We Don't Need Memories | SakuAtsu

Chapter Eight

"What should we watch?" Kiyoomi asked, sliding onto the couch. The sun had set outside, letting the moon shine through into the small house. Kiyoomi watched as Atsumu made his way over to the couch, tripping over the leg of a chair in the process. He managed to catch himself and not completely fall, but Kiyoomi still found it funny.

Atsumu scoffed. "Shut up, Omi," He used a fake pouting face, forcing Kiyoomi to giggle more. Atsumu smirked and plopped himself down next to Kiyoomi, cuddling close to him. Kiyoomi put an arm around Atsumu's shoulders, as Atsumu swung both of his legs over Kiyoomi's lap. Pulling a blanket over their legs, Kiyoomi looked at the blond in his arms.

"You never answered my question."

"Oh. I don't know. Let's see what's new," Atsumu grabbed the remote from its place on the couch next to him and handed it to Kiyoomi. They scrolled through movies for a while, eventually picking one of the newer movies released in the country.

They were about halfway through the movie when Kiyoomi heard Atsumu begin to yawn.

"You tired?"

"Yeah," Atsumu yawned again. It was only around 9:30, much earlier than Kiyoomi knew Atsumu normally went to bed.

Was he feeling okay?

Kiyoomi was sure he was, he always told him if he was feeling sick. Pushing the thought out of his head, Kiyoomi rubbed Atsumu's shoulder. "Do you want me to turn it off?"

Atsumu shook his head. "No, it's fine."

"Alright," Kiyoomi sighed, turning the volume down a few notches. "Just tell me if it's too loud." Atsumu nodded, leaning into Kiyoomi's touch again.

Atsumu fell asleep in Kiyoomi's arms quickly, his breaths slowing as he came to a still state. Kiyoomi kissed the top of his head gently.

Turning down the volume, Kiyoomi continued to watch the movie in a desperate attempt to forget about the nagging feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

~~~

"Kiyoomi Sakusa, correct?"

Kiyoomi nodded, facing the doctor sitting at the desk in front of him.

"Alright," The doctor took a stack of papers and fit them into a neat pile on his desk. "To start, I am terribly sorry about this unfortunate outcome. I can only imagine the stress you must feel right now."

A numb feeling filled Kiyoomi's chest. No one should have to feel the stress he's felt the past few days. Including him.

"There are a few ways we can start treatments, and I am going to leave the decision up to you and Miya-San. But I will always run the options by the patient's partner first." The doctor picked up a paper from the top of the stack. "We would like to start treatments as soon as possible to hope for a guaranteed remission of the cancer. The first option is remission induction therapy. We normally start this process within the first three to four weeks of the diagnosis."

Kiyoomi nodded, copying notes from what the doctor said and what the papers handed to him read. His fingers typed quickly on his phone, trying to absorb every bit of information.

"The second option may be more familiar to the ear, and that would be chemotherapy. A schedule can be decided for that once a treatment option is picked." The doctor handed another packet of papers to Kiyoomi, never once stopping his mouth from speaking.

"A third option would be radiation therapy to pinpoint and destroy the cells." Kiyoomi continued to quickly jot down notes as the doctor listed off a few more options and which ones he thought were the best choices. The time seemed to zip by as the doctor talked, but Kiyoomi was exhausted by the end of it, his thumbs numb from their constant typing.

And before he knew it, he was shaking the doctor's hand, a stack of papers in his free arm.

"I hope this wasn't too confusing with how overwhelmed you must be. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me. Feel free to email me with the choice of treatment, and we hope for the best." The doctor gave a small smile as he shook Kiyoomi's hand, but Kiyoomi couldn't bring himself to smile back. He was glad his mask covered his mouth because his attempt at a nicer face was most definitely failed.

"Thank you," Kiyoomi tried to speak clearly as he let go of the doctor's hand. The doctor bowed his head in Kiyoomi's direction as he turned towards the door.

~~~

"How are you feeling today?" