A Faithful Memory

The Power of Faith

It was the middle of summer when Philza finally decided to teach Kai how to fly. The avian child woke up one morning with a nervous weight in his heart that nothing seemed to ease, not Ranboo's gentle pats on the shoulder, not Wilbur's eager encouragement, not even the silent but reassuring way Technoblade made sure his little brother had whatever he needed before he and Phil set out for the mountains a short journey away. Techno, Wil and Ranboo would be staying home because Wilbur was too young, in Phil's opinion, to be hiking just yet and he would need the other two to look after him. Kai felt miserably alone.

Though he had been living with Philza and the others for a number of years now, every once in a while he would get that closed-off feeling, as if he was actually cut off from all of them. He knew they did their best to understand him, but sometimes little things they did made him unsure of his place among them. It was something he didn't like feeling at all, but he'd never found out how to make the feelings go away. So he just bore them as best as he could. Phil's choice to take him flying provoked one of those feelings and right now it was lodged so deep in his heart, he wasn't sure when it would leave him alone. Kai trudged up the mountainside, his grey wings folded close upon his back, head bent to the ground, lost in his own thoughts.

The grass beneath his feet was soft, for rain had recently fallen and the sun had not yet dried out the moisture. The trees that speckled the mountain were huge and tough-looking oaks and mushrooms sprouted at their roots. Daisies, tulips, cornflowers and alliums dotted the landscape and far below them on the right, where the ground fell away in steep cliffs, Kai could just make out the bright colors of other flowers. He took a deep breath. Mountains always reminded him of his mother, and that was calming. Better than focusing on his insecurities. Briefly he wondered how long it had been since he'd last seen her and how she was doing now. Then he looked up and got lost in watching the birds flutter past and about them. Bright, flashing plumage and eyes that seemed like sparks as they caught the sunlight. Kai was never really sure what to feel about birds. They never seemed to care about anything that happened around them, but at the same time they were beautiful creatures, singing and dancing through the sky so effortlessly. If only he could fly like that.

And that brought his mind back to the purpose of his excursion with Phil. Kai gulped, glancing up at the tall angel walking slowly beside him. This whole time, Phil had been quietly talking aloud, thought not about anything in particular. Birds, the wind, various flowers, the occasional Enderman that crossed their path, these had made up Phil's conversation so far. Or monologue, since Kai had said nothing so far himself. At least Philza filled the silence.

At last the pair stopped on a small jutting outcrop of rock. Far, far, far below, plains stretched out towards the east and south. From the north came a faint shimmer of blue. Kai looked down at that grass hundred of feet below him and felt a little sick. Philza knelt beside him. "Now, mate, I know I said this back at the house but I'll say it again just in case. You can turn back if you want to. We don't have to do this today."

But Kai was still worried about pleasing his adopted father. If he didn't accept the flying lesson, surely Phil would be disappointed in him. And he did not want that. "It's okay." He murmured, watching the hem of Phil's robe flap in the breeze. "I'll do it."

With a brief nod, Philza straightened. "Alright then. I'll go first and you watch me, okay? Then I'll come back for you and we'll go together. Sound good?"

Kai nodded too. He kept his eyes on Philza's wings as the angel spread them out. Then suddenly Philza darted forwards, his light boots making little dents in the grass, and sprang from the edge of the cliff. Kai felt his heart jump straight into his mouth as he saw his father disappear from sight. But only a second or two later, Philza reappeared, gliding on some kind of wind current. He swooped upwards, feathers rustling in the rush of his flight, and curved towards the sun. Kai saw the shining rays glow in Phil's hair. Flying looked so easy. And yet...there was nothing but air keeping Phil aloft. Kai's heart left his mouth and sank down into his stomach, where it felt like it was trembling.