Amile The Queen

Chapter One Hundred

***Amile Gumede***

Finale

“I want him to be transferred back home doctor, we need to go back home.” I said staring at him.
“He hasn’t recovered yet my queen.”
“I’m not saying discharge him, I’m saying I want him to go back to Zululand, his home land.” she’s frowning at me like I’m the crazy one.
I’m not crazy.
First of all, nothing is going right at the palace in our absence, this baby has clearly proven that they don’t want to be born, so let me go back home and sort out the problems at the palace.
“I’ll see what I can do my queen, I’m not promising anything.” I’ve never done this before, but now they leave me with no choice.
“This is the king of Zululand. I am here as the queen of Zululand, and I am telling you that my husband needs to go back home, and that is what you will do.”
“Yes my queen.” she nodded.
I stood up from the chair and attempted to walk out. I felt warm liquid running down my legs and I was paralyzed with shock.
“My queen.” she calls out to me.
“What!?” I shout.
My hands are suddenly shaking, my heart is racing.
It’s time!
“I think you are in labour.”
“And you are sitting there!”
I’m now standing in a puddle of water. I can’t believe this.
She’s talking to someone on the phone and before I know it, nurses are rushing into the ward. They ask me to grace the wheelchair, and I don’t fight them about it.
They are wheeling me across the hospital to the maternity section.
When I get there, I find a doctor already waiting on me.
“Queen Amile, I am going to be assisting Dr Matthews with delivering your baby. Congratulations.” I smiled at her.
“Please help the queen up on the bed. I’m just going to inspect how far you’ve dilated.” she’s so sweet.
The nurses prepared everything for me and they helped me up on the bed. I’m still in a state of shock, I can’t believe what is going on.
“Where is doctor Matthews?” I ask scanning the room.
It’s not because I don’t trust her, but there’s a lot going on, and seeing a familiar face will ease some of these things.
“She has been notified, and she is making her way here as we speak.” she tells me to lie back and I lift my legs so she can check whatever it is that she is checking.
“2cm dilation, that is quick.” she says.
“We are going to wait until you get to ten before you can be ready to push. You are going to experience contractions, and your nurse is going to time them for you okay.” I nodded.
A sharp pain hit me as soon as she finished saying that.
“That’s one of them.” she gave me a warm smile.
“I don’t like this one bit.” I say groaning as I listen to the pain.
Soon enough, it’s over.
“It’s a beautiful moment, you must enjoy every single minute of it. Is there anyone I can call to be by your side?” I wish she could just pack her up and go home with her. She’s so kind.
“My mom, she’s here in the hospital.” I say in a breath.
“I’ll get to that my queen.” she bows before she goes out.
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I tighten my grip around my mother’s hand and bite my lip to suppress the scream.
I can’t do it.
“Can this just be over! Please!” 
“It’s almost over sthandwa sami.” she kisses my hand.
I just wish it was my husband doing that. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my mom being here, but I was supposed to do this with baba, and he’s not here.
And it’s not almost over, I’ve only dilated 6cm, I’ve endured almost 4 hours of labour pains. It’s 9 o’ clock at night, on the 6th of January.
I thought the more I experienced these contractions, I’d get used to them, but they seem to be getting worse by the minute. Is this my welcome to motherhood? Really?
“My queen, I have good news.” Khaya waltz into the ward.
“What are you doing here?” the contractions are behaving.
“They told me you were in labour, we couldn’t miss it.”
Before I know it, the boys are running into the hospital room carrying balloons for the baby.
“Mamizana.” mom stands and allows them space to come stand over me.
I’m guessing they were not told about MaMzobe’s tragic death. It’s problem on top of problem.
“Where is the baby?” Halle asks jumping up and down.
“The baby is still in my stomach my boy, but she’s coming soon.”
“We bought her balloons, uncle Khaya gave us lots of money!” I looked at Khaya and smiled.
This has just lifted my mood.
“Thank you boys, thank you uncle Khaya. You said you have good news.” both mom and I are staring at him in anticipation.
“UNdabezitha has woken up.”
“What!?” my mom said and tears welled up in her eyes.
She has been concerned just as I have. He has no idea how happy this makes me. I don’t even care that he won’t be here to witness the birth, as long as he’s alive.
