Amile The Queen

Chapter Twenty-Four

***Nambitha Makhathini***


School is not the same without Amile. Now I have to put up with Yonela and everyone else asking me questions about her whereabouts as if they didn’t see it on the news and all over the television last week. I hate fake people, that’s what all of these people are. They are fake and are chasing clout. Now they want to pretend as if they care about Amile when they didn’t even share a single word with her. Bloody leeches.
I miss my friend. Not just at school, but just being with her and hanging out with her. Now she’s literally four hours away, living a whole different life, it unusual. She doesn’t even have a phone where she is, I can’t call or text her. Nkululeko is also back in Durban and the only reason I was able to reach her was through him.
She said she was okay, but okay doesn’t mean happy. Okay means surviving, but barely coping. She’s putting up with it, but she doesn’t desire to be there.
When I last spoke to her, she said the king, her husband, hadn’t touched her yet. The last they actually spoke to each other was the wedding, and he was doing most of the talking.
It was definitely a beautiful ceremony, and I’m glad I witnessed it. It was very emotional, there was more crying than happiness and joy from our side. Only if it had been with the right person.
“Why are you so deep in thought?” she sits down next to me.
I hate my heart sometimes, because I will dislike you to the ends of the earth, but I still can’t say no to you. Of all the places she could sit, she choose to come violate my peace and sanity, but I won’t say anything to her.
“Yonela.”
“I don’t know why you are mad at me, I didn’t do anything to you.” I sighed. This, it’s things like this that I don’t like about her now.
“Overall Yonela, you still don’t see anything wrong with what you did?” she rolls her eyes.
“I apologized. Is it my fault that she didn’t accept it, I don’t think so.” Again, my peace and sanity come first.
“I’m not going to get in between you and Amile’s problems, they are yours. But I made my own executive choice to distance myself from you because your heart is that of the devils and if you were able to do such to a friend of years, then what am I to you? Please respect my decision and tone it down. Running into you is the inevitable, but talking to you, that is a choice.” I stood up.
If she still doesn’t see that she is the problem, the toxic one, than that’s her problem. There is that Golf 7 that is going to draw me eyes. Kodwa Nkululeko. I did the walk of shame all the way to his car when he parked and rolled down the window. He smiled when he saw me coming. That toothy smile that tells me that he wants attention.
“Where is your bag, I’m here to pick you up.” He said as I leaned in against his door.
“No, my parents are picking me up.” He blew me a kiss and winked.
This is my biggest predicament. Nkululeko Dlamini. A man made in God’s image, because I refuse to call him ugly like Amile does, who is so charming that I feel so much for him in so little time. The butterflies should have stopped now. In fact, they shouldn’t have been there from the beginning.
“We have an ice-cream date remember nana. You promised.” You see what happens when he makes me promise things in my sleep.
“You know that’s unfair and you know it. You called me when I was asleep.” He laughed.
“Come on nana. When are your parents coming?”
“I don’t know, mom leaves work at five.” He looks at his wrist watch.
“We’ll be back by then.” He gives me a dashing smile. I can’t say no to that now can I?
“Fine. Wait for me here.”
“Thank you nana.”
I don’t want him to see me blushing so I turn around and go get my bag. I hate being light skinned, I’m practically see through.
“So now you are busy with him.” You see, it’s things like these that make me lose interest in living.
“You can have him Yonela if you want if. Now the question you should ask yourself is does he want you.?” I raised my eyebrow.
She clicked her tongue looking behind me, I’m assuming at the car. I turn around and the man made in God’s image is looking at me. Oh gosh. I went back and climbed in the front seat. Those who want to talk, ie Yonela, they must do it to my face. She will never post anything derogatory on social media though, she got the sour part after doing that to Amile.
“What’s the story with your friend. She’s always bitter.” He starts the car and revvs it. Show off much?
“Once upon a time, she told us that she likes a certain somebody and she will get them.” I said looking at myself in the little mirror. He laughs.
“I told MaGumede. Her friend is forward. I don’t like forward girls, ubufebe lento ayenzayo, she’s too young to be lusting over men.” I stole a glimpse at him. He genuinely looked pissed. I’m surprised.
“Where are you taking me?” I swiftly moved on.
“There’s thus ice-cream place that I love so much and I want you to try it with me, maybe I’m crazy for loving it so much.”
Uhhm, hello, is this a Hlomu and Mqhele relationship. He’s a driver, he smokes, he’s dark skinned and he loves ice-cream. Someone scream with me!
“You have a sweet tooth?” I looked at him.
“Yeah, I do.” How unfortunate that I don’t.
“I actually don’t like sweet things.” He looked disappointed.
