Wanderer Of The Moonlit Night

No Friends ft. Society is Unfair

// Personal Rant Warning: People who have habit of hating/judging/advicing unnecessarily should not read this content as they may get some jam ke khaatirdaari in some haveli (just don't fake Stockholm Syndrome for me pls, coz it will be me sending rats and cockroaches to entertain my judgy guests in a locked room) if they're found doing this here, others can proceed //

I've almost no experience of real friends but I've seen or heard other ppl talking seriously crazy but funny things with their friends and I'm like in a huge craving- oh i too wanna hear someone talk with me like that- oh nops no one wanna befriend me, the ones who wanna they are just so toxic or fake or they don't even try to keep the friendship happy and just act like they're outta this anyways or else they eventually become "I'll abandon u when i get new ppl" types ;-;

Everywhere i see ppl finding new friends having fun, abandoning others for more new, and repeat- most ppl in this world nowadays belong to this category so it gets kinda hard for ppl like me to survive in this world ;-; like it's a personal inner observation (hardly any relatable for other humans so nvm?)

But i really feel it's like the beautiful happiness of having "Friends/Support" is for those who are bad at keeping the same bond going and such a privilege doesn't exist for those who actually value it a lot since ever ;-; they said introverts have less but very genuine friends but if u ask an introvert irl like me, the answer will be this isn't really true at all in all these 20+ years of life, and at a time when i used to be extroverted/ambivert the experience was no different, just that ppl who came across me were more faker and i didn't knew that i should also get some efforts from ppl, as I've not had anyone till my 10th who had shown me any bit of effort in any friendships, after that 3 years+ went all alone almost except a few months of trusting ppl again and again just to see them become toxic after sometime or abandon me... There were ppl online and all but yeah i never felt any kinda "genuine friendship" with these ppl, ik support and all is nice chatting sometimes but yk what, i didn't really felt anything like my importance to them as much as they claim in words, I'm no stupid insane to not be able to understand what's right and what's not right, i can understand too, I've a mind, a heart too which had been excessively hurt, betrayed, truamatized, abused, harassed, abandoned, ragged, bullied, bled by numerous people and even those who were supposed to give me love or care including my parents, failed to do so rather chose to keep their ideals so prior that it ended up leading me to suicide attempt (fucking 7 cuts god it took a lot of effort for someone having fear of sharp things and 200 mg amitriptyline weren't enough  😭) in the past (again there's huge reasons for it, so warning pls do refrain from commenting anything critical here )

Ppl may say many things to console me or whatever but that doesn't changes the fact there's some sort of excessive inequality happening fr yeah and neither will anyone's "Hope-giving 'Everything will be ok" " change the years which "could" have been better yk i don't value past much, it's actually the present that's why I'm saying like this, ppl saying things about future which i don't know make no sense

I nowadays also see some utterly disastrous "noble" attitute among the teens. That they self isolate/hurt and escape from/ break off love or good friendships thinking it is distraction from progress/career or sometimes due to parental-based beliefs ! Remember, your parents were also someone's kid once right, doesn't really makes it eternal that everything they do or say is actually right, yes i agree intentions may be right but effects of their acts, and measures taken by them or u coz of em matter even more than anyone's intention. Ofc someone can have good intentions about giving a milk chocolate to a kid but the kid gets allergy coz of it. What matters then? Just intentions coz they're wanting good doesn't means it's actually doing the same. Sometimes u need to grow out of ur blood-biased entrappment zones and think what's right what's wrong outside the POV of an emotionally swayed person and let ur brain as well as heart decide what's right, not what others say. (Also, I'm disgusted by ppl who are blood biased to an extent where they hate themselves coz of others or family and yet not agree to come out of it and understand what's right, seriously,pls these ppl piss me off and they're like feeling guilty yet they wud choose something their parents told when he/she don't want it ,

I've seen a lot of ppl abandon their genuinely supportive friends/love just coz their parents disliked it or manipulated them to think it's against one's career, including in my life I've been betrayed by many such papa ki chipkali types paris and I must say be aware to not be around such ppl much XD one day they gonna kill u if their parents don't like u or something. Seriously, i still can't relate to these 15-20 y/o robotic morons in India like why can't u at least think a bit before following one's orders?!!!! Be a bit less stupid bitches!! It ain't so hard to start being sane ;-; i wish u good luck if your  tongue is still stuck in a garbage dumpard, pls just forget everything about systems and rules, and start thinking everything from a free and open bold mind.

Remember whenever u forget or abandon someone, he/she may really be in ur need if they show non-toxic constant efforts, never ever forget em no matter how boring they may sound to u, sometimes ppl leave away small diamonds for getting a boulder of shiny crap cystals which would still be less precious than that small diamond.

Oh and for ppl like me or anyone suffering thru problems we can't really fix ourselves yet (and yes a mature person can't deny that self love isn't ever gonna fill up ur emptied heart entirely, it's still gonna be empty and void there, sometimes ppl should just spread love/support instead of msgs about self love that wud be the true cure than a precautive measure for this disease of loneliness. Most ppl think precautive measures like self love is the ideal solution, sometimes long isolation/making walls out of merely thoughts and worries about trusting, but eventually the truth wud always be that a better happier world can be reality if and only if ppl started loving others around them and valuing the love u get as well)

All we need to do is to just blame everything to the society and move on, we all know how fucked up this society is afterall hehe ~ (a pro tip from my personal modern world survival hackbook inside my brain's library. I'm thinking of publishing more of it in Wattpad officially too)

I thought of abbreviating "I'm Alone" as usual with a personal crazy touch XD

So i made this:

Imagine
Meeting

A cutie
Like me
On a rainy
Night
Exclusively XD