Alone Awaken

Chapter 43: Remi

Buzz buzz

I slid my head phones down my head to the nape of my neck. For hours today I've been perched by my favorite window In my house, orchestrating Spotify lists to my winter mood. Christmas break has given me time to reflect on so much that has happened this past semester. Who I was, who I've become and who I want to be. With or without Colton. I've started writing down my thoughts and working them out on paper. I sometimes imagine I'm writing to Austin, as if he'll give me some expert advice like he always did.

Buzz buzz

I pick up my phone and see texts from Jess. Suddenly, my phone feels heavy in my hand. I haven't spoken to Colton and he hasn't spoken to me since the day of his presentation. That's what I asked for and he did just that. Nothing. It has started bothering me the last few days and there's been this feeling in my stomach that something hasn't been right. I've tried ignoring. I even tried playing the piano to understand it. It's as if my mind and heart have been battling with this unspoken issue of Colton. I thought about forgiving him. But I'm reminded of why I left him when I think back of him on that stage sharing my depression to a panel of judges. Obviously they didn't know who it was about, but the fact that Colton took a physical part of me and warped it into a project hurt. There's nothing else to describe the feeling.

Buzz buzz

Another message brings me back from my thoughts and with one quick breathe I slide the texts open.

Remi, I wouldn't be texting you if this wasn't important. I know things ended bad with you and Colt. But it's bad. Colt's in the hospital and you need to come now.

My body stills. What the fuck... the hospital?!

He fell asleep outside in the cold for hours. Doctors don't know how long, but it's been long enough to cause damage.

The phone in my hands start to shake and I can't think. I just keep reading.

He has frost bite on his left hand where he might lose some fingers. Remi, he loves to play music. This is just bad. They don't know about his feet yet.

Colton losing music and to play soccer? This can't be happening. I'm already to my feet not knowing where I'm going. I kick off the blanket wrapped my legs and I grab my keys. My phone buzzes in my hand and I unlock it.

Just please come.

I am Jess, I'm coming.

The hospital is bright and cold at the same time. It took me fifteen minutes to plug in Jessica's location and park. Another five minutes of battling with the front desk to tell me where Colton was. I swear these places purposefully make things worse just so your not in the right mind to see the thousands of dollars their reeling in from you. Luckily, Jess found me and grabbed my hand without a word, bringing me right to where I'm needed the most. With Colton, by his side.

Jess slows in front of a cream colored door slightly cracked enough to see it's dark inside. "He has kept the blinds shut and doesn't want to talk to anyone. He knows everything the doctor has told us." She turns to me and our eyes lock. "Remi, I know my brother fucked up. I remind him everyday. And maybe this is my own fault reminding him. But he needed to know he messed up and he does. Damn it I know he knows because why else would he just sit in the snow for hours ignoring the cold?" She grabs my other hand and brings them together in hers. "You are everything to him and he loves you so much. I see it and I know you love him too." My eyes start to swell with tears and my lip starts to quiver. I bite it to stop it from moving. "I'm not asking you to forgive and forget. But just sit next to him please and maybe he will come back to us." I look towards the door and give a quick nod.

"Ok." I drop my hands and press the door open.