Heart of Fire

Chapter Thirteen

A servant coming into my room causes me to jolt out of my sleep. The girl senses my panic, apologizing for startling me. She hastily goes to my bathroom, running a bath for me. Remembering Kenton telling me that he was going to send someone for this purpose, I will my body to leave the comfort of my bed, my bones aching in the process. Walking to where the girl prepares my bath with lush oils and soaps, she turns around to help me undress.

I feel incredibly dirty, seeing as though I did not have one proper bath during my imprisonment in Caraq. When I turn to look at myself in the mirror, I find that I look just as filthy as I feel, along with the mass amount of bruises that cover the entirety of my body. I hold back a shudder from the memories that fill my head at the sight, letting the girl help me into the bath.

I soak off all the grim as the girl gently washes my hair. Her fingers do wonders to my coarse scalp, kneading the soap onto my head. The warm water causes my cuts to sting, as I had to unravel the bandages before I got in. They will have to be rebandaged after, but I can manage that much on my own.

After I'm clean, the servant helps me into fresh clothing, loose and comfortable so it doesn't irritate any of my injuries. She sits me down at the small vanity in my room, taking a brush through my hair, detangling the long locks that were abandoned of any grooming. When she is done I thank her, letting her go on her way.

Being left alone once again, I find that I'm still incredibly tired. I am not mad about this though, for sleeping gives me a way to escape. If I am sleeping, I can't think of all the terrible thoughts my mind will go through. Avoidance may not be the healthiest way of coping, but it will do for now. With that, I climb back into the comfort of my bed, drifting off quickly.

***

I'm back in Caraq, fighting against the guards who have a hold on my arms, leading me to their King. Zehra laughs behind me, mocking my weakness against them. I don't know why or how I'm here. I escaped. Kenton saved me from this.

They throw me into the arena once again, the King announcing me as the crowd cheers and screams. Then, dangling in front of me is the corpse of the man they forced me to murder. His limp figure taunts me, reminding me what I did to him. I cry out, willing the King to let me go, to put me in my cell, to be anywhere but here. He merely laughs at me, pointing his finger in a teasing manner. I sink to the ground, screaming and sobbing, begging for help.

"Adira! Adira wake up! Come on sweetheart, you have to wake up!" Kenton shakes my shoulders, jolting me out of my sleep.

I look around manically to find that I am in fact, not in Caraq. My breathing is heavy, as is Kenton's as he searches my face worriedly. Suddenly, I feel sick.

Sprinting to the toilet, I empty out the contents in my stomach, weeping as I do and struggling to breath. Kenton is there a second later on his knees next to me, holding back my hair from the rejection. He rubs my back in comfort, not caring about the hideous sight before him. I continue to hover over the toilet even after I'm done heaving, all I can do is sit there as sobs rack my body.

"I killed him." I hiccup, breathing heavily. I look over my shoulder through blurry eyes at Kenton, his expression solemn. He doesn't break away from me when I admit this, he doesn't even flinch. This is the first time I admitted this out loud, murdering that innocent man.

"I killed him." I say again, this time it comes out barely as a whisper.

Kenton shakes his head slightly, taking me in his arms. He holds me through the sobs, letting me cry it all out. He doesn't push me to explain or talk about it, like he somehow knows that I need someone with me right now. I grip onto him, as I shake profusely, and he lets me, holding me tight.