“How is he, is he okay?” that’s all I need to hear.
Another contraction. They are growing close together!
“I’m so sorry my queen.” he says looking so scared at what is going on inside my body.
He waits for me to finish enduring the pain. The boys are rubbing my stomach trying to comfort me.
“We are sorry Mamizana.” they say in unison.
“It’s okay.” I take in a deep breath.
How is he Khaya?”
“I haven’t gone to see him, the boys and I just arrived.” he replied.
“Please go check on him.” I say turning to lie on my side.
I feel so uncomfortable.
“Boys, come let’s go get some chips.” mom says grabbing the boys hands.
They shouldn’t see me like this, but I understand that they missed me, and they didn’t want to miss out on anything. I’m happy they are here, but I don’t think they should stay longer. Hospitals are not a place for children.
“My queen, the king has woken up.” the nurse that was timing my contractions walks into the room with a smile on her face.
“Yes, I have been told. How is he?”
“He is well, he looks well.” she says with so much joy.
I forget that he is their king, not just my husband. That I share him with everyone else. The difference between them and I is a see a completely different side to him, this carefree, loving and joyful side. It’s been a hectic two days without my best friend, because that’s what he is, my best friend.
“I just can’t believe I’ll be a mom is a few hours.” she chuckles.
“The nurses that tended to the king when he woke up said the first thing he asked was where is my daughter.” I giggled.
“He didn’t want to miss this moment.” my smile slowly fades.
He is missing this moment. He should be here.
“The bright side of this is that he is awake, and he is healthy, and when the first princess arrives, she will find her king waiting for her.” that brought a smile to my face.
“Yeah, that’s true.” I won’t lie, some of these people here are wholesome people, so kindhearted.
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“Are you ready to become a mommy.” Dr Matthews ask as she finishes checking my dilation.
The contractions are going on one-way now, and they hurt so much I’m just sobbing silently, I have no scream left in me.
“I think that’s a yes.” my mom answers on my behalf and she squeezes my hand.
“One more centimetre to go mommy, just one more.” she says.
I thought it was over.
“What time is it?” I ask looking at my mom.
I’m feeling extremely hot, there’s sweat on my forehead, and my breasts are throbbing. I can’t seem to make sense of that.
“It’s 20 minutes to 12.” so you mean to tell me that I have been in labour for almost 6 hours now?
Madness!
The doors open and a nurse walks in, pushing a wheelchair. I almost jump out of bed when I see kaMhlaba sitting on that chair. He looks…I don’t know. It’s difficult to tell if he’s in pain or not. He looks better than he did when he was in that ‘coma’ but he does still look sickly. He shouldn’t be here, he should be resting.
“Bayede.” everyone stops and bows before him as he is wheeled right across to my bedside.
I am unable to hold it in, I let out a sob. Mom engulfs me in a hug and lets me go relatively quickly.
“My queen.” the nurse bows for me too.
I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her. Baba reaches for my hand and the feel of it in mine sends me bawling.
“My love. Don’t cry…” his speech, it sounds like it’s very difficult for him to put words together.
Like he’s gasping for air.
“Baba you should be resting…” I say in between hiccups.
I hate being a crybaby.
“I told you, I wasn’t going to miss this.” he takes in a sharp breath.
“I heard you telling me to listen, and wake up…that’s what I did.” I giggle in between sobs and just squeeze his hand.
“We are doing this together.” he says in one breath.
Now that he is up close, you can see that he’s trying to be strong. But it has only been a day since his surgery, he’s obviously still trying to recover and heal. I don’t expect him to be healed already.
Another contraction hits me, and I suddenly feel the urge to push. A sharp scream leaves my mouth, and that sends the nurses running to me, so is Dr Matthews.
“I need to push doctor.” I cry out.
“Okay, wait on me.” she’s already inspecting me.
“10 cm, we are ready.”
I do breathing exercises. My husband squeezes my hand tightly and I wait on Dr Matthews to instruct me. I can feel my uterus stretching, or whatever it is. It’s not the best feeling right now.
“Okay, you are going to give me one push okay, take your time.”
Baba kisses my hand as I take that push. I feel like I’m losing power.
“Breathe, and take your time…one more when you are ready.”
