people often ask me how love feels like, i could simply answer them that the definition of love is different for everyone, not just for different stories but also for two people falling for each other, the perspectives for love can be so different t...
the next morning, it was all faded. all the stars hidden, the moon returned home and sun shined solo. a bright morning indeed. three days of intended love and we torn apart like sky and earth. all the kisses embedded on my lips and all his memories written on my soul.
just like the night passed, all the beautiful moments also passed...
today i'm going to ahemdabad. it was planned prior to our relationship started and i was excited to finally leave my house even if it's for a few weeks. away from all the chaos and all the questions but now it was different, i was leaving behind a beautiful bond which i'll adore all my life.
i sat near the window feeling the air, trying not to regret my decision but the question here was, which decision i was trying not to regret? the one where i decided to go ahemdabad? or the one where i finally asked the guy?
i closed my eyes to recall everything one more time, one more time to check if it was love. THE FIRST THING I SAW UNDER THAT DARKNESS WA NOT OUR KISS OR THE ROMANTIC GESTURES OR HIS SHIRTLESS BODY BUT HIS BIG, UGLY LAUGH. THE ONE WHICH LIGHTENED MY DARKNESS AND FILLED IT WITH A HOPE, HOPE OF THIS BEING AN ETERNITY, HOPE OF US STAYING BY EACH OTHER'S SIDE TILL INFINITY.
an another time a horn peeped, and this time it was my maternal uncle who came there to pick me from my home. the train was booked for evening and i was supposed to go with my mama's family. i took a moment for myself and embraced everything i got since i came here, every way i was brought out of my inner battles and everything i was been told.
i grabbed my bags and hugged my sisters, my grandmother, my parents and took their blessings and before any of us decide to grieve, i walked out of the door. everywhere i saw, was him.
from us playing truth and dare at the neighbours to chasing each other in the park, from laughing drunk to throwing pebbles at each other, from running away to finally having a right to adore each other, we certainly came a long way. all this days i lived here should go down as the best days of my life and for my senarius, i pray to be the absolut queens when they grow up.
i said goodbye to all that was mine but the hardest goodbye was to HIM, someone i couldn't decide was mine or not.
i didn't blinked once while my uncle drove from his house in a hope to see him one last time before i leave him.
the best part of this entire story was that i never told him that i won't return. i agreed to negotiate with his love to fulfill a promise which i made to my girls. i decided to never tell him that i was supposed to live in a different city, away from the barriers, building base for the life i want for myself and my sisters.
i saw him, not near his residence but at the end of main street, he was with naman and his sisters and mrs. kotadiya. he was laughing. my heart melt there, for the first time i felt like giving up on everything i have sweared on. for the first time , i felt like surrendering to my destiny to be with him. i screamed within.
but my devotion was real, even if we don't happen to be together, i, dhvani pandya, would always keep loving him. something in me was wiser than me, the voice said, "EVERY ENDING IS A NEW BEGINNING." and to that, i gathered guts to leave behind the love of my life, the cutest boy on the globe.
it was not that i wanted this or that i did it intentionally, but maybe it was in the timing. i still think that if would have told him earlier, we could have had a lot better than whatever we had.
only if i'd have stopped him from pursuing alizeh or if i'd have proposed him when we were drunk or if i'd have just simply threw myself off-guard, we could have had a lot more... but you need to know sid, that whatever i do, or whatever i be, there will never be a circumstance that could undo that love which i feel for you. no matter how far we could be or how upset or broken we are, i would still love you the same and more.
when i saw you for the first time, it was a damage irreparable that was caused and i promise to find out a way to come back, everytime i go away and to bring you back, everytime you're not able to return yourself. believe or not, you're tangled with me and YOU'VE GOT NO ESCAPE, i aspire to love you, till infinity...
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