Lights Off

Chapter 33

Trigger warning.

Kara's POV

"Kara? Okay ka lang? Bakit namumutla ka?"

Sapo-sapo ang aking sentido, mahinang tumango ako kay Ate Cind na naabutan kong naghahanda ng umagahan namin.

"Uminom kana ba ng gamot?" She asked but I just shook my head and pulled a chair for me. Diretsong nilagok ko ang isang baso ng maligamgam na tubig na kan'yang iniabot sa akin at hinagod ang mamasa-masa ko pang buhok.

"Ang init mo," puna n'ya nang tanggalin n'ya ang pagkakadikit ng likod ng palad n'ya sa aking leeg. "Sandali, tatawagan ko 'yung provided doctor---"

"Ate 'wag na," agad na pigil ko. "Aalis din naman ako maya-maya 'di ba?" I heaved a soft smile, "I need to prepare the dinner I'm planning to celebrate her day."

Hearing her sighs, she patted my shoulder and sat next to me, "sigurado ka ba? Magpasundo ka nalang kaya kay Miss Hillaris? Kara alam mong bawal kang mapagod."

Desididong umiling ako at mas pinilit lawakan ang aking ngiti. Masyado pang maaga pero nakamakeup na agad ako para mapagtakpan ang eyebags dahil magdamag akong hindi nakatulog pagkahatid sa akin ni Valentine kagabi.

"Busy si Qionne, Ate..." Palusot ko kaysa sabihing alam kong hindi s'ya darating.

"Paano mo mas'surprise 'yon mamaya kung busy 'yong tao?" Anas n'ya pa.

I bit my lower lip hard and started making an alibi because I don't know how many times I used the term 'she's busy' everytime people asks me why they do not see us together anymore. Kahapon lang naman kasi ulit kami nagkasama matapos ang ilang araw na iwasan.

Gamit na gamit ko ang mga salitang 'yon kay Jackus at sa trabaho dahil nasanay ata ang iba doon na sinusundo n'ya ako paminsan-minsan.

"Tatawagan ko nalang s'ya mamaya kapag ayos na ang lahat," I cracked a smile to cheer not her but myself. "Don't worry, kaya ko 'to."

"Palagi mo namang sinasabing kaya mo lahat," She chuckled and put a plate of omelet in front of me. "Hindi masamang magpahinga kahit sandali, Kara. Marami ka pang pwedeng maging trabaho pero 'yang buhay mo isa lang."

"I know, Ate, I know," I throw my hands at my thighs while watching her doing all the works because she doesn't want me to get up and lend some help. "Pero ayoko namang magsayang ng oras kakapahinga kung alam kong kakayanin ko pa."

"Pero tandaan mo na may sakit ka."

Her statements caught me off guard. Seryosong binalingan ko siya ng tingin pero umupo lamang siya sa harap ko matapos ayusin ang kakainin namin.

"You can't exhaust yourself if you don't want your body to give up on you." Her lips moves a bit until she carve a comforting smile. "You're not perfect, Kara, 'wag mong ipipilit kung alam mong hindi mo pa talaga kaya."

"But I can't give up," I almost whispered as a hush when a figure of Val and I plastered on my mind at the most sudden scenario. "I can't give her up."

Kung iniwan s'ya ng lahat noon, gagawin ko ang lahat para hindi na maulit 'yon.

I won't ask them to stay, but I, myself, will for her.

For us.

I'm still afraid and scared that there's a high possibility that she will leave and break me at the most chaotic way but who cares? I won't use the line, naumpisahan ko na kaya itutuloy ko pa, because I've never choose to be with her only to lose her midway.

Because after all, I'm holding on to the statements she have said that we'll meet halfway.

That we'll be with each other through everything because if it's not her then I don't know. She's giving me her best, I know she's trying her best, but little did she know that she's slowly showing her worst.