I'll break you (Dottore X Fem Reader)

~ 12 ~

I don't know how long I was floating in the darkness. It felt as if I was slowly slipping away and my mind was fading. Some time later, the black walls that contained me stirred with colour.

It was a small change at first until I felt my eyes were able to open and I felt the air rush into my lungs with ease. I thought floating in that abyss was good and that it was calm and painless but the moment the oxygen had intruded my body, I felt how suffocating it was in that place in my head.

My eyelids were heavy and opened ever so slightly, allowing natural light to fill my vision. I was staring up at the ceiling of an unfamiliar room and my brain was so empty I thought I was actually dead. A sound tugged me back into reality. The shuffling of feet ahead of me had me lifting my head till I could attach a name to the sound.

He was walking back and forth, running a hand through his blue locks and his eyes were bloodshot and tired. The poor man looked distraught with worry and once I was able to get my thoughts going, his name popped into my head.

Dottore. The person I was happiest to see alive and kicking. But of course he would be alive, why wouldn't he be? What was I forgetting?

My eyes curiously gazed around to see I was in a completely new room. It was obviously someone's bedroom but not mine. This one was large and furnished and fit for only the most important people. So, Dottore's room huh? Which means... I was currently laying in his bed.

My eyes flitted down to see I was out of the dress and wearing a crisp white shirt much too big for me. I felt a bandage was wrapped around my stomach and the skin there felt sensitive to everything. I inhaled much too quickly causing a sharp stab at my stomach.

I winced. The pain slowly had the memories rushing in like a bountiful waterfall.

I nearly died. A shadowy creature I couldn't identify had stabbed me during the ball and now I was here. Alive. Probably thanks to Dottore.

"Hi," I said simply.

It seems I'd scared the poor man out of his skin as he jumped at the sound of my voice. Dottore turned to me ever so slowly before rushing to my side with worry creasing his eyes. His hair was a mess from running his hand through it so much but he still looked as beautiful as ever. Despite my condition, I couldn't stop my eyes from trailing down to the unbuttoned shirt and joggers he wore. Oh my. How scandalous.

I tried to sit up, grimacing a little at the rustiness I felt in my limbs. Dottore helped me up and placed a cushion behind my back as I waited for him to say something.

"You absolute imbecile!" He yelled at me but his eyes showed no sign of anger.

I don't know what else I was expecting to be perfectly honest. He wasn't one to say hello or how are you.

"Yes, I missed you too darling," I replied with a sad smile.

Dottore exhaled and ran a hand over his face before his expression twisted into pain and hurt.

"Why would you do something like that?" He whispered with a heart wrenching sharp edge to his voice. Dottore was truly terrified.  "I would've protected you. Why did you throw yourself into the battle like that?! You were losing so much blood and your heart stopped at one point and I didn't know what to fucking do Y/N! This is all my fault. I haven't been able to stand still and I was so fucking scared you wouldn't wake up-"

After all the physical pain I endured, it was now the hurt in my heart at hearing his strained voice that dominated. I'd never seen him like this and his hands were shaking anxiously. My throat tightened at the sight of him.

I had no idea he really felt this way about me. It was clear that he wasn't prepared for me to die but I couldn't wrap my head around it. To be honest, I thought he disliked me or just tolerated me. Of course after our little dance, I was starting to question this but from the state he was in, he actually... Cared about me. I felt like more than just an assistant to him now.