In Aid

31. Warming Up

The first few days with Coen, while my ass was healing from Aubyn's punishment, were hard. At least for me, they were. I wanted to try to get Coen to like me because I wanted to make things up to Aubyn. He had said he wanted Coen and me to get along and I didn't mind children, so naturally, I wanted to get along with him. But this child made it so hard to do so.

Aubyn stayed home from work, doing a little computer work every now and then in the office when needed, to stay with Coen. He wanted to make sure Coen got used to the new surroundings and sleep schedule, and even took him out for short walks to the convenience store and drives to the river.

Coen was either glued to his father's arms, playing games with Milan, or doing school work assisted by his father. He would glance at me every now and then but wouldn't speak to me. The only time I got his attention was when Milan and I were filling in the empty spaces on my cast with markers and he came over to us with curious eyes wanting to draw on my cast too.

Sang reminded me that Coen needed to get used to me too. I was a new face, a new person, and a human to boot. It wasn't going to be easy for such a shy little boy to warm up to me.

"Can we talk for a sec?" Sang asked me while I was watching Milan check Coen's school work.

I got up and joined him on the balcony. "What's up?"

"I know you want to put this behind you, but I looked into filing sexual assault charges. I wanted to know if you could still charge those men for what they did to you."

The nightmares were just starting to fade again. I didn't want to bring it back up. "I don't want to talk about this. Can I just move on? Please."

"Zedikai..."

"I don't want to go through that." I'd only make myself a target if I tried sending Phillip to prison anyway. "It's not like I can even get proof of what they did to me and they'd rather burn in hell than admit it. It's been too long anyway."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not stupid. I did my research too after it happened. I knew how long I had to report it and my time expired. January made four years since it happened and that's all the time I had. The law shortening the statute of limitations for those over sixteen only serves to benefit the guilty party. If I had been a few months younger, then it wouldn't apply, but I was already seventeen when it happened. Not to mention there's no proof."

I leaned against the railing. "Even if I manage to make it to court, I don't want to have to relive that night over and over and over again through testimony. The nightmares will eventually go away and I can pretend that night never happened."

"Are you sure you don't want to try?" Sang asked.

"Them getting what they deserve would make me feel a little better, but the only way they'll pay for what they did is by taking the issue outside the law and I'm only one person. I don't have the power or the influence. So, I don't want to torment myself anymore. I just want to move on."

Sang placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "If you ever change your mind..."

"I won't."

"But if you ever do..."

I nodded and let myself be pulled into a side hug. Sang had been such a hardass when we first met. I never thought I'd feel this close to him. I was grateful he'd been looking out for me.

On Aubyn's last day home, he took me to the hospital to get my cast off. My arm was slightly less tan than the rest of my body and I felt unbalanced and lopsided. The weight I had gotten used to was gone. The doctor recommended a few exercises for me to do. For what reason? I couldn't remember. I had stopped listening halfway through. Aubyn would take care of all the important things anyway.