In Aid

25. Mental Wounds

Dr Stanley and Sang both turned away as I undressed, but even when I was fully undressed with my clothes folded on the chair, I felt too nervous to tell them I was done. I was thankful that Sang hadn't left yet, but it was only because he didn't understand what was going on just yet. Taking a deep breath, I lay back on the bed with my knees bent.

"I'm done undressing."

Dr Stanley came over but Sang returned to his seat by the desk across the room. From where he sat, he couldn't see, but he was near the door and that made me nervous. The doctor gently tapped my knee, a clear sign I needed to straighten my legs.

"Is it okay if he touches you?" Sang asked.

"Yes."

"Has there been any irritation surrounding your pubic area?"

"No," I responded, moving my hands to cover my eyes when the doctor moved to put his gloves on. I jerked when he first touched me down there. "Sorry. Continue," I said when I peeked and realized he had paused.

"You do not have any warts, ulcers, or any indication of any infections," Sang continued to translate. "You identify as homosexual, correct?"

"Yeah." I watched Dr Stanley through my fingers. He must have seen my abnormality already but he must have the best poker face on the planet.

"And you are sexually active? Or are you taking any medication to protect against sexually transmitted infections and diseases?"

"Not currently, and no."

"When you are sexually active, how do you have sex?"

"Anally on the receiving end."

"Not your- what?" Sang suddenly looked even more confused as he exchanged quick words with Dr Stanley in their own language. "Have you ever engaged in vaginal sex on the receiving end?"

"Yes. Unwillingly," I answered, going right back to covering my eyes. He was going to leave. If not now, he'd kick me out of the car later.

Dr Stanley closed his eyes for a moment, the muscles in his jaw tensing. It took a little while before he relaxed and proceeded with the examination. He looked almost as pissed as Sang was when I told him earlier. He exchanged a quick word with Sang that wasn't translated so I could understand.

"I am sorry," Dr Stanley said in heavily accented English.

"Thanks," I mumbled, not quite sure if that was the right thing to say.

"Have you ever had a vaginal examination?" Sang asked, continuing to translate.

"Once. Everything was fine down there," I replied.

"You said the last time that you did an ultrasound, right?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me about that?"

I dug my nails into my arm. "I have the reproductive system of a female."

"And as a male?"

"Yes, the same."

"Everything looks fine. Zedikai, he's going to go get a few things and come back. Just stay there, alright?"

I turned my head to look at Sang just as Dr Stanley left the room to make sure he was really still there. "You haven't left yet," I noted aloud, bringing my knees back up.

"Unless you ask me to, I see no reason to leave," Sang said. "Your big medical secret is that you are genetically male and female?"

"I'm neither."