The Heart That's Meant to Love You

Chapter 45: Introspection

Naomi ducked into a side hall that she knew no one ever visited. There, out of sight of everyone and everything, she allowed her palm to press against her chest.

Calm down, she begged her heart.

It pounded so hard that Naomi could hardly stand it. It was disconcerting, feeling every beat of one's own pulse. At this rate, it might very well jump right out of her body and wither on the floor before her.

How did Kieran manage to so effortlessly tug at the strings controlling her heart? Why did his voice in her ear, speaking her name so gently, cause gooseflesh to raise on her arms? Why did she want so badly to give in and follow Kieran to the edge of the world?

"Paint me."  Kieran's suggestion still hung heavy in her head.

Naomi had turned him down, too flustered by her reaction to his closeness to explain why.

In the end, it all boiled down to one thing. Naomi didn't paint anything that didn't live inside her heart. To paint Kieran, even to paint on Kieran, would mean that she had allowed him to take root inside of her heart.

Had she already embarked on that path? Naomi inhaled through her nose and exhaled out of her mouth. It did little to still her heartbeat.

Reacting to Kieran's magic was different from knowing they couldn't be together. Naomi had never dated anyone before. Had never had a crush. She didn't even know any guys except Oliver. And now Kieran. He skewed her perception of what her future relationship might look like. Though he had broken into her life, Naomi found that she trusted him.

Somewhere along the line, Kieran had proved to her that he could be trusted.

Perhaps because he didn't break her hard-and-fast boundaries. Maybe because, even though he flirted, he always pulled through in serious situations.

Whatever the cause, Naomi's heart had fluttered for the first time... the second time... the third and fourth. The one thing that Naomi thought she had full control over—her decision of whom she would love—had turned out not to be a decision at all. Because, try as she might to deny it, she thought Kieran might have already crawled into her heart and made a home there.

Where did she go from here? Naomi didn't know how to take another step. She shouldn't take another step.

Not only would her mother never approve, but letting her vulnerability show had never served her well before. A photographer? Her mother probably had much higher hopes for her only daughter.

Naomi sank down the wall, and only then did her heart finally slow down.

"Maybe it's just the excitement of the unknown," Naomi lied to herself.

Maybe she liked him because she couldn't have him. What would she do if it was the same for him? To adjoin herself to a man and then lose him would shatter Naomi's fragile worldview.

A hand tapped the top of Naomi's head.

Naomi shrieked and shied away.

Claire rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here? Thought that interim professor came this way with you."

"He left."

Or, at least, she hoped that he had left. It would be a pity if he saw her in this state. Kieran, with his insight, would know that he had won the game if he saw her this way.

"So what are you still doing here?" Claire asked.

Naomi shrugged her shoulders. She didn't want to explain, but she had a feeling that Claire wouldn't let this go so easily.

She was right.

Claire reached out a hand. "Get up. I have a spa appointment. Come with me. We'll talk there."

"I don't want to talk."

"I'm not giving you the option." Claire grabbed one of Naomi's hands and pulled. "Get up. This is our last spa opportunity before the retreat!"

"Retreat?" Naomi shook her head. "I didn't hand in my papers."

"I handed it in for you." Claire gave another hard yank. "Let's go."

Naomi didn't get as angry as she should have about the fact that Claire had signed her up for the retreat. In all honesty, it had sounded fun. Naomi had been scared to commit, that's all. Claire making the decision for her freed up Naomi's excuses.

"Spa. Time sensitive. Get up." One final yank from Claire finally managed to tug Naomi to her feet.

Naomi glanced down the hall. She wouldn't question how Claire had found her here. She would, however, question why Kieran hadn't come after her. He usually followed her.

"Spa, you say?" Naomi asked flippantly.

Claire pulled out her phone as she nodded. "Yes. Full service. You'll look so good after we're done."

"Isn't this for you, though?"

"Who cares? It's for both of us." Claire clicked away, clearly sending a reply message to someone.

Naomi didn't bother asking who it might be. It surprised her to find that she was curious about it in the first place. "Fine. Whatever."

"Great!" Claire pocketed her phone again and wrapped her arms around one of Naomi's. As per usual. "You won't regret this. I promise."

Though she wanted to refute everything Claire just said, Naomi remained silent. Something, deep down, told her she would indeed regret this. But she had bigger issues to mull over.

Starting with the too-handsome photographer who asked for her colors on his skin.

Naomi's phone buzzed in her bag. She dug it out, just in case her mother had called. She had not, but themessage resting in wait on Naomi's screen didn't need a caller ID. She knew who sent it immediately.

You showed me your colors. Let me show you mine. I'll send the time and date.

For once in her life, Naomi found eager anticipation building inside of her.