Alone Awaken

Chapter 41: Colton

"Remi stop!" I rush up the aisle towards the doors, sprinting like my life depended on it. For fucks sake it did depend on it. She is my life and I can't live without her.

Through the glass doors I see her long brown hair whipping in the wind as her arms pump and her legs move faster from the sound of my voice. "Remi wait! Please!" I jump off the concrete steps landing on the sidewalk practically falling forward from my own momentum. Keep moving. Get to her. I regain my balance and she's only a few yards away. She hooks left towards the parking lot. I know where she's going.

The trees are bare and the pathway is covered in golden brown leaves. With every crunch, I get closer to her weeping Willow. I move past one last tree branch and there it is. Standing tall and perfect, like we never left. I slowly approach and brush the vines aside. When I walk through, it feels as if the air got colder and the light dimmed darker. I hear a whimper and I look to the base of the tree. There she is. Sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees tight breathing in and out slowly to calm herself. I pace over trying so hard not to hold her instantly.

I slowly lower to one knee in front of her. "Remi?" I whisper.

"Don't." Is all she said.

I lower my other knee and sit back on my heels. My eyes begin to burn. I've done this to her. "It's not what you think. I-"

Remi's head shot up from her knees. "What am I suppose to think Colton?!" She rises to her feet in an instant. Faster than I was expecting and I fall back on my hands. Pain shoots up my right hand, like a lightening bolt to my shoulder. I bite down on my lip to stifle my yell from the pain in my broken hand. Remi leans over with anger in her eyes.

"You used me Colton! You lied to me! You had my music this entire time and you knew I was fucked up from the beginning. This whole thing from the start was a ruse to play shrink. You are sick!" She stomps past me and I push off the pain onto my feet stumbling to her.

"No it wasn't!" Remi stills but doesn't turn around. "Yes I lied about having your music but none of the time we shared was a lie! I was drawn to you the second I saw you playing. Bearing your soul on that piano, it was real and I wanted that realness. So I kept the USB drive hoping to use it as a reason to find you again. But once I heard all your pain, I knew I had to help you. Everything I did, all of it was for you, because I love you." She turns on her feet towards me. He eyes red with pain.

"I never needed your help! I was perfectly fine living out my life here the way it was. You coming into my life and fucking with it, like a toy-Patient zero?! I know I'm a fucking zero, I didn't need someone sharing it to the world for me." She slowly walks towards me and my hands start to shake. The need to hold her is becoming unbearable. But I know she's not done. Let her finish.

"Your experiment didn't work. You didn't fix me." She seethed. "Listening to that music back there, that's who I was and that's what I'll always be. A murderer. Nothing you try to do will change that." She laughs to herself. "I'm glad Josh and Kelsey told me about today because sitting in that auditorium reminded me of where I came from, what I did to my brother and to never forget that, regardless of who comes in or out of my life. Regardless of you." She steps back a step and breathes in a sharp breath as if she just realized everything she just said. "You don't love me Colton. My brother loved me and he would have never done what you did to me even if he thought he was helping me."

She pauses for a second and stares into my eyes. Her brow softens as if she remembered something. "You could have told me the truth, before any of this was laid out on that stage. If you just... opened up to me like I did to you. I trusted you. But you didn't trust me." A single tear falls down her flushed cheek. I instinctively reach for it but she pulls back. My heart broke in that second. "Don't touch me." She said with ease, without any anger. Like someone who had nothing left to give.

My hand drops like a heavy weight to my side. My eyes start to water and my heart falls to my stomach. "I did help you by being there for you, by sharing music that I loved with you. It was my way of telling you I loved you, regardless of the project. We created this bond between us that we both felt safe in. You felt safe. You felt... happy. And it shows in your music today. If you just listen to your last song-"

"I know the last song I played. It wasn't for you. It was for my brother. " She turns away. "In that moment when I touched the keys... for the first time I felt warmth. And that warmth brought me back to all the great memories I had with Austin. I didn't think about the pain or the emptiness, only his love filled me. I wasn't thinking about you. That's how I know you didn't fix me Colton, he fixed me. He has been with me this entire time and I never realized it before. I've never been alone. Just... quiet."

She starts to walk away and I panic. So I sobbed, I sobbed like a little bitch. "You love me Remi, I know you do."

Her steps faulted for a second but keeps walking.

"Never come near me again. Don't call me. Don't text me. Do nothing." She walked through the willow's vines and the last thing I saw was her brown hair tangle with the leaves.