"Clovers and Sunflowers" // Komahina DR fanfiction

Chapter 10: Memories

The next day, I decided to check on Komaeda to see if he had woken up yet. I walked into the hospital and walked to the front desk. "Am I able to check on Nagito Komaeda?" I asked the lady who was sitting there.

"Oh, yeah. He's awake now. Do you want me to lead you there or...?" She asked.

"No, I got it. Thank you!" I said as I walked over to the room.

"You're very welcome!" The lady called out to me as I went.

I walked over to Komaeda's room, and suddenly, without warning, my legs stopped moving the second I stepped up to his door. My arm wouldn't move either to open the door. I felt a rush of nervousness and guilt rush inside of me. He won't remember me... so is it really okay to see him? It's all my fault...

I clenched my fists. I have to be strong and walk in. I opened the door slowly and stepped foot into the room. I saw Komaeda awake, the upper-half of his body up and looking directly at me. He still had bandages wrapped around his head, and it seems they unplugged everything from his body. "K-Komaeda...!" His name barely left my lips. I walked slowly towards him.

"I'm sorry but..." Komaeda tilted his head. "...who are you?"

Without hesitation, I hugged him. Komaeda seemed really confused. I cried into his shoulder. The tears wouldn't stop coming. "..."

"Um... can I help you?" Komaeda asked. Slowly, Komaeda placed his hands on my back as I hugged him. He rubbed his hands on my back, as if to comfort me for something he didn't know happened. It was like he was hugging back, but lightly.

"Komaeda..." I finally breathed out. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I couldn't save you... I'm... useless..."

Komaeda didn't respond. He softly ran his hands down my back. It was a nice silent moment for a few minutes as I continued to cry into his shoulder. "It's... okay." Komaeda finally said, breaking the silence. He seems absolutely clueless... but is also trying to cheer me up in the best way he can.

"I'll try my best to get your memories back... in any way I can. I promise. I'll... make it up to you... and I promise, I'll protect you." I whispered to him.

Komaeda just kept running his hands down my back over and over again. It felt... quite nice, actually... Really nice. We sat like that silently for another two minutes. Eventually, I finally let go and looked him in the eyes. "So...?" Komaeda asked.

"Oh, right. I... forgot to introduce myself. My name is... H-Hajime Hinata..." I reached my right hand out to him and noticed that my hand was shaking. It wouldn't stop. I tried to keep smiling. "And I already know who you are... you're... Nagito Komaeda... and it's your first time meeting me..." Tears began storming down my eyes. I couldn't stop them, so I tried wiping them away with my left arm. Unfortunately, they wouldn't stop coming.

Komaeda reached out his hand as well and held my hand. We mutually shook hands slowly. This was... painful. I... feel like time is doing itself all over again. I feel like I'm stuck in a time loop. I'm... not feeling too well. I remember... when I first met him on the bus... and all of the events leading from then until now. He... forgot all of that. Dang it... it hurts more when I think about it like that. He doesn't know who I am anymore. Tears wouldn't stop coming. I tried to keep a smile on my face. I bet I look freaky. "...but... I already met you. And I'm going to do it again. And please... don't forget me." I said to him as more tears streamed down my face.

"I won't..." He responded.

There was an awkward silence, until I decided to break it as I wiped my face again. "So... when do you think you'll be discharged?"

"When my head wound is almost fully recovered. I... don't even remember how it happened in the first place... but that was the condition of this wound, wasn't it? And did... you have something to do with it?"

"No... of course not...!" I hugged him again. "I would never... I'm just... ashamed that I couldn't save you. You... don't remember anything or who I am... right?" And when he nodded, I continued, "Y-yep... you... lost your memories... your head didn't take it very kindly... when you fell from that building... and... you don't even remember me... and everything we did together..." Tears began slowly running down my face again. I... can't control it. Dammit...! Why am I so weak?!

"Oh," was his only response.

I let go of him. "I'll come and check on you after a few days. That should be around when you get discharged, right?"

"Yeah, just about."

"Alright then." I wiped my face with my arm a third time. I walked towards the exit and turned to look back at Komaeda. "So... see you later?"

"Mhm." He responded with a smile. I smiled back and left the room. I made sure to shut the door. I walked out of the hospital and looked up at the sky. Why... am I so upset about this? The answer should be easy, right? Because he's a friend of mine. But... that didn't seem right somehow. I think there's more to it. But... I don't understand it.

I realized... there's something I have to do. Something I feel really guilty for... and I have to redeem myself for it. I have to. I... made another mistake as well.

I ran as fast as I could. I have the address! I can make it. The quicker, the better. Eventually, I reached the house. I rang the doorbell.

It took a few seconds, but finally, the person I needed opened the door to see who was at their doorstep.