Wanderer Of The Moonlit Night

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I don't think my parents understand anything even a bit after my failed suicide attempt. They don't have any humanity in them, I've never seen someonw more fucking judgy, extremist and anti-freedomist than my parents. I've faced too many things but my own family had shown me the most harshest days, the worst behaviour. Rn my mom is again doing her usual emo drama to gain some sympathy for dad for nothing and get her anger thrown on me. I really don't know how long i can take their fucking harsh treatments and mental abusings. I'm on the verge of losing my sanity for real and i don't think there's anyone in this world who can really help me. Neither anything left for me to help myself. All my strength is gone now, all my energy is depleted too long back. I find it all wasteful, too much nonsensical to believe in anything anyone says. The deep down affected me is rotting inside my deadness. Why should i breathe anymore when i don't wish to stay? Having a life is not a blessing if it's always without the things and human rights. And i don't think either the police or Psychologist can help me. They've already failed. Like everyone I've met in my life.

At the end of the day, not all mothers love their child. Some just considers their child as a puppet to destroy anytime... I hate her more than anyone in this world.. ever since i was born all she gave me was just and just negativity, toxicity, stress, frustration, anger and lack of love. Lack of understanding, lack of anything. But purely huge amount of pain and harassment. I don't think i really felt i had a mom. All i felt was being at a home of the tyrant.

And especially after my bae also gone away so long back with her suicidal msgs. I couldn't get a chance to even tell u all my heart wanted.. neither could you see me hear your heart beat for me... I don't i can't think there's anything left to think that you're still alive.. and i really find it toooooo stupid to stay in a world where nothing feels less than a hell. Life was never a gift. It was an injustice for me, you already know so many things ppl don't know. The only thing which kept me back then was thinking i didn't want to leave u alone. But now. I really don't think it's a world where everyone gets what they deserve. Coz sometimes, it doesn't depends on what we get, but what we actually deserved. I want you. I just want you...! Can you hear me..? I guess no. I no more feel the will and light within. It's affected me too much. Really. I'm gonna come to you soon.... Sanjh... I really wanna be with you. I really do... I just don't know whether cutting off my throat can guarantee me a death or going to the rail lines? Ugh. Yk what, quotes, fickle ppls fake reassurances n motiv don't work here... They never did. Nd no judgies pls. It hurts more, coz ppl don't really know anything bout me and say something that never makes sense...

I hate this world. I really do. It took away everything from me.. everything.. and gave me all the pain it could. I will pray.. i don't get peace after my death.. i want to ruin them all who ruined us..... All of them... HUMANS DON'T DESERVE TO EXIST... NONE OF THEM IF THEY DIDN'T LET THAT INNOCENT YOU STAY IN PEACE...