Amile The Queen

Chapter Thirty-Eight

***Mandlenkosi Zulu***

"She's leaving today. We've fucked twice now, and that makes it harder for me to just switch off my feelings for her like I'm supposed to."

Looking at the stain is still his favorurite sport when he comes into this office. He's getting more accustomed to talking freely with her, and he actually stays the whole hour now, unlike the first time.

"Why do you use the word fucked?" he chuckled.

"Because that's what we did. We fucked around. It wasn't supposed to happen, she's told me multiple times that it doesn't hurt anymore."

"Tell me more about your relationship with her."

"Is this one of your trick questions?" she laughed.

"No, I just want to know."

"I met her back in April. It was her birthday and her and her friends were at a club. I honestly thought she was older than her age because she was covered in make-up and all dolled up. I was attracted to her and I wanted to see her again, in daylight this time. She looked prettier without the make-up, she was perfect, the way she walked, the way she talked, even the way she laughed. Her laugh particularly reminded me of my moms laugh." She's quiet.

"When I found out about her age, and when she found out about my title, we were ready to stop whatever it was that was about to form between us, but our attraction was instant. By the end of the first day I spent with her, I was already in love with her. So we continued and three days later we were madly in love with each other. I told my mother about her in less than a week of my knowing her."

"So you do go home?" she asked.

"Only to visit her grave. Nothing else. I know out love was meant to be, I know she will come back to me because she had a dream about my mom. I've never had a dream about my mother, only after she came into my life."

"So you think she's the one for you?"

"Yes. That's why I'm going to fight for her."

"Look I don't know much about traditional things, but you and your brother share a mother, it could be that the dream was directed to your brother, and not you." He exhaled.

"Banzi doesn't even love her. Yes he sleeps with her, and buys her gifts and takes her out, but he doesn't love her. More than anything, he brought her to the palace to make her an incubator."

"Did you tell him about your relationship with her?"

"No."

"Why didn't you?"

"He wouldn't have believed me. I think I've given you enough stories to back that up." She nodded.

"Like any other time, I felt powerless against Zwelibanzi's word and I just saw myself as a weak man. It doesn't hurt when other people call me that because I labelled myself as one before people could."

"It is no use me saying you should've fought for her and failed knowing you tried, but your heart would be in a better place than it is now knowing you had did that. Knowing that you had tried. She would also have closure knowing you did you utmost best to fight for her, but it just didn't happen. The healing journey for both of you would be way easier." He holds his face and wipes his tears.

"You know she is the most perfect human being I have ever met. Everything she does, the way she loves me. She loves me like MaNdlela loved me, and that is a love that is rare to find."

"Don't you think that is the problem?" she asked.

"What?"

"You don't love her, you see your mother in her eyes and that is why it is so hard for you to detach from her. Maybe that is the reason why your brother also gravitated closer to her."