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"god loves you, but not enough to save you."
★━━─ ・‥...━━━☆
"please, don't make me do this."
lydia jacobs heartbeat was in her ears, every limb shaking uncontrollably under her father's harsh grip upon her shoulders. the utter hopelessness that swallowed her whole in face of the unknowing. the car ride to the clinic was consumed by a haunting silence that created the urge to rip her own skin off.
jumping out of the car all together had crossed her mind, for at least the damage caused would've been self inflicted. it would've been her choice. some form of control for a girl who never had any at all.
not even over her own bodily autonomy.
"what's going to happen? what're they going to do to me?" lydia's words came so rushed, but it didn't matter whether or not cal jacobs heard. "what happens next?"
he wasn't listening to begin with.
"this gets taken care of." the phrase came with such distain lacing the father's tone. "go inside. they're waiting."
"i don't want to go alone, please, don't make me go alone, dad." the 14 year old turned to cling so desperately on the man's hand, mirroring the little girl he once thought her to be. "i'm scared— dad, please, i'm begging you."
"go, lydia."
but the perception had been completely obliterated, and a young lydia jacobs couldn't understand why. in turn, cal jacobs simultaneously destroyed his own false fatherly facade. the only daughter of the jacobs family had held out hope like a pathetic child who knew no better, praying to a god that never answered.
something changed the moment lydia walked through the clinics doors completely alone with no control over any aspect of the perfect dollhouse her family had created.
★━━─ ・‥...━━━☆
CASS. are you coming? READ.
"you can stay as long as you need, lydia."
leslie bennett gave the teenager an excuse to ignore the oncoming sensation of guilt building in her chest. there was no where else to go, unless lydia took kat hernandez into consideration. she couldn't bring herself to drag anyone else into her bullshit.
at least rue knew what to expect of her. she understood in a way no one else ever could, not even the likes of lexi or fez. their suffocating selflessness could never begin to grasp the guilt that gutted her every waking day.
