- I'm sorry, but I'm not letting you walk this late."

"Letting me? I'm sorry I missed the part where I asked for your permission." "Mari it's not safe to walk." "I can take care of myself." "Like you were able to take care of yourself in the club?" "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. How do you expect me to believe you can take care of yourself when you weren't even able to take care of yourself from some drunk?" "I had that under control." "Did you though? Who knows what would've happened if I didn't step in."

"I am not some damsel in distress Agreste. I didn't need you to save me then and I sure as hell don't need your protection now." "Well that's too bad because you got it." "Oh my god you are so annoying!" I start walking past him and he grabs my arm.

"Adrien let me go." "I'm not letting you walk." "I said let me go." In a quick motion I have his arm behind his back. "Mari-" "Admit that I can protect myself!" In another quick motion he pins my arms behind my back and pulls me into him. "Admit that you can't."
I wiggle out of his embrace. "Get off of me!" "Mari-"

"Look I know you may have been forced into my life temporarily, but I didn't ask for this let alone want it. So the next time you think about looking at me, talking to me, touching me, or whatever else it is that you do, don't! The only time I want to associate with you is when we work."

"Okay I understand. I may have been out of line right now-" "May have? You were completely out of line. We're coworkers Adrien! Nothing more. We're not friends we're not anything! When will you get that through your thick skull!" I shout.

"When will you get it through yours that I don't want that! I don't want to be just coworkers!" "Adrien-" "I don't want us to forget about each other once this case is closed. I don't want you to walk away from us again."

"There isn't an us Adrien!" "I miss you Mari." "Stop. Don't go there. I'm happy with the life I have right now." "I want to be part of that life. I want us to be friends again. Don't you?"

I feel something pull on my heart. There's a heavy weight dragging it down. A big part of me misses the way things were with us, but that's the old part. I don't know if the new me has any room for Adrien Agreste in her life.

"I- I don't know what I want."

A car pulls up beside us and Adrien nods his head as he opens the door. I look at Alya and then back at Adrien.

"I texted her while we were fighting." "We weren't fighting." "The bruise I'm gonna get on my arm says otherwise." "Told you I can take care of myself." He gives me a fake smile and motions for me to get inside.

"If you're waiting for a thank you you're not gonna get one." I say as I sit in the passenger seat. "I kinda figured." He shuts the door and looks at me through the lowered window. He gives me a soft smile before pulling away from the car.