Heart of Fire

Chapter Forty

By the time we reach the castle grounds and we're out of the forest, the sun is setting. There's a warm cast of orange light over the castle, making it look ethereal. For the first time ever, looking at the castle doesn't make me shutter. I'm positive Bastian being gone has everything to do with that.

Hudson walks with me the entire time to Kenton's room, grounding me and making me feel safe. When we stop in front of the eldest prince's door, I bring my fist up to knock, hesitating to actually make contact.

"It's alright." Hudson encourages beside me.

I press my lips together, nodding. I don't know why I'm nervous, or even scared in a way. I just don't want Kenton to open that door and have everything change between us. I don't want him to look at me any different.

I shake the thoughts from my head, knocking on the door before I can talk myself out of it. A few seconds later, the door swings open to reveal a very distraught version of Kenton.

We don't say anything, simply staring at each other through the door frame. I've never seen him look this bad before, if that's even possible for him. There's dark bags under his dulled eyes, his hair is disheveled and messy, his bottom lip chewed to pieces. Hudson was right, he is a mess.

I don't have the chance to say anything as the trio comes up behind him, pushing through his frozen figure to reach me. They attack me in a group hug, knocking the wind out of my lungs. I don't question why they were with Kenton, or why their so happy to see me. I'm just glad they're here at all, not angry with me.

"We were worried sick, Adi!" Amelia exclaims as the group lets go of me.

"Yeah, we didn't know if you were going to come back at all." Brooks says, running his eyes over me again and again, like he's still trying to comprehend if I'm actually here.

"I'm sorry." I say, earning sad looks from all of them.

When I look over at Fyn, he doesn't say anything. He only looks at me with a closed lip smile and sad eyes. My heart clenches at the sight.

"It's alright, I'm fine." I reassure him, bringing him in for a hug without the rest of the group. He hugs me back tightly, burying his head in the crook of my neck. When I pull back, his eyes are brimmed with tears, his cheeks tinted pink against his pale skin.

"Come on guys," Hudson interrupts, "Let's give them some privacy." He says, referring to Kenton and I. They walk off together down the hall, probably heading to Hudson's room.

When I look back at Kenton, he's still standing in the door frame, the same look on his face when he first opened it. I turn to face him completely, my arms limp at my sides. I don't know how to do this, what to say to him. I don't think he does either.

I take a step toward him, bringing my hands to cup his face, my touch soft and steady. He's still my Kenton, that hasn't changed. It never will.

"I'm not upset with you." Is all I say, looking him in the eyes.

He blinks a few times, registering what I'm saying. "You're not?" He cracks, his voice quiet and broken.

I shake my head, "No."

"Adira," He pleads, "I swear I- I didn't mean to ruin your life." He tries to look down, away from my face, but I keep my hands planted on his cheeks, forcing him to keep looking at me.

"You didn't ruin my life, Kenton. You didn't ruin anything." I assure him, my voice steady and sure.

He doesn't say anything, so I walk past him into his room, taking his hand to lead him with me. He doesn't resist, willing to do whatever I want right now. I sit down on his bed, where he sits infront of me, careful not to get to close. I ignore his cautions, bringing myself closer to him.