The Heart That's Meant to Love You

Chapter 39: Decisive

The end of a paintbrush stabbed Naomi's thigh, not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to garner her attention. Naomi swatted away the offending art tool and chose instead to glare at its owner.

Claire grinned like she won the lottery. "Grumpy today, aren't we?"

"You seem happy about my bad mood." Naomi straightened her beige skirt around her knees.

Truth be told, Naomi hadn't been in a good mood since... well, a long time ago. Unless you counted the times she ate late-night snacks with Kieran. Those moments, where she didn't have to worry about presentation or what others thought of her, meant the most to her. Kieran flirted, hardcore, but he had never crossed the line with her.

Not that Naomi had any idea what the line entailed. She only knew that Kieran seemed, somehow, to treat her gently. Like he might actually care.

It prodded at all the walls and defenses she had built like a constant drip of water. What would it feel like to have someone who actually cared by her side?

Claire shrugged her shoulders. "I guess? It's cute, the way you scowl."

"Who are you to tell me if I'm cute or not?"

"Uh... your friend? I'm trying to be encouraging here."

Naomi knew she shouldn't take out her frustrations on Claire. Claire had no idea the things going on behind the scenes in Naomi's life. Naomi couldn't blame her for anything that had happened in the past couple of days. Naomi had made her own decisions. Once her mother calmed down and stopped pouting, things would go back to normal. Wouldn't they?

"You okay?" Claire stretched her arms over her head, pulling her already too-short shirt up higher on her midriff. "Wanna get out of here and grab that dessert we never got?"

Dessert. Something sweet might clear her mind a little. Or, at least, allow her to see her mother's plan more clearly. Lingering on the emotion of betrayal would get Naomi nowhere in the grand scheme of things. Her mother hadn't built a company from the ground up without using her brain. Naomi would never be able to understand her mother if she reacted instead of responding.

"Yeah, sure." Naomi agreed too quickly, but she didn't care.

The stress levels lately pressed on her head and heart, threatening to burst over. Naomi didn't understand her own dissatisfaction. It frustrated her that her mother kept changing The Plan, but Naomi didn't want to stick with The Plan, either. So what did she want? That question resounded in her head like sirens.

Was she even capable of making a decision on her own?

"Before you go, make sure you take one of these," Ms. VanCamp announced, slapping a pile of papers onto her desk. "Our year-end retreat is coming up. If you want to go, I need this handed in by next class."

A smattering of recognition rose from the artists still seated at their easels.

"You're going, right?" Claire prodded as she rose to her feet.

Naomi removed the paintbrush from her hair and shook it out, letting it fall long behind her shoulders. "To the retreat?"

Claire nodded.

"Not sure." Naomi shrugged her shoulders. "I've never gone on a retreat before."

"Then you have to go!" Claire wrapped her arm through Naomi's and pulled her conspiratorially close. "It's only two days and one night. Not gonna kill you."

Little did Claire know. Naomi shook her head. "I probably shouldn't."

"But do you want to?"

"I'm graduating soon. I should be focusing on my final grades."

"But do you want to go?"

Claire's words sounded so similar to the question that Michelle had asked only two days ago. What did Naomi want? Did she want what The Plan entailed? Had she ever wanted it?

Claire dragged Naomi along beside her, stopping to grab two forms from the desk. She handed one over to Naomi. "It won't hurt to have the form. You don't have to decide this instant, just think it over."

"Fine." Naomi took the offered paper.

Claire could be so pushy, but Naomi found she didn't mind. It seemed like Claire did it for Naomi's good, every time. In her own way, Claire cared about Naomi, no matter how it presented itself. Naomi just wasn't sure why.

Claire didn't release Naomi's arm, but that had become normal. Claire really liked touching.

"So, what's your favorite dessert?" Claire asked as she steered Naomi out the building's back door.

"Favorite?" Naomi paused.

Did she have a favorite? All her life, her mother had taught her how to be diplomatic. How to avoid picking one thing in favor of pleasing everyone. Favorite? Naomi wasn't sure she knew the meaning of the word anymore.

Naomi's phone trilled from the interior of her bag. She extricated herself from Claire's hold so she could dig for it.

The caller ID screamed back at her: Mother.

Naomi clicked the power button to shutthe screen off. She didn't want to talk to her mother right now. Every text or phone call further secured the prison doors on Naomi's perfect life. It would be better to sort it out herself before she tried to speak with her mother.

Claire acted like she hadn't seen the name on Naomi's phone screen. "Yeah. Your favorite. What is it?"

"I'm... not really sure." Naomi tried honesty on for size and found that it didn't feel as awkward as she thought it might.

Claire bobbed her head again. "Cool. Then we'll try a bunch and see what you like."

"Is that really okay?"

Could she really leave it like that? A question with no correct answer?

"Naomi. Sweetie." Claire patted a hand on Naomi's shoulder. "How do you think people pick a favorite? It isn't luck of the draw."

Strange, that someone saw Naomi as a human instead of an academic robot. For the first time in her life, Naomi truly felt like she could depend on someone. Though she hadn't liked Claire at the beginning, she found that Claire had grown on her like a fungus and somehow crept under her skin.

"What's your  favorite dessert?" Naomi asked, the first time that she had taken an interest in anyone's life in years.

Claire laughed. "Mine? Tiramisu."

Naomi would have remarked on the choice, if her phone hadn't started ringing again. The same caller as before. Naomi reacted the same way, by silencing her phone.

"Is everything okay?" Claire asked.

Naomi nodded. "It's fine. Let's go get dessert."

For the first time in forever, Naomi didn't care that her mother was trying to reach her. For the first time in forever, Naomi made a conscious decision to do what she wanted instead of what she had been told.