Alone Awaken

Chapter 5: Colton

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Tori asked, more like demanded. I have no idea where this anger is coming from, she's never reacted this way when I talk to girls. If anything she encourages me to meet girls. Granted, they're mostly people she knows, maybe that has something to do with it? Regardless, she shouldn't get involved.

"What are you talking about?" I respond laughing the question off.

"This Rambo girl, how long have you guys been seeing each other?" She points her finger with disapproval at where Remi was once standing, as if she's still there. My brow furrows at her question. I find my hands beginning to ball into fists as a defense. I don't know Remi, but I have the need to defend her. I felt her pain through music. She's been through enough to have to deal with Tori's bullshit, even when she's not here.

"Why d'you care?" I bellow "You never have cared about people I talk to, why now? Why her!?" A serious question I want to know. I gave Tori numerous chances to try with us. Each time, she shut me down and disregarded me. I gave up after the third try. I knew it was a lost cause when I saw her trend of hooking up and leading on guys to ultimately destroy their hope. She came to college with all intentions to fuck, not to love.

"Excuse me?!" She gasps "I-I don't care, I just.. she's not your type!" She was desperately trying to find something wrong with her to point out.

"She's so grundgey and her social interactions are clearly lacking." Tori keeps rambling on while I start to pick up my music and remove my USB drive before zipping up my backpack. "Hey, where do you think you're going?! We still need to finish practicing!" Tori raises her hands in confusion.

"I cant practice now, you're being a bitch." I clench my jaw as I look down at her. I don't get angry, ever. I get annoyed and I get impatient sometime, but never angry. But with everything Tori is doing, acting and saying.. I can just feel my heart rate quickening. My skin flushing from my blood boiling. I'm easy to read and she knows to back away. Tori silences and picks up her bag with dramatics. She looks up at me for a second.

"Text me when you want to meet up again." And she walks out. I exhale not realizing I was holding my breath. I sat back down on the stool and put my face into my hands. I rub my callused fingers down my face and settle them on my chin. I lean into them. I can feel the stubble from lack of shaving.

Why did I lie to her? I knew if I gave it back to her, I would never see her again. This is fucked up, but this is the only way. She's tough and resilient and doesn't give a shit about anyone. But oddly, I yearn for her to give a shit about me. She said she would be here next Friday. But how can I wait an entire week without seeing her, without talking to her? I need to find a way to just talk to her. I look up and spring to my feet. She couldn't have gotten far, she might be right outside this building. I can say I just found it while packing up. Yeah, go-go-go!

I swing the door open and wrap the corner and see the sunlight cascading through the glass entryway.

The numerous flyers tacked to the walls fly up from the wind I'm billowing behind me.

I reach the doors and push through with a bang that echos in the building.

I squint from the September sun and bring my hand to my brow in hopes to block it. My lips part to bring in the summer air to fill my quickening lungs. I look left, I look right. Beads of sweat start to drip down my temples. I blink and focus on the distance. That's when I see her dark brown waves bouncing as she walks. I head towards her. I'm drawn to her. To her distance with people. I want to be the one she confines in. The one she released her sadness to. The one to make music with.

She heads towards the parking lot between the dorm buildings. She walks down the sidewalk tunneled through birch trees. I keep enough space so she doesn't notice me following her. I don't know what I'm going to say if she turns around and finds me. But I just keep following here. She must live off campus and parks here.

She keeps walking. Each stride is confident, her muscles slightly peak through her smooth legs. I can tell she doesn't lift but her body looks healthy. A natural glow to it.

My thoughts completely over take me and I don't notice that we've walked past both parking lots and are heading straight towards the woods. Why is she venturing into the woods alone? Granted it's light out but still, she shouldn't be here alone. Crack. I halt in panic and my eyes widen. I look down at the lone stick I stepped on. Really? This entire open field and I step on this loud ass stick!? She whips around startled by the noise. A small whimper escapes her supple lips. I begin to clear my throat in attempts to make this not look as bad as it does. But she reacts first and squares her shoulders in front of me, preparing for something.

"Are you stalking me?" She speaks with assertiveness.

I raise my hands up in surrender. "No-no-no-no, I just saw you walking and wanted to catch up with you." Half-truth.

"So you waited for a stick to speak before yourself?" Her left eyebrow raises in confusion.

HA, that was funny.

"Why are you heading for the woods?" A question with a question.

"Really? A question with a question?" Did she just read my fucking mind!?

I smile and look down at the grass. It looks like it hasn't been cut this week and still has droplets from the sprinklers this morning. "I don't want to lie, but I want to get to know you." I look into those brown eyes. The green in her eyes brighten in the afternoon light. She shifts and adjusts her backpack.

"You don't want to get to know me." She says deflating herself as if the weight of all her problems are sitting on her shoulders.

"And whys that?" Just keep asking questions. She hasn't ran away from me yet. Oh, just kidding, she's walking away.

I quickly jog up to her. She keeps looking forward towards the woods. "Can you just leave me alone." She whispers.

My heart pulls, why is she trying so hard to push me away?

"Hey hey hey." I gently rest my hand on her shoulder to slow her down. She's letting me turn her to face me. I reach for her chin and gently encourage her to look up at me. Her skin is soft. I hope my hands aren't too rough.

She looks up at me with her eyes glossed over. I know she won't cry, she's too strong for that. I cup her cheek into my left hand and I graze my thumb over a small freckle just below her eye. She hasn't flinched at my touch. She hasn't pulled away. She's letting me in, I think.

"Let's just keep walking." I ask with a nod.

She nods back and turns to continue her hike. I don't hesitate to follow.

We start on a dirt covered man-made trail. I bet the track team uses this for long distance training. I stay light on my feet because of the uneven terrain. Last thing I need is rolling my ankle and losing my starting spot on the soccer team. Coach would be piiiiiissed! Remi has made this walk a thousand times. She moves to muscle memory. She knows when to pivot, when to duck under branches. I try to keep up with her, then she slows down. She walks off the trail and heads deeper into the trees. I look back and try to find some sort of landmark to find our way back. I look forward and she's gone. Oh fuck!

"Remi!" I start to panic. Where did she go?

"Over here!" I hear her voice and walk towards it. Vines blow in the wind in front of me. I bring my arm up and push the vines to the side and walk into the most peaceful surroundings I've ever seen. I see Remi standing next this towering Willow tree. The vines that enclose us are the willows leaves. They rustle in the wind and sway delicately in an entrancing dance. Remi looks up at the tree. She closes her eyes and breathes in. She's feeling. She's feeling the wind and the warmth. She's being.. vulnerable. Without noticing, I walk towards her and stand next to her without a word. I close my eyes and breathe. I want to feel what she's feeling. I want to show my vulnerability to her, to show her she's not alone.