Alone Awaken

Chapter 21: Remi

I hear the door close shut behind me and I wrap my arms around my body, sinking into Colton's jacket. It feels so good to just be in his jacket. Is that weird? Whatever, I don't care and I shrug off the thought.

"You seem happy?" I hear from the residence desk. I quickly snap out of my thoughts and look at the desk. Blonde blue-eyed boy, Nick.

"Oh hey Nick." I turn and walk up to the desk. He's more casual than his usual attire. He's wearing a black hoodie with jeans. That's normal for me but for Nick, that's actually really casual. He's always wearing polos. Literally, everyday. I've never met anyone with that much variety in polos, but everyone has their own style. So seeing Nick in this state, slightly alarms me. I will say, the black contrasts against his blue eyes making them look more like ice. He looks kind of hot. Uh, ew, it's Nick, he's your RA. "You ok?" I'm trying to avoid my own thoughts now.

"Me? Yeah, feeling great today actually." He leans back in his chair, waiting for the conversation to continue.

I lean against the desk and see a bunch of papers in front of Nick. He sees me looking at them, then quickly shuffles them and closes the folder they were in. He clears his throat. "Hey, are you doing anything tonight? I get off in a couple minutes and I have a case of cup-a-noodles with our names on it." Nick has a big grin on his face, as if he thinks I'm going to say yes. This is uncomfortable.

"Uh.. thanks for the offer, but I'm going to get to bed." I back away trying to leave the conversation. Nick stands up in response.

"Wait-wait, what about breakfast? I can meet you down here at like, nine?"

He looks somewhat.. desperate? Nick's never acted this way to me before. He's never asked me to breakfast either or to eat noodles. I'm feeling slightly uneasy and I just have to turn and leave. He never follows me when I do that.

"No, sorry." I turn and head towards the stairs.

"Rem, hold up." I hear Nick call from behind me. I freeze in panic. What the fuck is happening? Nick appears in front of me. "Why not? And what are you wearing? You never wear color." Uh, rude much? My eyes form into thin slits as I stare at Nick.

"Uhm, yeahhhhh, I'm going to leave now." I maneuver around him and reach for the stair doors.

"No-no-no that's not what I meant, I mean kind of but no, I just have ever seen you wear that jacket before." Nick sounds like a babbling idiot behind me. I roll my eyes to myself. I turn around to face him.

"It's Colton's, I'm wearing it to his game tomorrow. That's why I can't get breakfast with you." I cross my arms in front of me.

"Oh, well in that case, I'll just watch the game with you and we can get an early lunch instead!" Does this kid not get the hint?

"I don't think Colton will like that!" I blurt out in desperation. I look down at my boots. Why is Nick making me so uncomfortable? I sigh. "He's my boyfriend and-"

"What?!" Nick belts out. I snap my eyes to his. Is he serious?!

"What is wrong with you?!" I ball my fists to my sides. "You're acting like someone you're not and I don't like it! You're usually so nice. Did you fail a class or something?" I close my eyes and shake my head. Why am I giving him excuses. No "No.. no. It doesn't matter. Nick please just.. leave me alone." I turn and push the stair doors open and don't look back.

I make it to my dorm room and fumble getting my keys from Colton's jacket. They slip from my hands and drop by my feet. I look up at the ceiling. Whyyyyyy. I bend down in acceptance that my night went from amazing to annoying because of Nick. I grab my keys and let myself in my room. I toss the keys on my sink counter and see myself in the mirror. I don't recognize myself engulfed in this letterman-style jacket. The royal blue makes my skin look cooler and my hair look almost black. I honestly forgot how wearing color can compliment you in so many different ways. How it brings out different parts of you without even trying.

I walk towards the mirror and stand there staring. Not really thinking of anything, but admiring myself. Wait, what? Why am I doing this. I'm being completely self-centered.

I step away from the mirror and look away. I pull my wallet and phone out of the other pocket and place them on my desk. I look at my phone screen and it's almost ten.

I quickly unlock my phone and set an alarm for 8am. That should give me plenty of time to snooze it eight times before I need to get up.

I hook my phone up to the charger and I start getting ready for bed. When I get back from the shower I see my phone light up with a notification. Who's texting me?

I grab my phone while holding my towel up with my forearm.

Colton: txt msg

Shouldn't Colton be in bed by now? He said it himself, he needed to sleep before his "big game." I used air quotes in my head.

I roll my eyes at him and swipe the message open. It's a video. I squint to make out what it is before I actually tap on it. All I see are hands and a keyboard. Oh shit. It's Colton, playing.

I eagerly click on the video. The small video expands the width of my phone and I quickly turn the volume up on my phone.

Colton starts playing immediately without any introduction. The melody is soft and romantic but upbeat at the same time . It sounds almost familiar. I know this song, why can't I figure this out. Then suddenly Colton starts singing the chorus.

Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn
To love yourself
Girl let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid, girl let me help
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn
To love yourself
Girl let me love you
A heart of numbness, get brought to life
I'll take you there

He slowed down the tempo on the last chorus line and ended the video there. It was the most thoughtful thing that's ever been done for me. He sang for me and remixed an upbeat Ne-yo song, into something poetic through his music. The man is more talented than I thought. What's crazier than his talent, is the song he chose. I honestly never thought about the lyrics until Colton sang them to me. It's literally about me. And he's telling me to let him love me, even when I'm not sure I can love myself yet. How can this human be so remarkable? And how is he mine? He has brought me back to life. My heart is no longer numb.

This feeling in my stomach starts to form. Butterflies I'm assuming, at least that's what I hear the expression is. This is what it must feel like. I feel warm from the inside out. And out of nowhere, a tear falls from my eye. I reach for it instantly wiping my cheek and holding my fingers out so I can see the tear. I rub my fingers together to make sure it's real. My tears have always been for sadness. I've never cried for love... love? Fuck, I think I love Colton.

I stand in the middle of my dorm room, still wrapped in my bath towel. Hair wet, sticking to my shoulders. I can feel the droplets cascading down my back. I tilt my head back and close my eyes. This is the moment I realize I'm in love? I smile and give myself a small laugh.

Honestly.. I wouldn't change it in any way.