In Aid

17. Open Up

The last exam was the easiest one, and just to make sure I was truly exempt from the others, I went to check with my teachers again. Thankfully, they were all at school because I truly hated sending emails. I doubted they even checked them daily like I was sure they were supposed to. It would explain all the emails that never got replied to until days later. Late responses were annoying, especially when the reply was no longer useful.

"You missed lunch," Aubyn said when I entered the car after my exam. "Should we get you something to eat on the way home? Or do you want to go get your things from your father's house right now to get that out of the way?"

"I'm not ready to go back to my father's place. I need to mentally prepare myself to run into him. He'll only ask me a bunch of stupid ass questions. As for food, I'm not hungry."

"Alright then. How do you think you did on your exam?" he asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

"It was the easiest one. I actually liked the class, so I didn't have to study. I remembered pretty much everything that was taught."

"That's good. What do you want for dinner?"

"For you to stop avoiding the conversation you know we should be having," I answered. "I told you something before I left for my exam. Are you not attracted to me anymore because I disappointed you yesterday?"

Aubyn sighed. "That is not how my attraction to you works. You were actually very attractive when you said that you want me to see you as more than what you appear to be. Your interest in becoming a better person is attractive. But you stormed out of the office today, and I cannot tell what you are thinking. I thought the plan Sang and I thought through for you was fine, but your reaction suggests you do not like it. I am more preoccupied with how I can come up with a plan that will suit you better."

I really needed to figure out how to communicate better. I wasn't used to having decent, healthy conversations, but I already knew that I'd have to get used to things I wasn't used to while living with Aubyn. Assuming shit and storming out of a room when something upset me were habits I had to leave behind.

"Everything about the plan is fine and I really am grateful that you guys did all that for me. Thank you. I just didn't realize I had such a short time left with you. That's all."

"And you want to spend that time in a relationship with me? That does not make much sense."

I could feel him glancing at me now and then, so I looked out the window instead because my face was starting to heat up. "It makes sense to me. Dr Stanley thinks I'm a sex addict anyways. Without Jeff, I'm going to need someone else to fulfil my needs. If you don't want to be that person, then I'm going to have to find someone else."

"Oh, I see. So, you do not want me in particular. You just want anyone that can fulfil your sexual needs."

"No!" Fuck, why did I say that? "I want you. I mean I don't want to have to do it the way I usually do it by hanging around bars and clubs and sitting on the street until I get my fix. Wouldn't it be better if I did it with you?"

"Why do you think so?"

"No risk of being kidnapped."

"Is that all?" he asked, on the verge of laughter.

"I have certain tastes in bed," I admitted. "But I haven't met anyone willing to treat me the way I want to be treated in bed."

"And you think I may do so?"

"I think you would definitely do so, Mr Gessel."

"And I think the next time you call me that without permission, I am going to make you kneel and face the wall in the living room for half an hour."