Tears | [BoyxBoy] | English

06

Mehansa was in her room completing her homework when I went home after the evening classes. Her whole face was darkened with an indescribable feeling. She greeted me with a blank stare as I washed up and went to her room.

'What's wrong?' I asked laying on her bed.

Mehansa placed the pencil in her hand on the table and looked at me from the chair. 'Sahesh Ayya.'

I bit my lower lip. 'Did he ask out you?'

Mehansa nodded as if to approve.

'So you like him?' I asked, making sure not to let the jealousy show on my face.

Mehansa looked at me like I was crazy. 'Do I look like a joke to you? You can keep him as you want. I told him that I don't need a lover right now.'

I was looking at her. 'You don't like him?'

Mehansa glanced at her pattern book and back at me. 'No. I have no feelings for him. Besides, he's not my type.'

I buried my face in a pillow and looked at her. 'So what's your type?'

My sister got up from the chair and jumped on the bed and lay down next to me. 'My type... someone who can cook... who has time to talk. Such people have not yet appeared in this world, so I plan to stay alone for the rest of my life.'

I was looking at Mehansa. I could tell by her facial expressions that she was hiding something. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it wasn't good.

'That one didn't come today to bother you?' When I asked, Mehansa stared blankly at the roof as if it was her sister.

'Did he come?' When I asked again, she nodded yes.

'Came. But it was not a big deal.'

'What happened?' When I asked, Mehansa gave me a shut up look.

I pursed my lips and stood up. 'I'm going to work. I have to check if that Nangi sent the income report she made.'

Mehansa nodded. 'Good luck with that then'

I slapped her on the back and left to my room. When I checked the phone, the girl who has an odd name has sent me the income report. I thanked her and sent it to Pasan ayya because I needed to let myself breathe freely. 

Then I saw the message that Sahesh was coming to our house for dinner tonight. I silently wondered what kind of atmosphere his presence would create between Mehansa and me.

By dinner, however, Mehansa and I managed to behave as normal as possible. Mehansa placed the ordered food on the table and after dad came and sat down, we three also sat down.

We were sitting with Mehansa next to me and Sahesh in front of me. We ate without saying anything until a few minutes passed. Then the father raised his voice to break the silence.

'So Sahesh... how are you?'

I watched as Sahesh swallowed the food. Even the way his throat moved gave me a strange feeling.

'I'm fine uncle...' Sahesh replied simply, taking another mouthful of rice in the corner of his plate.

Mehansa kicked me and brought me back to my senses. I started eating normally again.

'Is Miniru doing well at school, Sahesh? I didn't get time to teachers and didn't have time to find out about these two.' Neither Mehansa nor I said anything, knowing that Dad was lying.

He never came to school to look for me or my sister. As he had duties, even the teachers gave less attention on both of us.

'Miniru is doing well, uncle. As for Mehansa, there is no way for me to find out.' Sahesh replied.

As father and Sahesh's conversation dragged on and on, I and Mehansa were the most uncomfortable. Both of them were talking about each kind of questions that neither of us could answer.

Finally it stopped because of Sahesh's one sentence.

'Uncle, a homosexual couple was caught and expelled from our school... I say that it is better to stay away from such people.' Sahesh said as usual.

Mehansa kicked me under the table and I looked at father. I could see the father's facial expressions all change.

'Yes. Not being able to be like normal people is a disease.' As Dad answered, Mehansa squeezed my hand, telling me to stay calm.

After that, there was a deep silence around the table. No one seemed to need to raise their voices. Mehansa was the first to get up from the table saying she needed to go to her room. After a while, when I was allowed to stand up, Sahesh also stood up.

A few minutes later the three of us were in my room. Mehansa was sitting on my desk and Sahesh was sitting on my bed. I was worried if Mehansa would find it uncomfortable to be in the same room with Sahesh, but since both of them were acting like nothing, I decided not to ask.

'Did you send the income report to Pasan Ayya, Miniru?' When Sahesh asked me, I nodded in agreement.

'Someone made it and sent it. It was sent. There is someone in Leo who can get things done at the right time. Otherwise we are lost.' I replied.

Sahesh smiled. 'That is true. Last year the top board of the Leo club couldn't get things done at time and they were scolded in front of the whole school.'

'Ah... yes... that was  three years ago. The income report has been prepared incorrectly. I remember sending it without even looking for mistakes and finally everything went wrong.'

'It won't happen this time. As long as our Miniru Devanma is there, we know that we won't be lost again.' I smiled out of the corner of my mouth as Sahesh said kicking my leg.

An hour or so passed after that with Sahesh and I going through math problems. Mehansa was sitting on my bed busy with her phone.

As there was no one to talk to her, I looked at her playing fruit games like little children with a little sadness. I knew that Mehansa would inherit something more than what she currently has.

Unfortunately, I did not have the strength and resources to provide that.

I was also weak.

At least I didn't have the strength to tell my own feelings to the one I wanted.

It was close to midnight when we finished solving math problems amid Sahesh's jokes. Mehansa fell asleep on my bed. Until Sahesh left the house, my father was reading a book in the living room, pretending to have a word with me as soon as Sahesh left.

Dropping Sahesh at the gate, I set foot in the house.

'Don't bring that boy home again.' Father said harshly.

I shot him a questioning look.

'I don't like that kind of boy looking at that girl.' It took me a while to realize that Dad was talking about my sister.

I shrugged my shoulders and walked back upstairs, wondering what had caused my father to suddenly look for my sister.

Mehansa was fast asleep when I arrived.

After arranging the blanket to cover her body, I also curled up under it and closed my eyes.

_____

TEARS

2022. 07. 29