Tears | [BoyxBoy] | English

12

I spent the next two days sitting on the floor next to Mehansa in the living room. I was not clear about my friends and Mehansa's classmates coming home. I heard someone saying that my mother did not even visit Mehansa. I couldn't understand why they were coming to see the sleeping Mehansa.

Lying between two wooden ledges, Mehansa looked serene. Her body, adorned with a long white gown, lay peacefully. I wanted to get up and pat her to get her up. But there was no strength left in my body. I don't remember eating anything. All I wanted was to get Mehansa up and take her back to bed in her room. I wanted to cover her body with the panel cloth with Winnie The Pooh bear and put her to sleep but I didn't see her getting up.

'Malli...' I looked up slightly as I felt someone sitting next to me. Next to me was my aunt's daughter Thushi. I looked down again. I didn't even have the guts to say anything. I didn't remember eating anything since the day Mehansa slept in the living room.

'Malli...' Akka slowly uttered her words. 'Let's go and eat something Malli. Nangi won't come back again...'

I pressed my head against the wall and closed my eyes. I didn't even have to imagine that she wouldn't come back. Mehansa is a quiet person but it was hard for me to imagine a day without seeing her. My eyes hurt from not getting enough sleep and crying my eyes out.

'They will keep her body another day here Malli...' Thushi akka touched my head. 'Let's go eat something and get some sleep...'

I looked at Thushi akka. 'If she wakes up when I'm sleeping, will you call me?' I asked with a dry throat.

I could see tears welling up in Thushi akka's eyes, but I couldn't understand why. She nodded. 'I'll call you babe... come on, let's eat and sleep.'

When she tried to get up, I held her hand and stopped her. 'Akka, can you... feed me?'

She nodded and left. I pressed my palms on the floor and got up and went to where Mehansa was sleeping. A bouquet of white roses is held between her hands. Mehansa has showed little interest in flowers. But I was sure she wouldn't hate a bunch of white roses. My body was about to fall back, but I backed into the wall and fell to the ground. I was sure that Mehansa would wake up at any moment and come to me. I felt Thushi akka sitting next to me again.

She put something in my mouth, but I was stuck with the first sip. akka gave me a sip of water and started feeding me again. When she finished, I felt something different than before. Thushi akka took me to a spare room downstairs and helped me to lie on the bed and covered my body with a panel.

I grabbed her hand as she was about to leave. 'Sister... call me if Mehansa wakes up...'

'Okay babe...' she said slowly.

I closed my eyes after she closed the room door and left. I had no doubt that Thushi akka will tell me if Mehansa wakes up. So I can sleep for an hour or two. As I slowly closed my eyes, I woke up again with a start as someone grabbed my shirt by the shoulders and pulled me off the bed and pinned me against a wall.

With my poor eye sight I saw that person as Sahesh. 'Sahesh?'

I opened my eyes and looked at him when he reached out and slapped my cheek. 'why...'

He was crying. 'why?' he shouted. 'Are you asking why! Mehansa was lost because of you...'

I couldn't understand what he was saying. Mehansa is sleeping in the living room. I couldn't understand why Sahesh was saying she was lost. I pointed the living room with my hand.

'Mehansa... sleeping in the living room...' I said.

Sahesh tightened my shirt and pressed me further against the wall and leaned towards my face. I couldn't respond to the rough kiss that followed because I had no life in my body. He kissed me until my lungs were empty. After a while Sahesh pulled my hand and pulled me to a bed.

After that I felt such a headache that it was difficult to recognize the person on my body. Everything around me was a blur but my senses were all working fine.

I tried to scream because of the sudden pain in my neck, but the one on top of my body covered my mouth with his hand.

'You... killed the girl I loved.' He shouts. I have a familiarity in his voice.

A name that was in memory suddenly faded from memory. I feel his hand go through my pants as I try to squirm. I was struggling. His caresses made me uncomfortable. I struggled to get away from him. His hands roughly went under my pants I felt uncomfortable with his touch.

I feel everything around me spinning.

'Stop that!' Someone else shouts.

I felt the person on top of me fall away and I relaxed. The room was then filled with the sound of talking, but I could not understand it as I was falling asleep due to exhaustion. I pressed my face to the pillow and closed my eyes. Someone got on the bed and started rubbing my head. The fingers were very small and I did not feel familiar with them. It was healthy though. I rested my head on that hand and let my mind drift off to sleep.

After that, although I woke up from time to time, I was so tired that I couldn't get out of bed. I felt as if my whole body had turned to stone.

I suddenly woke up and asked the person next to me if Mehansa was still sleeping in the living room. I couldn't understand what he or she said because of the sheer exhaustion that invaded my mind.

I opened my eyes and at one point I felt the room spinning around me. I felt someone whisper near my ear, so I awkwardly raised my hand and struck in the direction of the sound. But the hand did not touch anything. I felt like I couldn't understand anything around me.

The world was around me.

I was tired.

I felt the lack of Mehansa curled up next to me, exhausted as usual, even though I was very tired. But she is sleeping in the living room. I can't wake her up. I have to wait until she wakes up and comes to me and hugs my belly saying 'Ayya'.

It is difficult but I have to persevere.

I had to be patient until she came to me.

________

TEARS

2022. 07. 29