people often ask me how love feels like, i could simply answer them that the definition of love is different for everyone, not just for different stories but also for two people falling for each other, the perspectives for love can be so different t...
it takes only a few attempts or none to plant a thought in my mind. also, aliz clearly told me today that he's not in relationship with him nor looking forward to it in any circumstances. that sounded a lot like a fragile statement but i blindly believed it as if it was something i manifested. i was a lot more happy than i should be, the realization of which finally made me believe that "I'VE FALLEN FOR HIM". nothing in me feels as it was before, EVERYTHING IS SO PINK AND EVERYWHERE I SEE GOLDEN GLITTERS. i would have never admitted my feelings if aliz wouldn;'t have told me about her feelings for him. i literally have like a hundred question in my mind and only person who can answer them is sidhharth but he loves creating puzzles. so i guess i'd just go with the flow.
realization of having love for someone itself is so relaxing and comforting. the feeling of me having this kind of emotion is like unlocking a new level in life. at the same time i'm also worried, sid might not feel anything at all and in that case, it can be a bit troublesome to keep going on with all this in my heart. WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY HOLDING FLAMES WITHIN YOURSELF, YOU CAN'T JUST SIT ASIDE AND SEE THEM POUR MORE OF THAT FIRE INTO YOU, YOU WANT THEM TO FEEL THAT WARMTH WITH YOU... TO FEEL THOSE FLAMES AND TO CARRY THEM WITHIN THEMSELVES. now that i know i like him, i have this urge for him to like me back. i can still not connect all the dots from our first eyelock to this moment of realizing me having hard feelings for him. i don't know when i fell for him but i'm sure of something, there's something in me which says, there's something in him holding the same heat for me. from being unaware of my very existence to having my heart for someone, i've came a long way. all the conversations and all the wishes were for a good reason i feel.
about his point of view i think he is a lot into me but i don't know if i should take that or not, sid is so much of an unpredictable person because he plays with his own feelings. if he discover himself falling for someone, he'd rather wait for them to pursue him and get mad at getting even a bit less of their attention than usual. sid is also someone whose heart can be won even by a spoonful of care of a handful of efforts, he literally crave for them. A BRIGHT SMILE ON FACE, SPIRITED SOUL AND EYES WITH STAR IN THEM, THE BOY I LOVE IS "MAGIC". i don't know how you'll feel when you know about my feelings for you since forever but all i want is for you to know that you are loved, you are loved not just like average or a little bit but like a million times more than how much my words describe. YOUR SMILE, YOUR A BIT WEIRD SHAPED EARS, YOUR HABIT OF ADJUSTING YOUR HAIR EVERY NANOSECOND, YOUR WAY OF SPEAKING, THE WAY YOU CARRY YOURSELF, EVERYTHING YOU ARE IS SO SPECIAL, MAYBE NOT LIKE IN GENERAL BUT IN SOMEONE'S EYES IT IS. TO ME YOU ARE LITERALLY MAGIC AND YOUR EXISTENCE IS EVERYTHING THAT FUELS MINE. IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE THE MEANING OF MY LIFE BUT IT'S GONNA BE BORING WITHOUT YOU IN IT. JUST KNOW THAT.
"dhvan, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL THIS TO HIM."
okay let it be, let's skip to the good part, let's look forward to navratri. hmm, which hair style should i do? i tried holding my hair and holding them like hairdos unaware of my door being open all the time.
"dhvaniii" again a familiar voice, sounds more like... HIM, darn...
i turned back
"you'll look good in any of those", he said with the most softest voice and the sweetest accent, the most genuine compliment i've ever got and the most special out of all those. i actually believed what he said, i wore my mumma's anarkali kurta and leggings for garba and did a braid in my hair. the anarkali was one of prettiest garment mumma have in her closet of exquisite collection, those little shiny details were love. skin coloured outfit was complimenting my dull skin and my face was already glowing due to all the happiness.
i got ready before all my other homies and went along with sid who came back to my place after getting ready. he was wearing his dad's shirt and greyish pair of jeans. his shirt and my dress were the same shade, it looked like we twinned.
we both walked down the street under a quite night sky with a lots of stars and shining moon. a kind of walk that every bollywood simp would romanticize. siddharth looked at me and said in the most romantic way,
"we both bro-sis twinned"
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"by the way, the kurta is lovely but you look like a mouse in that hairdo lmao"
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the real good part is; even sid don't know how to play garba, this means i'm not gonna be the only one my sister's wil make fun of this year, siddhu's gonna join me in humiliation lolz.
