*Discontinued* No Longer

Even on the Darkest Night

Era Damon White**

"I went crazy again, didn't I! I knew it was just a matter of time, that it was too good to be true! I knew that someone who's done all the terrible things I've done in my lifetime would never be able to find true happiness!" and then he really did burst into tears.

Madam Pomfrey stuck her head out from behind the curtain with a glare, and Era went over to Tom, picked him up so he was secure on his hip, and flooed to their personal suite at Nighthowlers and Orchids.

"Sweetheart, baby, look at me," Era begged, "You didn't go crazy. You went. . . catatonic. Nothing could reach you. Not even when I came back. After Harry died, you completely broke down. Lucius said that while Harry had neared death, that you, Tom, began to cry uncontrollably, that you said, that you said that. . ." Era cleared his throat.

"What did I say?" Tom nearly moaned, his face buried in Era's neck, "I said something terrible, didn't I? Did I threaten to kill people? Did I actually kill people?"

"No no no, honey, you didn't. You just kept on saying that you didn't think you should've been mated to us. And that's not true sweetheart. You do belong with us, with me, Lucius, and Severus, because we all love you."

"I didn't go crazy?" Tom sniffed.

"You didn't go crazy," Era confirmed.

He remembered the look that had been on Tom's face when he'd returned from Death as Era though. It looked as if he'd just seen everything good in the world taken away from him, and that he didn't think life was worth living anymore.

"The other part, the part about me not being good enough to be mated to you is true though. I tortured Lucius and Severus. Hell, I'm the reason why Abraxas, his father died in the first place, as well as your parents-"

Era snorted, "Trust me sweetheart, Lucius and I are both inexpressibly happy that you did. The whole rotten lot of them were dreadful to us."

"All the same, I killed them. And I would've tried to kill you too, just as soon as I'd gotten over my surprise at your intelligence. I'm the worst mate ever," he said, dejectedly, "I've tortured both Lucius and Severus, and I sentenced you to live with the Dursleys when I killed your parents. I made all your lives hell.

"Now, you all come back to me, sweet as cake, and are willing to be my mates? I don't deserve it. Not at all. You should've killed me instead of saving me. It's my fault you died the first time, and it would've been my fault that you died the second time. I should've known something to do to help you, but I'm too useless. Even now, when I'm trying to be a good mate, I'll never be good enough."

"Tom," Era said, holding the man back from him a little bit, trying to make him meet his eyes, "Tom, sweetheart, can you look at me?"

He shook his head.

"Well tough shit."

Tom's eyes did briefly flick up to meet Era's, surprised by the curse, but immediately returned downwards. Well, he wasn't having any of this nonsense. He loved and adored Tom, and by the balances he would make the idiot realize it.

Pinching Tom's chin between his thumb and forefinger, he guided the black-haired man's head up, until his crimson eyes met Era's.

"I love you," he declared, punctuating it with a kiss, "I love you, and adore you, and thank my lucky stars every day to have you as my mate. Hear that? You're mine, and I don't give a damn what you have to say on the matter. I love you, so you aren't allowed to be depressed and think you're unworthy of me. 

"Hells above and below, while you did all those things, you weren't right in the head. If I were under the imperius curse, and I hurt you, would you forgive me?" Era asked, his eyes drilling into Tom's.