INFINITY...? 1-the tragedy

3. connected

hmm, this definitely is a good feeling. i'm also able to focus on studies. since yesterday i've just travelled to another world for a good reason, to meet him. the big smile i had on my face was a sight. 

he still make the reality a lot hard to live in but it's still calm out here, it's good. 

"hi dhvani"

"oh hi ruchu, wassup girl"

"you're happy"

"huh?" 

"haven't seen this smile in a while."

"i haven't seen you this content in a while, anything special?"

"naah, what are you doing?"

"nothing just finishing my notes and revising whatever i studied in school today."

"oh my, god decided to bless us huh."

"haha, i want to score good this time, i was so scared when i saw my last result card. it just can't be me. geeta ma'am said i've got a lot more potential then what i believe i have, when she hugged me on last day. 

i should also prepare my base for next year cus i gotta be in 10th.

then everything's gotta get sorted, i'll go to UK, away from all this chaos over here and i'll build a life for us."

vrushti got so happy hearing me talking about my studies and being positive about something. her happiness means world to me.

ru and i grew up together but in exact opposite ways. i got all the luck when all she had was grief and she got mumma, when all i got was depression, she got it too but right now it's about me. yeah, i was seven when my pediatric suggested my parents to take me to psychiatrist and suggested i need help but my parents didn't noticed, it's not that ru has faced less, it's just that she express it a lot differently than i do.

in initial stages, i tried to draw my feelings to show my family how disturbed i am, then i forgot almost everything i was taught including all the holy texts of jainism that i learnt in this tiny age and was about to finish in a few months or so. that was my biggest success ever and i literally don't remember a single word now. later on my academics started getting affected from a+, i went to a c in matter of years. now few weeks back, i used to cry all the day and scratch walls with my nails.

i could not control my tears when that scene came in front of my eyes. i tried attempting suicide but was so scared that if i do it, my dad would blame my mum for this and what else, i'm their biggest hope, their future. i cannot end everything like this. 

after finishing my 10th i've decided to go UK to earn a living for myself and my family and to find the real dhvani pandya who was innocent , brave, confident and happy.

"open the door" mumma said. dad was back home. alongwith him came a short and stupid-looking guy. his name is manoj.  my daddy hired this dumbass to design our furniture. 

"why should we get it personalized?" my grandma asked.

dad said, "i've imagined our daughters' dream house to be exact same like they expected."

"really" i said with immense joy on my face and in my eyes.

"truly" he said.

"i've also seen a reference. have any of you been to mr. chirag's house yet?" 

"mr. chirag?"

"yes, he lives the next street, he and his family moved here the same day as we did. he and his wife are very good people, come i'll take you to their place and show you what i liked."

"okay"

this street already got memories ey. the second day after i moved here, i came to this house where maru family lives, totally weird species of human beings i've seen yet. i went there to borrow a diya for puja when i saw a house right in front of theirs out of their kitchen window. i paused and kept looking this, i heard a lady shouting, "son, i need you to bring other stuff to parking."

"yes, i'll get it there mummy"

i could see the lady sitting in her parking behind the closed gates, she was probably doing some chores which i didn't had time to care about i came here in midst of a puja.

also yesterday when i saw him, it was also the same street. oops, it's the same house.

this time the gate was open, standing in front of me was a pretty looking lady probably in her late thirties wearing kurta pyjama and had her hair tied in a bun. her smile was so motherly and her voice had that rare homecoming aesthetic unlike the lady of maru house. at the very moment this woman earned respect and a place in my heart. 

standing next to her was a... shit it's him.

oh boy, not again. why are you following me Mr. Eyes? damnit!

"hello brother, please come in. welcome to my house." the lady said in a welcoming tone. it made me really want to go inside this house inspite of that creature being in there already. you can imagine how embarassing it was to go to his house after staring at him like a creep and telling in front of a lot that i like him and adds to it that i didn't even knew about his existence till yesterday. 

wait i did knew he exist... that voice was from this house, i assume there's no other boy in this house expect for chirag uncle and him and the voice said "mummy" so it was definitely him. 

oh man, i was already awestruck long before i knew him. this can't be real, it's just too much.

"should i bring you some tea?" aunty asked.

"no no, that's alright. i just came here to introduce my daughter to your family." my dad said this in a very friendly tone and witha big smile on face which made me realize how higly he regard this family. this is also a rare moment of day cus pappa don't really pay respect to anyone until he really do respect them.

aunty is too kathiyawadi, her accent, her vibe, her very being. i was sitting in her newly organized house with had subtle yet classy design with ceiling made out of plaster of paris and her tv set having light brown furniture surrounded by it. on the left of that i could see a bedroom door from bit far with it's door being slightly open, walked out of it the absolute disaster of my life. 

i thought i was the most annoying character in my life but nope, it's him, it's always been him. this guy out here is driving me nuts, i'm screaming this line loud in my head. i just can't ughhh.