Alone Awaken

Chapter 11: Remi

I take a deep breath and open my door while exhaling. The whole idea of coming to a party is terrifying to me. I haven't been to a party like this, since I was 17. The night I lost him forever. I swore to myself from that day forward I would never drink, that I would never let myself be controlled by a substance again. I had the control.

The real kicker of this situation, is how Colton's on the soccer team. The similarities between him and Colton are uncanny. Colton may be stronger and more carefree with a passion for music. But I can't help feel that this path I'm on with Colton, isn't melting away my past anymore, but defrosting it. Bringing back what I hoped to keep berried for the rest of my life. I have loved and lost at such a young age, and it effected me.

I can't blame Colton for trying. He doesn't know anything about me, we just met. I know that if I told him everything, he would never have brought me here. But like I said before, I can't jump into my past just like that.

I step out of the car and notice that the crowd is more intense being in it, then looking in. A completely different atmosphere than on campus. Girls are clustered together whispering what I'm sure is nothing but judgmental comments about other girls. I roll my eyes at them. Guys are yelling at each other from across the yard with drinks in their hand and a frisbee in the other. Kan-jam. The game seems pretty serious with the amount of cheering that occurs after each missed slot. I look up at the porch and the railings are covered in equal amounts of empty cans and girls. Did every girl in existence come here? Well it must be true, seeing how I'm here and I'd be the last girl to come. A brunette looks down at me and squints at me. She either forgot her glasses at home or she needs to fart and is trying to hold it in. I'd bet on the fart. I look down and laugh to myself.

"What are you thinking about?" Colton asks while raising the trunk hatch.

"Oh nothing, just trying to gage the crowd." Half true.

I lean against the car and wrap my arms around my waste.

"Uh, huh." Colton smiles at me. He leans down and pulls out the first keg. His muscles tighten under his shirt with every movement. God, I could lick every inch of him.

"You like what you see?" Colton says when he places the keg on the ground. He looks up at me and keeps his gaze while he straightens his back. He stands tall causing his chest to puff out naturally. I know I'm blushing.

"Oh yeah.. Kan-jam looks like fun." I say sarcastically. Colton mouth drops and he starts laughing. He obviously was talking about himself. I laugh along with him.

"Come on, I'll help you carry it." I say while elbowing his side.

"Oh my gosh, you're so sweet!" He says in a girly voice.

I could banter back and forth with him all day.

I grab one side of the keg.

"No no no I'm kidding!" He bats my hand away smiling. "Just get the door for me, please?" He motions his chin up at the porch.

Alright, just keep your eyes toward the door. Don't give anyone a reason to talk to you.

Now that my pep-talk is over with myself, I turn on my heels and walk to the sidewalk. It's uneven and bares every crack. I look back behind me and Colton's right on my heels. I turn forward and make my way up the porch steps. My boots echo with a thud against the old wood. I reach for the door and push it open and walk in. A humid haze immediately covers me and I feel sticky. The house smells old with essence of stale beer and cigarillos. The decor is anything but decor. Movie posters, mismatched couches and random chairs that seemed to have been picked up off the side of the road.

"You live here?" I say without thinking.

"Huh, oh yeah. It's dirt cheap and don't judge the cleanliness right now. I swear it's better than this.. five days out of the week." Colton chuckles. "Plus! I have the best room in the house." He keeps moving forward past the staircase to the back of the house. The floors creak and it almost feels like they're bending with our weight. Yup, this is how I die.

The back of the house is part kitchen, part dining room and housing all the alcohol. There's a tiny kiddy pool filled with ice. Colton drops the keg in the ice and wiggles it back and forth, so it stands up in the ice. I turn to start heading back to the car, when I see a tiny blonde leaning against the wall with a drink in her hand and a death glare on her face.

"Tori, hey." Colton says from behind me.

"What is she doing here?" Tori is eyeing me up and down. Clearly intoxicated with liquid courage.

"Oh do you live here?" I respond before Colton.

"No, I-." She starts to say before I cut her off.

"Then why do you think you have the right to question any being here?" I say faster then she can comprehend. "You don't, focus on yourself and stop worrying about others. Girl, bye." I stomp past her before she can get a word in. I hope what I said sinks in and doesn't come at me again.

In high school, Tori and I would probably be best friends. We'd talk behind peoples back together. Make rude comments to random individuals that passed our way. Purposely laugh to make others think we're talking about them, to make them feel uncomfortable. We'd be the ultimate duo. But I'm not that girl anymore and that's the only thing I'm thankful for that night. I saw a different path I had to take and needed to cut ties with all those people. Without them influencing my life, I was able to get into a decent college and work towards helping others in my future career.

"You're really good at running away, coward!" Tori yells from down the hall. I stop dead in my tracks. A coward? Yeah, I run away from people because I choose to be alone, NOT because I'm a coward.

I slowly turn to face her. I stomp towards her with determination, with darkness in my eyes. If this girl wants to play, I'll play.

Tori is not scared, I can tell she enjoys this. I make it up to her within seconds and I'm about to finish her, when Colton steps in between us.

"Remi stop! Tori, What is with you today?!" He's facing towards me but turns his head to Tori when he speaks. I do not need protection from this girl.

"This bitch doesn't belong here!" Tori yells back crossing her arms with her drink still in one hand.

"And who belongs here?! Caddy blondes that are too naive to realize that people are different!?" I scream at Tori. I've never let someone get to me like this since high school. But this girl needs to be set right because I sure as hell know, no one has. "I am not a bitch, I treat people the way they deserve to be treated. YOU were the one who started with me. I didn't get in your way. I was human and zoned out. But because you were late, you had to blame someone else for your mistake. Even if it meant choosing a random girl in that moment!" I start backing away because I realize in that moment that I'm wasting my breath. Tori is just staring at me with a grin. She wanted this reaction and I gave it to her. Fuck. I lower my voice. "I know what kind of person you are Tori.." I narrow my eyes at her. "A judgmental brat that's never had to work for anything in her life. Who thinks that the world revolves around herself. Who takes pleasure in embarrassing others. You will never find happiness and no one will ever respect you. I may choose to be alone, but you.." I look her up and down. "You will always be alone."

I look up at Colton and apologize with my eyes. I turn and walk away not looking back. Just for sheer humor, I throw a peace sign up. "Deuces." And I walk out of that house with no intentions to ever return.