Tears | [BoyxBoy] | English

22

After bringing Yeheni home I felt as if Shanalka had no time to spend with me. I was kind of okay with it because if I was Shanalka, I would do the same for Mehansa. Yeheni was silent. I also felt unbearable because she kept portraying Mehansa.

'Dead.' As I lay in bed, Shanalka fell to my side.

I stared at him. Shanalka put his arms around my body and rested his head on my shoulder. I embraced him in my arms.

'Um?'

'I'm thinking about you. But because of Yeheni, I don't have time to spend with you like before. Is it okay hun?'

I nodded, wondering if he couldn't see it in the dark. 'That's okay. If Mehansa was there, I would have done the same. That's okay, Shanalka. After Nangi gets better, let's both finish A levels and do as many things as we want to do alone.'

'A levels are coming in five months, right?' When Shanalka asked I felt got to think that we both were too busy to think about it again and again.

'Are we ready to write A/Ls?' I asked him again.

Shanalka smiled making his hot breath hit my shoulder. I liked it even though it left a slight tingle all over my shoulder.

We spent that night hugging each other. His warmth spread all over my body and I willingly intertwined my legs with his.

When I woke up the next morning, Shanalka had left the house with a note beside me telling me to keep an eye on Yeheni. I washed my face and went downstairs to got some rice on a plate from the kitchen and started eating.

Since there was no sound from Yeheni's room, I assumed she was still asleep. After eating I wandered around for a while and then went back upstairs and knocked on the door of Yeheni's room.

'Nangi...'

No answer.

'Nangi...?'

Again no sound at all.

I knocked on her door about seven times that way. When there was no answer, I nervously put my hand on her doorknob and opened it. The room was filled with silence, but Yeheni was lying on the bed. It wasn't a cold day, but she has wrapped cozy sheets all over her body, so I smiled and walked over to her.

Then I froze after seeing that she wasn't sleeping. Yeheni's eyes were wide open as if she had seen a ghost. Her whole face was pale and she acted as if she didn't even know I was there.

I walked up to her and put my hand on her shoulder and shook her a little. 'Nangi?''

As Yeheni's body moved a little further, my heart almost stopped after seeing her hands. A sharp blade was curled between her fingers and her blood ran down her hand until the white sheets turned red.

'Nangi!' With a scream I pulled the blade away from her and tossed it aside. She looked at me blankly as if to say she had nothing to do.

'God Mehansa what are you going to do!' I pulled her into my chest as she squealed and cried until my chest was wet.

After a moment it became clear to me. I called her Mehansa. At that time I was not conscious enough to choose that this is not Mehansa. 

After letting her cry for a while, I put her on the bed and went to the bathroom to clean her hand. She had not cut herself with the sharp blade, but she had got cuts between her fingers from holding it tightly.

Until I cleaned her wound, she sat on my legs and stared at me, not even showing that the wound hurt. Even the thought of she losing her senses hurt me a lot.

'Does this hurt?' I finally asked, unable to bear the silence.

No answer.

I also put medicine on the wound without asking anything and bandaged it after. Then I helped her to sit on a chair and cleaned the bed to give her some sleep as if nothing happened. 

Her clothes were also stained with blood, but I was not strong enough to remove them, I told myself, scolding my disobedient mind that this is not Mehansa.

'Ayya...' she said softly as I picked her up and laid her on the bed.

'Yes?'

'Can  you give me a  shirt from the cupboard?'

I sighed and opened her closet. Unlike Shanalka's closet, which was full of black, hers was colorful. I took a large white shirt from the folded clothes and gave it to her as she turned to the other side.

Although I didn't want to look at her, I saw her bruises as she quickly removed her shirt from her shoulders. The back area was covered with support braces, but above that, near the shoulders, were many old scars. I could tell at a glance that the scars were long and deep, as if they had been cut by a sharp weapon.

Yeheni lay on the bed with her shirt on and looked at me. 'Hug me.'

I gulped. For a moment I hesitated, but she looked at me with a pleading look.

'Mehansa...' Yeheni suddenly started to crying.

My throat tightened. I lay down next to her on the bed and slowly wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. Yeheni was startled for a while and hugged my body but after a while she fell asleep. After she fell asleep, I watched her for a while, running my fingers through her messy hair.

I stayed next to her for half an hour and then got up and switched on the fan. Feeling tired, I left the room and went to my room and picked up my phone which had been switched off for months.

I knew I wasn't up to looking at the messages it had. But I turned it on.

After a full twenty minutes passed and the phone started working at its normal speed, I did what I wanted to do and took one more glance at Mehansa's image on the screen.

Seeing her smile, I felt my body tremble. I kept my finger on the screen for a while and started moving my fingers through the choices that appeared there.

Everything had changed in a minute.

The image on the front screen was a photo of me, Shanalka and Yeheni.

Mehansa had returned to me in the form of Yeheni.

I didn't see the point in dwelling on the past and hurting myself.

So I felt like I had taken a new step forward to change everything as I wanted.

___________

TEARS

2022. 08. 02