Bang Chan's POV
"What's with that smile on your face after looking at your phone?" Seungmin asks as if reading the minds of the other members.
"Oh. I don't realize I was smiling," I reply back, shrugging off the question.
"Then what did you look at?" Minho asks, pressing the conversation.
"Oh, just a message from my mom. She got Berry a new collar," I reply smoothly. I don't want to lie to my members, but there is no way I'm telling them that I'm talking to a girl, let alone a Little. I shoot them a smile to give them a little more convincing.
The members leave the topic alone and go back to whatever they were doing before I walked in. However, Felix is immediately by my side. I don't say anything to him as I place my dishes in the sink and head back to my room. I tell everyone that I'll be working on some music in my room and they all wave me off. Felix follows me like a lost puppy without a word to the others and no one takes notice.
As soon as the door closes behind Felix, Felix spits out in English, "Are you on that site?"
I look at him as I slip my phone out of my pocket. I quickly send the girl a message back and hide my phone away. I glanced over at Felix as I pull my laptop out of its case and settle onto my bed. I ignore him for a moment, preparing everything so I can work on some music.
"Chris, don't you dare ignore me," Felix complains as he plops himself next to me.
I grab my headphones and test them around my neck. "I'm not ignoring you, Felix," I say as my attention is on my laptop.
"Then answer the question."
"And what if I am?"
"You can't answer a question with another question! Wait. So you are? That's so exciting! Are you talking to someone? Is that why you were smiling at your phone? Who is it? Is she a Little? Is she cute? Oh my god! Chris! You have to tell me everything!"
"First off, dropping the honorifics much? And secondly, I barely started talking to this person. We hardly know each other."
"Sorry, hyung, but this is important. You're already smiling at a text message from her. She must be something for you to react like that. You're practically smitten with her!"
"Okay, Felix, you are jumping to conclusions. I barely know this girl and who knows where this will go. Plus, I'm an idol. You know how detrimental it would be if she found out. I can't even date her anyways."
"What are you talking about? Our dating ban got lifted earlier this year! Practically everyone in the company know that Jisung hyung and Minho hyung are married. You should be allowed to date!"
"You know it's different for me, Felix. I'm not just looking for a girlfriend. I'm looking for a Little. It's much harder with the fact that I'm famous. If anyone finds out that I'm into DDLG, my whole career will be ruined. A girlfriend people can look past after some time, but a girlfriend that acts younger than her age and calls me "Daddy'? That will crush all of my hard work. And you guys will be affected too. I don't have just me to think about. I am your leader. I have to think about you guys and what's best for Stray Kids. And Stays too."
"Hyung, I know you wants what's best for us. But what about your happiness? We can push the whole Daddy/Little thing aside, but what if you meet someone you like and they are a Little? You'll get what you've always wanted. You can stop thinking about us and think about yourself. I know it's early, but you look like you're already into this girl. And she doesn't even you're an idol right? That conversation you can have later, but why not enjoy talking to a Little? You deserve a chance to like someone and explore your feelings. I want you to be happy, hyung. And you're already showing an interest in this girl."
I sigh as I rub my face. I know Felix is right. I always prioritize the group and our music over what I want. But there are so many factors going against me going for what I want that I can't help feeling the way I do. This could be my chance to find someone I can love and cherish, but I feel like my feet are stuck in cement and there is a pickaxe right in front of me, but I'm not reaching for it.
"I don't know how I feel about her, Felix," I respond after a few moments of silence. "This is all so new to me and I don't want to mess anything up. This girl is the first step in me looking for a Little and I don't know if this will even go anywhere. I would appreciate you not making this into a big deal. The others don't even know about who I am and I don't know when I want to have that conversation."
"I'm sorry, hyung," Felix apologizes looking down at his hands. "I just want you to be happy and this looked like the first possibility of you actually having a Little and getting that happiness. I want to be excited for you. I promise to back off... But can I see what she looks like?"
Felix sheepishly looks at me as I let out another sigh. I understand where he's coming from. He's been so support of me being a Daddy. He's never judged me once for this lifestyle I want to live and he only wants to help. I fish my phone out of my pocket. I pull up the website and I go to her profile. I click through her pictures and pick the one I think she looks best in. In all of her photos, she is wearing a mask, but I get it. I'm not showing my face on her incase there are any Stays or antis on here, so privacy is very important. I pick out a photo of her looking into a mirror wearing a pale pink dress and a white face mask.
"Here," I say handing Felix my phone. "She goes by Ami on the site. But I don't know if that's her real name."
"She's cute!" Felix exclaims. He holds onto my phone a little longer than I would like. "Ooo. She's a writer. She lives in Seoul! Channie hyung! She could be around the corner! Oh! She sent you a message!"
I snatch my phone out of his hands to see him looking through her profile. I see the little red bubble at the top of the screen showing that I did get a message from her. "Lix, you weren't supposed to look through her profile!"
I click open the message to see her reply: "Cool! Thanks for letting me know. Is there a name that prefer I use or do you want to be called WolfDaddy97? Lol. You can call me Mimi, if that helps! Are you busy today? I don't want to bother you if you are."
I send back a response, "It's my day off actually! You can call me Chris. I might head to a cafe later just to leave my apartment and get some fresh air. What about you? Do you have any plans today?"
"Hyung, you smiling," Felix points out as he pokes one of my dimples.
I swat his hand away as a blush creeps up my neck. "Can I just smile to smile?"
"Sure, but you're already smiling over a girl. Face it, hyung. You like her."
"I barely know her. And it's just nice to talk to someone who doesn't know me as Bang Chan from Stray Kids."
"I get that." Felix gets up and off my bed. He heads towards the door. "I hope you get what you're looking for, hyung. And I hope that even if she doesn't work out, you'll find someone who's right for you."
Felix leaves the room and I am enveloped in silence. I look down at my phone and check the message she had sent back. "I'm going to call my best friend and catch up with him and then I'm heading to a local cafe. I love sitting in a cafe and people watch."
I text back, "That's nice. It's always nice to catch up with your friends. I like people watching too. It's nice sitting in a cafe and having a moment to yourself. I don't get those that often so I like to cherish them."
"That's so nice. It's good to take time for yourself."
"Well, I won't bother you if you need to call your best friend right now. I need to work on somethings in my apartment before I can head out. I'll talk to you later?"
"Yeah! I'd love to!"
I drop my phone onto my bed and turn back to my laptop. I'm content with where our conversation has ended and I hope we get to talk later. I want to be able to leave space in the conversation so we don't feel like have to be tied down to talk all the time. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me whenever she can. We have barely talked to each other, but I feel like we already have a good grasp on how we want to communicate.
YOU ARE READING
My Baby Love (A Bang Chan Daddy AU)
RomanceBang Chan enters a fetish website looking to find his Baby Girl. Being an Idol, he has to hide his identity and keep his image as clear as possible. What happens when he finds exactly what he's been looking for for so long? Will she be understanding...