“So no ice-cream?” he gave me those eyes. Those eyes I can’t say no to.
“We can have ice-cream Nkululeko. I’ll try it but I’m not really the best judge.” He smiled again.
“I promise you won’t regret it. They make the best ice-cream ever!”
Yes, I’m not normal. I’m not that girl that craves chocolate when on their periods, or eats buckets of ice-cream when heartbroken. Not that I ever have been heartbroken. That’s Amile, not me.
“How is my friend doing?” I asked him. He sighed.
“I don’t know, but Mandlenkosi said we are going to Zululand this weekend so I might see her. I’ll give her the phone when I see her.” I nodded.
“Is she going to come back to school?” finals are approaching, we’ve been working hard since grade 8 for this and now she just doesn’t get to write them. It’s unfair on her.
“I don’t know. I do know though that there is a high chance she may be staying at the palace full time and might be enrolled into a school that side so she can write.” My heart shatters.
“I miss her.” I said lowly.
He put his hand on my thigh and squeezed reassuringly. I looked at his hand and he quickly removed it.
I don’t think he did that on purpose. He was just trying to comfort me. I really am not used to boys, men touching me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. Now I feel like my uniform is too short.
He parks by a shop and he climbs out to open my door for me. He left his phone lying face down on the seat and it’s vibrating. I take it and when he opens the door, I hand it to him. ‘Maka Azande’ he looks at me in the eyes and tries to read me before looking at his phone, declining the call and sliding it in his pocket. Sus.
He takes my hand and closes the door behind me. I pull down my skirt and wait for him to lead the way. He held my hand and led me into the shop. His hand is very warm, mine is cold. I hold on to it tightly.
He gets to the counter and orders the ice-cream. All these flavours are labelled in French but he says them so fluently. He comes here regularly.
He’s also very well spoken, his English is top notch, and his accent is intimidating. My mother tongue is Zulu so I often use it at home, I also learnt to speak English at a very late age, so I don’t have the most fluent English accent. For someone who was born and grew up in the rurals, he is very well spoken.
“Do you eat nuts?” he squeezes my hand again. Oh, he was speaking. The lady at the till laughs.
“Yes, I eat nuts.” Oh my gosh, that is so embarrassing. Was I staring at him?
“You are going to enjoy this one MaXulu, I swear.” Oh and when he calls me MaXulu!? I love to hate it.
“Which one did you get me?” I asked looking at the menu.
“The vanille noisette.” I frowned and he laughed.
“Vanilla hazelnut. I promise you it’s out of this world.” He really loves ice-cream doesn’t he.
He shows me all his other favourites and that is almost everything on the menu. That is so unlike him, I’m still stuck on him being a Mqhele Zulu vibe. We get the ice-cream and we sit down to eat.
He waits for me to have the first spoon before he eats his. I have to say, I’m impressed. It actually tastes good, and I’m used to Steers and KFC ice-cream.
“Nice?” he asked giving me a silly face.
“It’s out of this world.” He was impressed with himself.
I was enjoying the mini date-like outing. We were having the most basic conversation about nothing, but it was so much fun, it just made sense and I was happy. He’s fun to be around.
“I don’t know about you but I’m going to get a cup for the road.” He said standing up.
“Go ahead, I’ve had enough.” He looks happy.
He stares at me for a short while before going to the counter. This eye contact that we keep sharing is slowly but surely getting me to go somewhere I don’t want to go.
He left his phone on the table. It’s vibrating again. It’s still the same person who was calling. I look at it and it rings until it stops. One thing I’ve learned from reading adult novels is never answer a man’s phone, never go through it, because you will find what you are looking for and it will hurt way more than the thought of it.
It rings again, this time, he’s walking back to the table with his ice-cream. I stand up.
“We can go?” I ask.
He stares at his phone, switches it off and slides it in his pocket.
“Yes, let’s go.” I won’t ask, it’s not my place. Nambitha don’t ask, it’s not your place.
It’s almost half past four, we are on time. I’ve chosen silence as we drive back to school. He’s eating his ice-cream and he keeps glancing at me.
“Thank you for the ice-cream, I enjoyed it.” I said in gratitude.
“You are welcome MaXulu, and thank you for your time. I appreciate it.” I smiled.
The drive back to school feels shorter than it was when we left, maybe its true what they say, time flies when you are having fun. He parks the car and sits and stares at me. I look at the scar under his eye. I wonder what happened there.
“Got it from my father.” He said looking at me.
He’s trying to lock his eyes with my but I keep moving them away from his. I didn’t mean to stare for too long.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t know if I’m apologizing for the scar, or for staring at it.
“Don’t apologize for things you didn’t do.” He touched it briefly, and it didn’t seem to faze him.
