𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙎 𝙒𝙀 𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙀 ᵉᵈᵈⁱᵉ ᵐᵘⁿˢᵒⁿ

☼ 19

; F E E L I N G S
flying :)) by TOM ODELL

"Couldn't we have taken a road? Or just, like, something slightly less creepy?", Nancy complained, anxiously pointing her flashlight in different directions.
     "I think we're getting close. We're almost out of here. Don't worry", Nancy mumbled in response, but Robin didn't look very pleased.

Meanwhile Matilda had taken her arm off of Eddie's shoulder and simply interlocked her arms, since the extra weight had seemed to throw him off balance. He'd protested, but Matilda had persisted.
     "How the hell are you so calm?", he asked when he saw her smiling slightly, to which she frowned.
     "Calm? I'm literally terrified. I feel like my feet are shaking."
     "Yeah, you know, that could be the blood loss."
     "Very reassuring, thank you." Eddie smiled awkwardly and tightened the grip her had on her arm.

     "Well, at least you have something to convince everyone of your innocence when we get out of here", Eddie jokingly said. Matilda shook her head.
     "If we get out of here, I'm not throwing you under the bus. You should know that by now." He didn't look convinced. In a way, it hurt Matilda to know that he still didn't fully trust her. That he still believed she'd choose her old life over this. Over him. 

     While the thought was delusional, she couldn't help but prefer where she was now to where she'd been a couple months ago. Of course she knew which situation was the safest, the most normal. But in the end, she wasn't feeling any more miserable right now than she'd been feeling for most of her life. And right now, she had people around herself whose stories she wanted to hear, whose opinion she valued and who she knew didn't judge her. 

     "You know, in a weird way you all feel more like family than my parents ever have", she mumbled with a sad smile, knowing how crazy she sounded. Eddie's brows were slightly elevated, but he didn't seem completely opposed.

     "I'm sure your parents are worried about you." Matilda immediately shook her head. Everyone she'd opened up to about this part of her life had said the same thing. Even Alex. She knew it was in her best interest, but she just couldn't convince herself of the claim. Your parents love you. Your parents want the best for you. Bull. Shit.

     "No, no. They aren't. About my reputation, maybe, but they've never showed interest in my personal matters beyond that." Eddie sighed. She knew he wanted to say the right thing. Only problem was that not even she knew what that thing was. Regarding her parents, nothing felt right.

     "Well, uh, when we're back out there, you could move in with my uncle and me", he suddenly suggested, causing Matilda's eyes to widen. "You know, uh, just so you aren't alone all the time. He mostly sleeps on the couch anyway, you could have his room. Then you'd save money and, uh, we wouldn't lose contact", he mumbled on, trying to hide his flushed cheeks. Matilda couldn't hide a thankful smile. While she didn't think she'd actually take him up on this proposition, she did see how nice it was that he actually offered.

     "I think your uncle wouldn't be pleased with someone that isn't part of the family living in his home, eating his food", she jokingly said. Eddie just shrugged.

     "My uncle, uh, he has very distinct believes about what family is. Especially with me. Back when I was a kid and, uh, when I'd cry or something because I missed my parents, he'd tell me that family isn't necessarily someone you're born with, but more often someone you'd die for. It's weird, but it helped me see him more as a parent-figure, I— I don't know. Maybe that was a stupid idea." Matilda smiled as he rambled on. Something about his awkwardness felt calming to her. And maybe that was simply because she was seeking comfort, but maybe it was because ever since that night in the trailer park, he'd stuck with her and she'd stuck with him.

     That night had created a weird bond that Matilda wasn't ready to explain yet.

     "You think your uncle would die for me?" He smiled slightly, as if he'd known that sarcastic question was coming. Then he turned to Matilda and their eyes interlocked. He looked sincere, almost serious, but the warm smile lifted the tension.

     "No. But I might." Matilda's heart skipped a beat and she had to pull herself together so she wouldn't trip over her own feet.
     Before she could answer, Robin let herself fall a little behind and intruded their conversation.

     "My turn, Eddie", she announced as she pushed his arm away and put Matilda's around her shoulder. "I think Steve wants to talk to you." Eddie turned to the brunette a couple feet behind them and rolled his eyes before nodding slightly. Then he stopped and waited for Steve to catch up.

     Robin pulled Matilda forward, almost dislocating her shoulder.
     "Ouch, Robin, jeez", Matilda murmured and interlocked their arms instead. That way she wouldn't risk Robin breaking anything.
     "Sorry, sorry, I'm just— I need to distract myself. Let's just talk about... I don't know, you got a gi—", she started but broke off in a cough. Matilda waited for her to be done instead of interrupting her. "You got a boyfriend? That's what I wanted to ask." Matilda smiled and shook her head.

     "No."

     "Oh. So, uh", Robin leaned forward, "is there something going on between you and Munson?" Matilda almost choked on her own breath.

     "Wh— What? How, I mean, why... What?" Robin chuckled and started walking normally again. 
     "I mean, you two seem very close. So, who knows what happened during your time at Rick's?"
     "Nothing. Nothing happened. I'm not— We are not—"

     "It's fine, I get it. Nothing is confirmed yet. You are just two lovebirds floating in the realm of 'does he...?' and 'does she...?'. That's cool. I'm just saying... Eddie has gotten severely more smiley. Like, from what Dustin told us. Not that he never smiled, but it always had that, I don't know... That sort of... daring taste to it. Dustin said he always feels like Eddie is trying to provoke him, no matter what he's saying. And now... Jesus, I don't know. His smiles just look nothing like what Dustin described, so..."

     "I guess witnessing a murder and then being blamed for it can change ones personality", Matilda mumbled, but Robin just scoffed.
     "Well, yeah, but it doesn't cause people to look at each other like they're the last bit of fresh air left in the entire universe."

     "Okay, that's a bit much", Matilda stated and Robin rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I do like him. But not— I mean, I don't know. I've never ran away with someone before. I don't know how to label... us. But, you know, if I had to, I think I'd just go with 'friends'." Robin pouted, but Matilda just shrugged awkwardly. She turned to Eddie who was currently talking to Steve and then let her eyes wander to the ground. She did indeed have no idea how to label her feelings, but she sure wouldn't go with the word friendship to describe them. Robin didn't have to know that, though.