Pilot of helluva boss the start of everything

3.8K 34 28
                                    

The scene opens with a shot of Imp City that slowly zooms in on the I.M.P building. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door labeled "IMP Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. The light flickers as the camera zooms in on the door. Inside, Blitzo is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees.

Blitzo: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... *looks at Moxxie* Moxxie.

Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.

Blitzo: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Saba: auto shop?

Blitzo: Saba that's because you have a auto shop

Saba: it pays well though

Millie: *eyes sparkling* What about a car wash?

Blitzo: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? *thinks for a second* Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

[He waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.]

Moxxie: *rolls eyes* We can't afford a billboard, sir.

Blitzo: *wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder* Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. *pushes Moxxie away* Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Saba rips a man's head along with his spine Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Saba, Loona, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Saba: agreed

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Blitzo: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Saba: like broadway

Blitzo: Exactly, Saba! And we're basically doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir--

Blitzo: 'Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Saba: TMI

Millie: Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Millie: *flirtatiously* I thought I knew you.

She playfully sticks her tongue out at him as Moxxie blushes and rolls his eyes affectionately.

Blitzo: I can't believe you, Moxxie!

He tearfully holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it.

Blitzo: After I made you employee of the month!

Moxxie: *defeated* Okay, sir! I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!

If I was in hazbin hotel/helluva boss Where stories live. Discover now