Excessive (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 39.

I nervously bit my lip and pushed back as far as I could into the pillows. Nothing would come out of being a cowards, but what choice did I have. I was in the wrong and he was mad the outcome of this could not be good if I continue, but I couldn't help it, he scares me.

He walked right in front of me bed and put one knee on it before hoisting himself up and kneeling at the bottom while I scooted as close to the top as I could. He growled and crawled forward taunting me with his dark green eyes. In any other situation I would find his actions attractive and hot even, but not now, not now knowing he was about to yell.

"Stop defying me" he growled crawling to the middle of my bed and leaving about two feet in between us.

"I'm not, I'm scared" I replied hearing my breathing go erratic at how close he was to me.

"You're always scared" he comments making me want to role my eyes. Maybe if you didn't taunt me so much I would be scared all the time.

"You're going to hurt me" I said making his movements cease and his head snap up to look at me. He sat up on his heals and looked at me with shock.

"Is that what you think I'm intending on... hurting you?" he asked as if he was shocked.

I looked at him with my jaw open in shock. What is he talking about, that's the point of his 'punishments', to hurt me and get into my head that he is better than me. That's the reason he does it, to show his authority and the power he has, he knows he's strong and intimidating and he uses that to his full advantage.

"That's what your punishments are for" I stated as if it was the truth. Is it really?

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his index and thumb finger. He shook his head before removing his fingers from his nose and sliding them through his knotted curls. Does he ever brush those things out? They always seem tangled into each other, but he still manages to pull the look off.

"Hurting is not what I intend on doing, Ara" he states calmly as he breaths in and out of his mouth slowly.

"Seems like it" I mutter as his face held an emotion I couldn't figure out. Sadness? Regret?

"The point of a spanking is not to hurt you, it is to discipline you and teach you wrong from right" he said sounding like a scolding parent. "They're going to hurt Ara, I'm a strong man and you are a fragile girl. It's inevitable"

"Why do you do it if you know it hurts me?" I asked making him quirk a brow at me.

"Becuase, you know the feeling of pain and embarrassment and it makes you think of your consequences before you act out, its a disciplinary technique, Arabella" he said biting his lip.

All I could do was nod and rest my chin on the top of my propped up knees. I didn't feel like talking anymore all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and fall asleep for the rest of my life or until Seth and Elliot come to save me. Which from the way that this arrangement in Europe is going will not be anytime soon.

Harry crawled forward a little but this time I let him do so. I'm so over going back and forth with him and it has definitely taken its toll on me physically and mentally. There comes times during the day I think about just braking one of the windows of the living room and running, but I know he will get me, he always does.

"I'm sorry if you don't like it, but its all I know, its all I ever knew" he said making my chin rise from my knees and my eyebrows to raise.

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly as his body slowly inches closer to mine.

"That's all I ever knew what to do in times of disobedience, that's all that I was taught when I was a kid" he said slowly making my jaw drop. I never thought of what he could have been like as a child.