Tears | [BoyxBoy] | English

36

In the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of coughing. I sat on the bed, trying to shake the sleepiness from my eyes with my fingertips. The fact that the sound of coughing was not coming from Yeheni's room managed to dispel my sleepiness and I quickly got out of bed and came out of the room.

'Nangi?' I poked my head into her room, forgetting for a moment that I knew she wasn't there.

Confirming once again that she was not in her room, I walked into the kitchen to check on her presence. The kitchen was dark but I could see something white in the gap between the fridge and the wall. I turned on the light bulb in the kitchen and I could see Yeheni curled up in the gap. Only her white shorts were visible and her hands and face were covered by her messy hair.

'Nangi?' I went near her and sat down there. She said nothing and for a moment I could see her shaking.

'C.. It's cold...' I heard her whisper.

'What are you doing here?' I stupidly asked, but then it became clear to me that she was huddled there because of the heat from the refrigerator.

'Let's go to bed... I grabbed her hand and tried to lift her up. I felt like her whole body was frozen and she refused to move. I leaned over her and put my hands under her legs and picked her up. Yeheni gently put her hands around my sides and pressed against my body.

Stepping slowly into her room, I placed her on her bed and removed the hair that had fallen on her face with my fingertips. Yeheni's face was pale and her eyes were droopy as if she was close to death. Sighing, I took the blanket and covered her body.

'Don't go...' she said holding my hand as I was about to pull away from her. Yeheni tried to turn her body aside and I held her hand and switched off the light bulb in the room.

I crawled under the blanket beside her and put my arms around Yeheni's waist and hugged her. Yeheni also curled up as her body pressed against mine. I felt a sense of relief as her petrified body slowly warmed up. Although her body was warm, I was drenched in sweat due to both the warmth of the blanket and the warmth of Yeheni's body.

I stayed by her side for half an hour and made sure that she fell asleep and got out from under the blanket and stood by the bed. As Yeheni was fast asleep, I came back to my room and curled up on my bed, and left the fan on. 

It had been about a month and a half since I married Yeheni and I felt that I was still not ready for fatherhood. The fact that Yeheni was not giving birth to my child was also bothering me. While thinking about all that, I fell asleep again.

When I woke up the next morning, it was past seven in the morning. Yeheni usually wakes me up at around six with a cup of tea, but I didn't see her awake today. After getting out of bed, I went to the bathroom, washed my face, and went to the kitchen. Turning on the heater to make Yeheni's favorite cup of coffee, I opened the fridge and took out a few slices of bread, and put them in the toaster. I never felt lacking in cooking skills to prepare a complex meal due to the fact that Shanalka was the one cooking while he was there and Yeheni was doing everything alone after he died.

After preparing the cup of coffee, I went to Yeheni's room and stood by the door for a moment, and got lost in the world of thoughts. I now knew there was no need to knock before going into the room, but I knocked on the door as some reluctance arose in my mind.

'nangi?'

No answer. After knocking on the door again, I opened the door and entered the room. I expected Yeheni to be sleeping but Yeheni was awake. Huddled under the covers, her face was pale and her eyes were open like a ghost. I took the coffee cup in one hand and sat next to her. As she did not respond to me with any movement, I put my hand on her forehead and stopped for a moment to check her fever.

'No fever... Nangi gets up and drinks this like a good girl. After that, if we want, we can go out to eat.' In response to those few words, Yeheni moved slightly. She placed her palms on the bed and pulled herself up and sat on the bed.

'Going out?' She asked me like a child with wide eyes.

I nodded. 'Yes, let's go out and eat your favorite chocolate cake...'

'Would you buy me a packet of Oreos?' She asked taking the cup of coffee in my hand.

I nodded again and removed the hair from her face. 'We will take all the things you like...'

'a cat?'

'a cat?' I asked her back, surprised.

Yeheni took a sip from her coffee cup. 'Yes, I want a cat with green eyes. They look so beautiful with their big eyes.'

'Mmm...' I stared helplessly at her for a moment, unable to say anything. A corner of my mind was telling me that I should take her to a psychiatrist, but I couldn't imagine how I could do it in a way that she wouldn't understand.

'Yesh...'

She looked down at me.

'Shall we go see a doctor? Go and say what you have to say and be free?' Yeheni looked at me as she barely understood what I was saying.

'Why are we seeing a doctor?' she asked back.

'Forget it.' I sighed.

Yeheni emptied the coffee cup and handed it to me. I picked it up and stood up. 'Would you like some more sleep? Or are we going out now? Go to the barista and get something to drink. You like it.'

She pursed her lips for a while and thought. 'Shall we go now? It's best to go in the morning.'

I opened the door. 'Then get ready. I will also go and get dressed.'

Ten minutes later, Yeheni, dressed in a white shirt and black pants, was sitting on a chair in the living room. I could clearly see how her belly was protruding and I took the car key without saying anything.

'Let's go...' I said, she stood up from her chair and hung onto my hand.

Her shirt was quite big and I was shocked when I saw her exposed shoulder because I realized how thin she was.

'Eat much as you want. Don't think about the prize.' I squeezed her hand.

Yeheni smiled. The fact that she was happier than she was due to childish behavior was comforting, but it scared me.

I could not imagine what would happen to her in the future.

I stopped thinking about it for a moment and took her hand and stepped out of the house.

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TEARS

2022. 08. 06