“You remember what I said to you Nana?” I shook my head. Nkululeko says a lot of things.
“When I said you’ve grown on me, I wasn’t lying. I like you, a lot. I’m not a perfect man, I’m not a perfect human being, but all I’m asking of you is a chance, and maybe I can grow on you, and we can grow together and maybe make love.” I looked at him and he realizes what he said. He chuckled.
“Nalokho sizokwenza phela, kodwa phela sizoqala kancane, sicothoze nje MaXulu.” (We will do that, but we will start small, just take things slow MaXulu.)I nodded. Anything he says in Zulu has me nodding. Sometimes the urge to go on my knees as say “yebo baba” is there, but we are feminists this side and we don’t submit to men!
“What does your nod mean?”
“It means I hear what you are saying.”
“Which part of it?” I chuckled.
“All of it Jama.” He smiles. I think I just pushed the right button.
“What are you trying to do to me Nana?” I smiled and looked away.
“Ngibuke.” (look at me.) I turned my head and looked at briefly before dropping my eyes.
He lifted my face and leaned in. My heart started racing. He closed his eyes and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I’ve stopped breathing, and for a second I have my eyes wide open from the shock. He latches on to my bottom lip and softly sucks on it. My eyes automatically close and I let him.
I’m not kissing him back, I’m still very much in a state of shock. When he pulls out, I feel him staring at me. I have my eyes tightly shut. He laughs and I open one eye and look at him. He wipes the corners of his lips and laughs even louder.
“Nana?” I open both my eyes but I can’t look at him. I’m shy. He stops laughing.
“You are the cutest thing ever.” I rolled my eyes and turned my body to face the other side.
“I’m sorry I caught you off guard, but you just look so beautiful.” I nod and touch where his lips just were.
“When are we doing this again?” the kiss or the date? I want both, very soon!
“I don’t know.” I said.
“Let it be soon nana. I enjoyed today.” He turns my face around. I look at him, his lips especially.
“We will talk.” I reassured. He nodded.
“Another one?” he asked when he saw me hesitate to get out the car.
I leaned in and gave him a soft peck on the cheek. I moved away in time, just as he was about to kiss my lips. He chuckled. 
“Bye nana.”
“Bye Nkululeko.” I opened the car door and got out.
It’s another walk of shame. It feels like everybody is looking at me. Fuck I can finally breathe!
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I’ve been studying since I got home, locked up in my room. I need a break so I got my phone out the charger and I have a message from Nkululeko.
*I can’t stop thinking about you.*
That involuntarily put a smile on my face. My door opened and mom walked in.
“You said you were studying but you are busy on your phone.” Timing, the timing is off!
“I was mom, I just took a break now.”
I was expecting her to say whatever she wanted to say, close the door and leave as always but she comes in, closes the door and sits on the bed. I switched off my phone.
“My daughter…” okay, what’s wrong?
“I’m concerned about your life.” I frowned.
“What’s wrong with my life mom?”
“By this age, all your sisters were already caught having boyfriends and all of these silly things, and yes, I know I told you that boys are wrong and you have to concentrate on your studies, but do you even have a social life.” I laugh. She’s actually serious.
“Mama where is this coming from.”
“Amile. She just gave up her whole life now and I’m sure she hasn’t lived. I know I shield you away from all these things but kumandi ukuphila sanalwami.” I sighed.
“I know mama. And I do as much living as I can. What happened to Amile is very sad mama but it doesn’t happen everyday, I guess she was just unlucky, or maybe even blessed.”
“I don’t want you to miss out on life. Don’t deny yourself life.” Maybe that’s why my sisters all have babies, mom is strict only for a period. What happened to Mrs Makhathini?
“I’m still focusing on school mama, don’t worry about me. I’m living more than I want to.” Her eyes widened. I laughed.
“I’m living the right amount. And I’m not like my sisters, I’m not forward.” she laughed.
“They got it from their mother, I can’t complain.”
That part is definitely true. Mom had my older brother at 16. She was just lucky that dad married her. My sisters though, they weren’t as lucky.
“At this point mama, I’ll marry my first boyfriend.” She laughed.
“That’s good. But don’t rush into marriage. It’s a trap.”
I wonder what is making my mother speak like this, yeah her and dad fight sometimes, but it’s never anything hectic. They love each other. Maybe all married women speak like this.
She told me supper is ready before leaving to room. I pick up my phone and stare at Nkululeko’s message.
*I can’t stop thinking about you too.* I type and send without thinking.
My heart beat quickens and I throw it on the bed as of it’s heating up in my hands. Let me run away and maybe I’ll fund a whole to hide in.