Amile The Queen

Chapter Ninety-Five

***Amile Gumede***

As the new year slowly creeps up on us, I just want to sit and appreciate all the things that have happened that have led to this moment. All the people I shared it with, and all the blessings God and the ancestors have sent my way. Thank you Mhlaba.
I remember how sad I was this day a year ago. I felt like nothing was ever going to change, that my life was ruined and I was certain that I would never find peace and joy. Now I’m here, 365 days later, I have a family, I have love; abundant love; I have joy, and most of all, I have peace. This that I have been searching for, I finally have it, and now that it is here, the tears, the heartbreak, and the pain are all worth it. It is the sacrifice that I gave in order to be here now.
My husband loves me, and I love him just as much. Not only has he given me love, but he has given me a family that loves me, and all my heart could ever desire.
I just can’t wait to meet my daughter. My excitement peaked when baba and decorated the nursery. It’s looking pink and pretty for her to arrive. I could give birth at the end of this week, or the beginning of the next. I’m always sitting in anticipation, I’m afraid of labour pains more than anything, but I know they are going to be worth it.
He said he didn’t like the pink, in fact, it was all over his uncontrollable face. His expressions kill me sometimes. But it’s a girl, and I’m the mom, I love pink for my baby girl, and that is what is going to be her persona!
We also bought baby clothes, and Lerato and her royal friends brought me gifts. It was the closest thing to a baby shower, and I’m grateful for that.
My mother is supposed to be the one that is coming down to help me with the baby when she arrives, but she also has a baby of her own, now I’m stuck with my mother in law.
She has been steering out of my direction since before Christmas, and I have reason to believe kaMhlaba has something to do with it. I’m glad she’s not pestering me anymore though, the last thing I needed was someone sending me up and down knowing very well that I might go into labour at any given moment.
I still haven’t forgotten Shlobo’s words, she’s not her for the good, and I hope for the better that when baba realizes it, it’s not too late.
Baba took the boys out to go buy fireworks, because that’s what they wanted, and they will get what they want, because their father can. He’s that kind of dad, it has been refreshing seeing this side of him, and I now know that he’s an amazing father.
I’m sitting outside on the bench overlooking the view, chewing on a bowl of ice. I’m feeling hot, and I always heard that pregnant woman eat ice. I’m not really enjoying it, I don’t see the hype, but it’s doing it’s job in cooling me down.
“You want to land in hospital with pneumonia?” I turned and stared at him.
“Nkosi, when did you get here?” he gives me a smile before he comes to sit next to me.
“I just got here now. They said you were in the garden.”
“And you assumed I was here?” he laughed.
“I knew you were.” he took the bowl of ice from me and emptied them on the grass.
“I was still eating those.” I sulked.
I’m not really mad. My moods have definitely improved, I’m working on them, and not trying to justify them with the hormonal imbalance in my body. Baba made sure of that, he really wasn’t entertaining me, especially because he has moods of his own.
“Uzogula. I heard that the king went to buy fireworks.” I nodded.
“His sons said they wanted fireworks, and they will get fireworks.” he laughed.
“They have him tied down don’t they.” he asked.
“They have him wrapped around their little fingers. And he’s enjoying every single minute of it.”
“And when are you due?” he turns and looks at me.
“Any time this week or the next.” he sighed.
“Are you ready.” I nodded.
“I am. At this point I just can’t wait to meet my baby.” I say rubbing my stomach.
That and I can’t wait to have my body back to myself. Carrying a human being inside of you and being responsible for their life is great and all, but I’ve had enough. I feel invaded.
“You aren’t scared?”
“Surprisingly, no I’m not scared. I fear the labour pains, they says those are brutal, but other than that, I’m doing very well.”
“You are one strong young lady, I admire you.” my heart melted.
“And how are you? You didn’t come home for Christmas.”
“I got a promotion at work, so I had to stay in Durban a little longer and get things in order before I could come back.”
“Oh my goodness Nkosi those are great news! Why didn’t you say something.” he shrugged.
“I didn’t think it was important.”
“Nonsense! Everything and everyone is important. This is big, in fact, we were supposed to thank the ancestors with some chickens or something.” he looked at me.
“There’s honestly no need…”
“No, there is a need. I will speak to baba and we will have one. Stop downplaying your importance in this family. Your achievements are our achievements too!” he gave me a smile before he looked away.
Silence prevailed. It’s time that he accept that he is a part of this family as much as everyone else is. He knows that I’m right, that is why he’s quiet.
“Where is Mathapelo?” I ask changing the subject.
“We broke up a long time ago.” he said chuckling.
“Hawu? I thought it was a serious thing. What happened?”
“She didn’t respect me, and the way she loved was not the way I want to be loved.”
“And couldn’t you work through that as a couple?”
“It wasn’t worth it.” I gulped and kept quiet.
Will he ever find love?
“I’m focusing on myself. If I never find love again, then it’s okay…”
“Mamizana, look at what baba bought us!” we were interrupted by Mgcini’s screams.
He’s running towards me with a small box of fireworks. He looks so excited.
“Don’t fall.” I say giggling at his cuteness.
He finally makes it infront of me and shows me.
“He said this is mine only, he also bought one for you, the baby and Halle and bhuti.” I laughed.
“Okay, but you didn’t greet bab’ Nkosi.” he waved at him after noticing.
“Hello bab’ Nkosi.” Nkosi gave him a wide smile.
