YOUR POV
It's been three hours since we got here and Pa has been taken for even more tests. Scott has bought Winnie with him to visit and Amelia is still with me, sitting rather close may I add. She's asleep on my lap, I'm too worried to sleep but that doesn't mean I can't help her sleep by running my fingers through her hair.
- Tim : What is she to you?
- y/n : She's my friend
- Tim : Friends don't look at friends that way. The way she looks at you is the same way I look at your father
- y/n : Dad-
- Tim : I'm not making assumptions but if you were to date a girl, I'd hope she'd look at you like Amelia does
How do you come out to your Dad when you don't know if you're gay or just lonely? Right I think I like girls but I don't want the whole world to know, yet.
- y/n : Dad, how'd you know you liked Pa?
- Tim : I found myself thinking about him then anyone else. I was working in the UK at the time and your father was my boss. I found myself looking at him longer then I should and imaging myself sleeping next to him
- y/n : Right
- Tim : You should let yourself fall in love with her. She seems sweet and she obviously cares about you
- y/n : Okay I'm not talking about this with you. I don't even know what I'm doing. I need to think about Winnie
- Tim : I'll support whatever choice you make honey
Being close to Amelia like this feels different, good different. I feel safe to talk about anything and she's not even awake.
- Amelia : Mhm
- y/n : Morning sleeping beauty
- Amelia : Oh god I didn't mean to fall asleep
- y/n : It's fine. I didn't want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful
- Amelia : How's your Pa?
- y/n : Getting more extensive tests as we speak. Winnie and Scott will be here any second
- Winnie : Mom!
- y/n : Good to know she isn't mad at me at the minute. Hello bug. How did you sleep?
- Winnie : I had a nightmare so me and Uncle Scott watched a film until Auntie Chloe woke up and got angry at Uncle Scott for keeping me awake at 4am
I don't mind, Winnie doesn't have school and she had a nightmare. It's best to distract her and then try to get her to sleep again. She knows it's not a regular things because she only gets it when she has nightmares.
- y/n : Where's Chloe?
- Chloe : Here. Needed a pee. Where's Ernie?
- Ernie : Hello dear. Who started the party without me?
- Teddy : Jones?
- y/n : Yeah
- Teddy : Can we talk, outside?
This is never great. I've done the outside conversation many times.
- Teddy : Alright, your father has managed to catch his breath but while I was asking him some questions earlier he admitted to having coughed up blood for the past few months and having lost a lot of weight.
- y/n : Right
- Teddy : The first set of tests were inconclusive so we performed more. Your father is suffering with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. I'm going to walk you through it, okay?
- y/n : Mhm
- Teddy : Your fathers body does not produce enough red blood cells, platelets and certain types of white blood cells. I have notified Oncology and they'll be on their way down soon to discuss treatment options. I'm sorry Jones
Pa's ill. I knew it was coming. He never got sick the whole of my childhood. He never complained of a headache or a cold but hearing that he was on his way to hospital made me realise I don't have long with my Pa. Even if he beats the cancer he doesn't have long. He's 75. Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy would zap everything out of him. It would reduce him to a lifeless man who sleeps all day. That's not my Pa. Is that better then the alternative of possibly loosing my Pa sooner?
- Tim : What is it honey? Did the doctor tell you?
- y/n : Erm yeah. I don't think Winnie should hear this when the rest of you do
- Amelia : Want me to take her on a walk?
- y/n : Please
- Winnie : Can we get candy?
- Amelia : Sure, let's go. Text me when you want us back
I couldn't care that she kissed my cheek in front of my family. I'm still processing this.
- Scott : What's Pa got? The flu? Pneumonia?
- y/n : Cancer
- Chloe : What?
- y/n : Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. Pa's got blood cancer
- Scott : What can they do? Chemo?
- y/n : Oncology are on their way
- Scott : Fuck
- Chloe : Babe-
- Scott : I'm going on a walk
I can't face my Dad. I already know he's heart broken. Pa is the love of his life and now he's sick and Dad can't do anything. None of us can. We're supposed to take care of our parents when they get old, make them comfortable. How do I comfort a man who's dying and a man who's going to lose the love of his life?
- Chloe : I should follow him
- y/n : Dad, I-
- Tim : Be quiet Y/n
- Ernie : It's not her fault Tim
- Tim : No, it is. I thought when we got a doctor in the family we wouldn't go through any losses or near misses. After Lewis I swore I wouldn't loose any of you. Now look, Winnie was rushed in here, you're in here. Y/n is useless. She can't even spot illness. It's her fault we lost our boy
- Ernie : Tim!
- y/n : He's right Pa, it's my fault
- Ernie : Go and think about what you said Tim. Think about what you said to our little girl
It's my fault. I'm the reason Lewis died, the reason Winnie needed surgery and the reason why my Pa is sick.
Authors Note
Have a drink and a
snack please
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