I give it my all and push so much, I can feel my whole body tense up and my muscles contracting.
“Good one, that’s great, I can see the head. Let’s breathe and give another big one.”
We kept going in circles over and over again. I don’t know if it was getting better with every push, or it was getting worse.
Mom is also here, she’s brushing my head, encouraging me to be strong, to breathe and to push.
“Baby is almost here, we just need one more push, a big one.” I’m exhausted.
I can’t do this anymore.
“I can’t, I…” I sob.
“Come on Amile, one more.” mom encourages.
I tighten my hold on baba’s hand and give it my all.
It doesn’t take long before a shrill cry fills the whole room.
Oh my God!? it’s done!
“It’s a…a boy?” Dr Matthews says holding him up.
Him or her? What?
I’m huffing and puffing, trying to catch a breath.
“You did well my baby, well done.” mom kissed my sweaty forehead.
Baba doesn’t leave my side, he’s awfully quiet. I look down and hold on to his hand. He’s sobbing.
“Thank you  MaGumede omuhle.” he says and kisses my hand multiple times.
I wish I could stand up and give him a hug.
A nurse walks up to us carrying our baby wrapped in a white towel. She’s coming to me.
“Congratulations your highness, my queen, it’s a boy.”
My hands are trembling. A boy? What happened to my daughter.
She’s wanting to give the baby to me.
“Please give him to his father.” I look at kaMhlaba.
She nods. He opens his arms ready to welcome his son.
The sound of his little voice fills the whole room as soon as he lands in his fathers arms.
“Zulu ka Malandela ngokulandela izinkomo zamadoda
Sithuli sika Ndaba
Sithuli sika Nkombane.”
My baby is still crying, so is his dad, I wish I could just freeze this moment forever.
“Wena oyindawo yobabomkhulu, wena ozomisa umuzi woMageba, ubambe usiko, wena oyokhothamelwa, umntwana wa Ndlunkulu uMaGumede, indlovukazi yomuzi wakwaZulu...” this was such a powerful moment.
And as he continued to praise his son, we all just sat and stood watching in awe.
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“He looks like my father.” he says as I hold him.
My hands are literally shaking. He’s so tiny, he has a full head of hair, and his eyes, although they are closed, they look like they are small, just like his fathers.
The nurse told me that I have to feed him, so mom is helping me clean my boobs for him. It’s unfortunate that he’s dressed up in pink, now he looks like what his sister could have been.
I’m still in disbelief about everything going on, and this has Mhlabawesizwe written all over it.
I want my baby to open his eyes, I want to see his eyes.
“He looks like you.” I say looking up at him.
He’s sucking on his fingers. Baba looks so content.
“He’s hungry.” mom says and takes him from me.
She then helps me position him gently on my hard nipple. He latches on to it, and as soon as he starts sucking, I feel a pain.
“Is it supposed to hurt mama?” she nods and shows me how to hold it for him.
Before I know it, it’s getting less painful and more enjoyable. The look he has on his face makes it worth it. He’s so precious.
Mom excuses herself and leaves us alone together. He should be getting rest, before he gets hurt.
“I don’t know what to do with all this happiness and love I feel right now.” he says looking at me.
He’s so fascinated by what I’m doing. I’m just as fascinated. Who knew that I, Amile Gumede, now Amile Zulu, would have a little human being that came out of me. I made this. A whole living person.
“He’s so precious baba, he’s everything and more.” I say grabbing his hand with my free one.
He plays with the baby’s foot.
“We haven’t named him.” I say looking at him.
My son. He’s my baby.
“The pain, and suffering, and heartache is over now. We have overcome all that we needed to overcome and now we have the chance to start over, to fix things, and have that peaceful life that we always speak about. These are the good days that we have been dreaming about, the better days where everything is just going alright, where we don’t need to worry ourselves. From today on we are going to have days filled with love, happiness and peace my love. I promise you.”
I nodded and my son wrapped his little hand around my finger.
“Izinsuku ezinhle lezi, and we will enjoy every single one of them.” I nodded.
The nurse walked in and she demonstrated how to burp him after feeding him. I don’t even know how to see if he’s full or not. Baba is by my side, gawking at everything we do.
“Is he always going to be sleeping like this.” I ask the nurse.