“Where is my box?” he asked with a playful smile.
Mgcini looked conflicted, and he started stuttering.
“You can take mine baba.” he said giving him his box.
We both laughed, he’s such a sweet boy.
“I’m just kidding son, it’s all yours. I don’t play with crickets.” Nkosi said giving back his box.
“It’s called fireworks baba!” Nkosi picked him up and tickled him.
He laughed his little lungs out. This is all that I have ever wanted, the sound of his laughs warm my heart, and I can’t help but feel like I’m done, I’ve done what I was meant to do. Everyone is happy, Nkosi is, Banzi is also happy beyond the grave, and so are his sons, here on earth with us. I’ve done a good job, and I’m proud of myself.
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“Mamizana, can I talk to you.” I turn around and meet with Vukani staring at me.
“Yes, come sit with me.” I patted the space next to me.
I’m trying to compose myself, but he called me Mamizana like the boys do. I’m literally not breathing.
My baby started kicking as soon as he sat next to me.
“Your sister is kicking.” he didn’t think twice, his hand flew to my stomach.
“She does this every time you come close to me me.” I said.
He laughed, the fascination on his face was priceless.
When the baby was done kicking, I asked him what he wanted to talk about.
“When I dropped out of school, you and bab’ Langa said I must tell you when I’m ready to go back.” bab’ Langa?
It’s okay, I understand. I just didn’t think there was a need to specify.
“Yes, we did say that.”
“I’m ready. I applied to this agriculture school in Canada. They accepted me and I’m set to start in February.” I stared at him in disbelief.
He didn’t think to let any of us of these plans at all? Calm down Amile.
“I need you to help me tell bab’ Langa. I don’t know if he’s going to agree or not.” oh no.
“Can I give you my thoughts on this.” I gave him a small smile.
He nodded. Is he really that desperate? Is that why he’s being so nice to me?
“Maybe you should have mentioned it sooner. The beginning of January is in a few hours, that leaves you with just a month to prepare for everything. It’s not like you moving to Cape Town or Swaziland, moving to Canada is a big step. You need a visa, your passport may need to be renewed too, you need money, shit loads of it. You can’t go suffer in another country, on another continent…”
“So you think he’s going to say no.”
“I’m not saying he’s going to say no, I’m saying he might not take it very well.” he looked desperate.
“Please talk to him for me.” he gave me pleading eyes.
If I was a terrible person, I would refuse to help him to make him pay for all the times he treated me like shit, but I’m not. Deep down in my heart, I care deeply for Vukani, and whether he likes it or not, he’s like a son to me. Whether we are the same age or not is none of my business.
“I’m not going to promise anything Vukani, but I will talk to him for you.”
“Thank you mamizana.” he said and stood up.
I still can’t get over the fact that he’s being nice to me.
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He’s staring at me. I can feel his eyes on me. I can’t even take a nap in peace without him staring at me.
“Baba.” he shifts on the bed, and I feel his wet lips on my cheek.
“Wake up now, you’ve been sleeping for too long.” I shook my head and stretched my limbs.
“What time is it?” I remember I decided to go take a nap in the late afternoon.
Being pregnant is exhausting.
“It’s almost eight.” I’ve only been sleeping for two hours.
This man is dramatic, he was just supposed to say that he misses me.
“I don’t want to get into the new year without you.” I open my eyes and stare at him.
That was corny and he knows it. But he’s cute, and I love him. He places another wet kiss on my lips.
“Okay baba, can I go freshen up.” he helped me sit up.
“Wait, I have to tell you something.” he says holding my hands.
My heart raced.
“Don’t look so scared.”
“I can’t not look scared, you look so serious.” his face relaxed and he laughed.
“Dr Mhlongo called me today and he said I must come in on Tuesday for a check-up.”
“What day is Tuesday?” I asked him.
“The third.” I nodded.
The last time he was admitted, everything was clear, I think this is just his normal routine check. He hasn’t had any chest pains since then.
“I also need to talk to you about something.” he raised his eyebrow.
“Not now baba.” I tried to get up.
He held me down.
“No, tell me now.” this man!
“It’s about Vukani.”
“What did he do?” he asks putting on a straight face.
“He didn’t do anything. He told me today that he’s ready to go back to school.” he smiled.
“He told you and not me.” why does that seem to make him happy?
“Yes baba, because he wanted me to talk to you.”
“Why, so you can soften me up?” he knows these tactics all to well right?
“He wants to go to Canada.” I say.
“He can go. As long as he’s doing something with his life, and he’s happy.” he says and kisses my lips.
“He’s leaving in February baba.” he stops kissing my lips and looks at me.
“This February?” he looks shocked.
“Yes, he says he applied and they accepted him.” he looks conflicted.
“He can’t go, not now. It’s too last minute.” exactly my sentiments.
“Maybe if he had said this sooner, but a month is not enough for him to move to a whole different continent.” great minds think alike.
“I’m leaving it in your hands ke kaMhlaba, I did my job and passed on the message.” I said and got up.
“Mkami can I shower with you.” he says getting up.
“We don’t fit in the shower together.” he knows this, I’m the size of a whale.
“Ngeke ayikho leyonto.” he says cupping my bum.
He wants me to go into early labour.
I turned and looked at him in the eyes. His eyes, they look somehow.
“Langalethu Zulu?” he frowned before a smile slowly formed on his face.
Why didn’t I see it sooner, he’s tipsy.
“It’s New Year’s Eve.” he shrugged his shoulders.
“You should say my name more often, it just rolls off your tongue.” I blushed and covered my face.
He lifted my chin and kissed me.
“How about that shower ke mkami?”
Why not?