Excessive (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 62.

I never knew how hard it was to leave. To get up and walk away and pretend that whatever it was I just left is gone and that I'm fine with it. It's hard to grasp, hard to think about and hard to process, but that isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is watching the opposing side crumble beneath you, knowing that you are ruining an even more broken cause. It's hard to walk away, especially when you have become so attached.

Harry's face still haunts a terrifying picture in my memory, one that will burn in my brain until I die. The way his green eyes formed into something you've only ever heard of in novels ran shivers throughout my entire body and I never wish that feeling on any person in this world. It was as if a heavy boulder had been pressing on my body since I walked out and I couldn't shake that feeling away.

Luchesi's car didn't impress me the way it should have. The more than extravagant car would look like pure gold in many eyes, but it reminded me of him. It reminded me of how much he loved all of his cars, no matter how much he tried to deny it. He paints some in his art room, the ones that he seemed to take more care towards were littered all over the floor in a heap of colors and pain.

The two hours of driving was complete silence. The sounds of honking and yelling from outside the car were the few noises littered in the stuffy car space. Neither of us brought ourselves to mutter a single word. The silence was deafening and thick, not awkward but definitely not pleasant. We were both aware of the silence but refused to acknowledge it which only made it worse.

We both knew that once we started talking it won't end until we get to wherever he is taking us. Although I want to know what it is that made and makes Harry who he is, there is a small part of me that is too afraid to figure it out. He's a tough man and I could only imagine how he ever got that way. The thought of hearing about his childhood from one of the main sources of it was scarier than knowing it happened.

"We can sit like this for hours, it still won't change what you are going to know the next time you see him" he said not taking his eyes off the road.

I turned my head towards him as he drove with one hand and rested the other on the edge of the window. "I know" I meekly responded sitting up a bit to let him know to begin.

"I wish this was one of those situations where I can say, 'he wasn't always this way', but it's not. He's the spitting image of his father as much as I hate it"

"You said that's not the real him" I fired back. "You said that isn't who he really is"

"No the man that was in there today was not the really him, that man saying whatever is that made you walk out of there is not the real him. The real him is harsh and cold, but he still knows how to feel emotion" he said making me furrow my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"How did you get Harry to tell you about me?" he asked making me look down and blush.

"I uhm- asked?" I replied more like a question than a statement. He looked over quick enough to catch the blush across my cheeks before I could hide it.

"Something dirty, huh? You seduced my little brother into telling you information. No wonder why you two get along so well" he said making me reach over and slap him on the arm, playfully.

"No I did not! We kissed and he walked me into the art room, there was no seducing or anything dirty, just a kiss!" I said with a smile breaking across my lips. He's cheeky like his brother.

"No way do I ever believe that my brother was roped into giving you information like that from a kiss" he said shaking his head and chuckling slightly.

"That's exactly what happened! Nothing more, I promise!" I said trying my hardest not to laugh.

"Whatever" he said rolling his eyes. "Don't you think it's odd that a man who could, no offense, get any women in world, keeps coming back to someone who will never do any of the things he wants" he said with raised eyebrows.