Wanderer Of The Moonlit Night

society is a scam

// Mature; very personal and sensitive rant, READ PREVIOUS PART ND THE "SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH" PART BEFORE READING THIS as i don't ppl to make mistakes of shitting here again, if they didn't see that they'll surely do; and no judgement pls. Narrow minded shitasses not allowed here //

Ok u r being too hurried -

You'll feel like it doesn't makes any sense so get it in ur head, will ye?!

Go back now, don't read this unless you've read previous parts ! As some stuffs u may misjudge here if u don't know the prev things I've ranted (only for the personal life based rant parts )

Ok if u really so resilient to read this, better read till the end. It wud make no sense to read someone's rant half half if u really wanted to read it. (Around 7K words- so read only when u free!?)

8 Sept, 2022

I'll be utterly honest with my observations, and pls don't mind me whatever im gonna write below is completely the unfiltered reality ppl didn't think about or don't wanna accept either.

Why do ppl always be like consider someone's pain is nothing especially at my home and even wattpad, irl ppl are all fucked up, literally every single person who had talked with me these days have made me feel like they don't understand me at all, neither have any bit of empathy coz like i mentioned in that suicide prevention part, how much it's triggering to someone who's been hurt in past to get their sentiments invalidated yet ppl put a huge question mark on every emotion i feel, not letting me even express muself properly and going on with their agenda "You can dm me anytime I'll support u, i won't judge" seriously do u guys don't even know what judging means that u judge also invalidate feelings also, ignore also, forcibly lecture also and advice when not needed and then act like so noble non-judgy beings ?!

Seriously why do ppl ask dumb questions to me it feel so harrasive in some way due to my past traumas like if i said I'm unwell they'll ask a million questions, act so panicked, I'll be forced to explain them everything they don't even wanna just validate anything (Asking too much itself makes someone feel u don't trust in our understanding, and make us feel like u r invalidating us, ending up we getting more insecure to open up to u) and if i say something against their behaviour they'll hurried call me overreactive or rude or consider that. Seriously-

I hate how everyone's like "How r u?"
, Me "Sad" , then they'll not even try to find something like I've already ranted a minute ago something and they be like they didn't even have time to check the rant out and already started asking me hundreds of questions, at that point of time it feels a huge irritation they don't even understand how much insecure i end up feeling coz of them. I hate being asked serious questions too much it makes me feel uncomfortable-

Like why, bruh why? Even after knowing what's wrong what's right can't ppl have a fucking bit of sanity to stop being so dumb? Like they're seeing me being suicidal yet they be asking "Are you ok?" It's just like a plane crashed and you're asking the dead body of pilot "Hey, did your plane land safely?" It feels like you ppl making fun of someone's burdens. Can't u fucking sometimes get a non-shitty brain for a while and say something better than repetitive things n questions which make no sense at all?! Don't mind me, but I'm seriously seriously done with these teens here over wattpad. Other than a few good souls like tripti, mansa, kuffee, sanjh (who's not even here anymore), i don't think anyone else even tries to think before saying something triggering to me when we're talking- why bruh-?! Whyy!! >< Meow is feeling so low..

See i don't wanna hate anyone or hold grudges but when these things constantly happen, it's not like I'll act I'm fine. and how easily sme ppl come and shit to me saying I'm easily affected by others and i shud love myself oh fuck ur ass u stupid bitch who gets self hatred every 2 secinds, I've no interest in hating myself or not loving, it's just when u keep hitting someone's wound again and again, no matter how much self love, triggering traumas have nothing to do with someone's endurance or mentality yk. Stop believing in ur shitty motivators and society, it doesn't itself knows the right thing always. You can't become a puppet of societal views when most of em are just judging and comparing, makes no sense yet ppl keep doing it idky.