Tears | [BoyxBoy] | English

39

While Yeheni was depressed again, I got addicted to Nethil's company. Delaying going home till midnight, I started spending time with Nethil at his house to escape the pressure of seeing Yeheni. I put the crib and everything we bought for the baby into the garage and locked it.

Another week Saturday night I was sitting on a seat in a club and holding Nethil's hand. He playfully told me all sorts of stories, but I had little interest in them. When Nethil finally invited me to dance, I stood up from my chair and held his hand. We both started moving slowly on the ground of the dance floor. Nethil was very happy but I stepped cautiously. My mind was really at home with Yeheni. Nothing that Nethil said went through my mind as I was filled with the guilt of leaving her alone.

'Ayya?' I looked at Nethil startled as he pressed his fingers against my face.

'why?'

'Are you listening to me?'

'Hmm.'

'You are not listening to me.'

I placed my hand on Nethil's shoulder and pulled him closer to my body to stop him from talking. All I needed was a quiet movement to the music. My mind was racing and I needed to calm it down. Nethil's head rested on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him close to my body. As Nethil's arms wrapped around my waist, I felt like Shanalka was next to me. It had been almost a year since Shanalka's death without even a trace of time passing.

After about an hour I removed my hands from Nethil's body. 'I am going home.'

Nethil pursed his lips. 'Earlier today?'

'My head hurts.' I told a lie. Nethil rolled up and left my body. I took the car keys from my pocket and came out of the club. My head was spinning and I sat in the car seat and watched my hand for a moment, unable to think of anything to do. It was almost midnight and I started the car and slowly drove home. On the way, I saw a supermarket that was open. There was nothing to buy, but I went there and began to walk among the shelves. Although I was not drunk, my head was spinning like I was a heavy drinker.

I went to the section where the drinks were and picked up a bottle of Necta from it. Taking it to the counter, I saw a shelf full of Nutella bottles. I picked one up when I remembered the day Mehansa had died. I remembered that I was half-conscious that day too. Although there was no reason to smile, a smile appeared on my face for no reason. I went to the counter and took my bank card from my wallet and gave it to the cashier without stopping to look at the amount spent on the merchandise.

After paying the money, I sat in the front seat of the car and opened the Necta bottle. I looked out into the darkness and smiled to myself as the strange taste of it dug into my throat. I couldn't think of anything to do. I felt helpless. I didn't need to go back home. I knew I couldn't bear the pain of seeing Yeheni. I knew I was doing her an injustice by leaving her alone. After all that, there was nothing left for me to do.

I started the car and started driving it home. As I felt the movement of the Nutella bottle on my lap, I remembered Mehansa. Mehansa has been dead for almost eight years now.

Mehansa, Shanalka, and Yeheni's child had cruelly left Yeheni alone in this world. I knew I shouldn't leave her alone either. By the time we reached the house, it was nearly two in the morning and the house was full of darkness. I opened the door of the house with the key in my pocket and entered the house. When there was no answer when I opened the door, I went to Yeheni's room and knocked on her door. Although I called her two or three times, I did not get a reply from her.

When there was no response from her I opened the door. It was not locked and I lifted the bottle of Nutella. 'I brought you a bottle of Nutella, dear. Sorry for being late... Your brother has work baby... You can eat this alone... I won't even eat secretly...' I closed my eyes and said those words I told Mehansa to Yeheni in the same way.