Emmi [ COMPLETED ]

The light

**** EMMIS POV****

All the comments said "She is just faking so she can get views to help her dad. DUH!"

Others said "Emmi, its okay you will get through it!" I like the positive comments. I went to the three dots at the bottom of the video. I clicked it. I hit the "delete" button. I felt terrible. Maybe it was bad for dad. He totally overreacted. I went back to the table, to see my dad in tears

"I deleted the dang video, Im sorry that i wanted to share my story. And tell people they are not alone. Im sorry. I just felt- never mind. Im going to take a walk." I said. My mom wasn't crying my siblings were confused. My dad was in tears. I started to cry. I ran got my shoes on and Zeke went with me. I was just running up the trail me and dad would go to see the sunset. I got up there and i was crying so hard my head started to hurt. I was petting Zeke and looking at the sunset. I started pacing back and forth. "I'm just a screwup! I wish I was never born! Everything I do is stupid!! I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH!" I screamed. I threw up. I played next to Zeke and put my head on his body. I fell asleep.

***2 hours later***

  I woke up and Zeke was still with me. I hugged him, I wiped my eyes. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to go somewhere, just not home. Grandma and Grandpa don't live to far. Neither does Carlie. I just decided to walk to Grandmoms she is closer. I brought Zeke to because I didn't want to leave him. I walked the streets I was really scared. I started to cry and I felt terrible. I couldn't go home I made to many mistakes, they all hate me.

*knock knock*

"Hello, Emmi? What are you doing her it's like 9 at night." Grandma let me in and sat me on the couch. Zeke just layed down.

"Emmi, why are you here? Did you walk here by yourself? Why does it look like your crying?" She asked me a bunch of questions. I started crying, I lifted up my shirt and showed her all my cuts. I spilled out everything. She just started crying

"I'm so sorry. I still have to call you parents because they are probably worried." I just nodded and layed on there couch, "Hello Colette, I would like to tell you that I have Emmi, she walked here from home." She hung up the phone "your mom is on her way." Grandma hugged me and I felt good.

"Emmi, I'm here." Mom said. I got up and got Zeke. We got in the car and it was awkward ride home.

"Mom, in really sorry. I'm such a screw up." I said crying. "Emmi butler! You are not a screw up! Your just going through hard times that's it. I love you and always will."  Mom said. When we got home I went straight to my room. I haven't had my medicine because im too crazy. I tried to go to sleep but the thought of everyone hating me, suicide,cutting,starving myself was all going to my head.

   I walked out of my room and went to the bathroom. I got my razors and cut all up and down my arm. They were long and the felt good. I put the razors away. I did my normal routine cut then throw up. I was losing weight and fast. I really wanted to get help. I just can't bring myself out of the dumps. It had been 1 week since I started throwing up. No one knows because they will kill me. Dad has stopped vlogging every day. If they are lucky they will get 4 vlogs. I decided to cut more because why not? They already knew. I was cutting my thighs now, I cut so often the pain just melted away. It felt good. I started to get really dizzy, my head started hurting. Before I knew it I started to see a white light. "Emmi, its your choice. Life or death?" I heard something say.

***GAVIN POV***

   "Emmi, I know you in there I need to use the restroom, please come out." I waited there for 5 minutes until I was about to burst. I opened the door. I see Emmi with a blade in her hand. She looks unconscious with blood all over her. "Emmi!! Wake up!" I say shaking her. I run into mom and dad's room not trying to wake anyone up. I jump on them and scream "EMMI IS-EMMI IS ALL -I THINK EMMI TRIED TO KILL HERSELF AGAIN!!!" I say they jump up and run they don't even say anything. Emmi is breathing so I'm not freaking out but I'm still really scared I might lose my younger sister.