She giggles.
“Maybe he’s a lazy baby like that.” I poke his little cheeks.
I want to see his eyes.
He’s so beautiful, he looks exactly like his grandfather. I hate to admit it out loud, but it is the pure and honest truth. Oh Mhlabawesizwe, what an ancestor you have been.
Baba requests to hold him, and the nurse suggests that they do the skin to skin bonding so they can create a bond, and baby can familiarize himself with his father.
He goes to sit on the couch, and removes his pyjama shirt, revealing the massive patch on his chest where is incision was made. He hasn’t fully healed yet, but here he is.
His son is carefully taken from my arms and is carried and placed on his chest. He settles on it comfortably, and lifts his little bum in the air, bringing me to laughter. They look so beautiful together.
I grab my phone and snap a few pictures of them together. He looks so happy, the smile he’s wearing on his face reaches his eyes, this is all that we needed.
His pitch black hair, he looks exactly like his father. What about me, the one that carried him for nine months in my body? What of mine does he have?
“We are going to have to change his nursery.” he says.
He looks so content. I’m waiting for an I told you so from him.
“Khaya will get on top of things.” I say and smile at him.
“I love you mkami.”
“I love you too baba.”
Almost losing him showed me how meaningless life would be, I don’t think I would survive.
“So what are you naming him?” he asks me.
“You are the king, you should name him first.” I say.
He looks at his son with so much love in his eyes.
“His name is Nsukezinhle. Those better days, those happy days, they start right here, right now, with him.”
“Prince Nsukezinhle kaLangalethu Zulu.” I say looking at him.
“Aren’t you naming him?” he asks.
Am I allowed to?
“He is the heir to the Zulu throne, the one who will keep the palace strong, uzobumisa ubukhosi.” I say thinking out loud.
“Smisosobukhosi.” he thinks for me.
“Smisosobukhosi.” I repeat after him.
It has a beautiful ring to it.
“Umntwana uNsukezinhle Smisosobukhosi kaLangalethu Zulu.” he says.
“He will struggle to learn all of these titles.” I say.
He laughs.
“He’s a big man, ngeke ahlulwe amagama akhe.” he says and brushes his back.
He breathes out.
“He’s beautiful sthandwa sami.”
I know, he’s the most precious baby.
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Home sweet home.
Nsuke is almost 2 weeks old now, we finally could leave Durban after the first week. We were both still in hospital, baba is slowly getting a little better than he was when we left the hospital.
There were definitely repercussions for not taking it easy right after he woke up from his coma. I never want to see him experience pain like that again.
The MaMzobe issue? At this point we also don’t care. In fact, that was the last of our worries, our focus was on Vukani, who now hates us again for not being here when she was buried. He wanted her to be buried in the Zulu grave site, but that could not happen, baba flatly refused. So we are back to cold shoulder vibes.
Baba is trying, he really is. Mom advised me to give him space to deal with it, and not bombard him. She’s right, when he’s ready to talk to us about it, he will. At the end of the day, he knows that we love him and we would do anything for him. It just couldn’t happen that MaMzobe rest with our ancestors, especially because she took her own life.
“Iphi ingane yami bo!” I know that voice from anywhere.
The door opens, and Nsuke immediately wakes up. I just put him to sleep.
His eyes, they belong to Mhlabawesizwe. Looking at them is like looking him in the eyes. Scary.
“Shlobo.” I say shooing her out.
“I’m not here for you MaGumede.” I laugh and let her be.
I move away from the cot and she goes to take him out the cot.
He stretches himself and cries.
“Ampo yona nje. uMhlabawesizwe omncane nje yena.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hello little Zulu, hello Ndabezitha, Mageba.” my son is kicking his little legs.
“Sneaky man.” he says touching my son’s nose.
He stops crying and looks at her.
“Why does my child look like Mhlabawesizwe?”
“You asked where he was, here he is.” he’s now making sounds.
Yeah right.
“What are his names?”
“Nsukezinhle Smisosobukhosi.” she smiled and smeared something on the top of his head.
“They suit him.” she says.
They really do.
Prince Nsukezinhle Smisosobukhosi kaLangalethu Zulu, born on the 7th of January at 00:00.
Watch out world!