YOUR POV
It's been 4 days since Pa was diagnosed and I've basically shut down. Winnie is still at Jack's and if it's okay with her I'd rather she stay there. I keep getting reoccurring nightmares of the day I found Lewis and the call about Winnie getting rushed to hospital and when my Pa dies.
- Chloe : Hey. Wake up. You were having another nightmare
- y/n : Sorry
- Chloe : Talk to me. Please. I can't wake up to you screaming again
- y/n : There's nothing wrong. I just can't sleep well
- Chloe : You're allowed to not be okay. You're Pa is ill
- y/n : I'm fine
- Scott : Hm?
- y/n : Sorry for waking you up
The only person I talk to is Amelia and even still she doesn't know I can't sleep well. I haven't slept round there and she hasn't slept here. It solves a problem. Today I'm supposed to move the rest of my stuff out the house.
- Jack : You have a key. You don't have to knock
- y/n : It's your house. Here's your key
- Winnie : MOM!
- y/n : Hey bug
- Winnie : Is grandpa better?
- y/n : Let's sit down, yeah bug
It's difficult as a kid to understand that one minute someone is there and the next they're going to be gone.
- y/n : Grandpa isn't going to get better
- Winnie : Why?
- y/n : His body is very tired and needs to go to sleep
- Winnie : I don't want Grandpa to die
- y/n : Me neither bug but Grandpa won't be ill anymore
- Winnie : We'll get to see him again one day, right?
- y/n : Yeah. When you're super old and have your own grand babies
I want my Pa. I want him to hold me like he would when I was a kid. Things felt so effortless then.
- Jack : Go get your stuff ready for dance Winnie
- Winnie : Okay Dad
- Jack : Are you okay? You look tired
- y/n : My father is dying, how 'okay' can I be?
- Jack : You know you can talk to me?
- y/n : I don't want to talk
I want to cry and scream and just be sad for a minute but I can't. I don't deserve to be sad because it's my fault he's ill. Because I can't be sad I'm going to work my ass off.
- Amelia : Hey
- y/n : Hey
- Amelia : I've missed you
- y/n : Sorry, I've been dealing with a lot
- Amelia : It's fine. Can I sit?
- y/n : Sure
It's awkward. Even though I've spoken to her over the past 4 days it's different.
- y/n : What's up-
- Amelia : IwentouttodinnerwithLink
- y/n : Right
- Amelia : You're not mad?
- y/n : We aren't dating, I can't get mad
- Amelia : Oh, right
- y/n : Go on another date with him if you want. He's the father of your child
- Amelia : Where's this come from? 4 days ago you were letting me hold you while you cried and I was the person you could be close to and now you're telling me to go on dates with someone else
- y/n : You already went on one date, I'm just telling you to go on more
What am I doing? I thought I was fighting for her.
- y/n : I've got to go. I'm only working half a shift so I can go out with Pa instead
- Lexie : Hey
- y/n : Thank you for covering my shift. I owe you
- Amelia : Y/n-
- y/n : Go on dates Amelia. I don't care
I do care. I care a lot. She should be going on dates with me.
- Amelia : Okay then. Maybe I will
- Lexie : Erm
- y/n : Thank you so much. I'll see you on Sunday?
- Lexie : Yeah
There's a party on Sunday, Callie and Arizona's 15th anniversary. They didn't want a party by Mark insisted. Me and Winnie are going.
- Ernie : Hello darling
- y/n : Hey Pa. Does Dad know we're going out?
- Ernie : No, he still thinks you're at fault for me getting ill. I know you're not
- y/n : Oh
- Ernie : Are you ready for our walk? Where are we going today?
- y/n : Do you want to go see Lewis? It's up to you
- Ernie : Let's walk by. I'll think about it
I won't pressure him to see Lewis. I wouldn't pressure anyone to see their relatives grave, it's a hard thing to do.
- Ernie : When I go, I want you to have my chain. I'd give you my wedding ring but you have smaller hands then me, I'll give that to your brother.
- y/n : Pa-
- Ernie : These things need to be sorted out honey. It's better if it's done now instead of later when I'm sicker
- y/n : Right
- Ernie : I have a bank account open for each of the children. One for Winnie and one for Scott and Chloe's baby. I want you to divide my money by 5 and share it between those accounts, you, Scott and your father.
- y/n : Okay
- Ernie : I know you want to go on holiday, treat yourself. Go make memories with my beautiful granddaughter and for the love of god, have more. You make beautiful babies and I know that deep down you want more
I want my Pa to never die and be around forever. I don't want to lose him.
- Ernie : Tell me about this Amelia girl
- y/n : I think I fucked that up
- Ernie : Language dear. How so?
- y/n : I told her to go on dates with other peoples because she's been on one already
- Ernie : Oh Y/n. What are you like. When you get home you're going to text her and tell her you didn't mean it
I can't do that, she'll probably be on another date with Link.
Authors Note
Have a drink and a
snack please
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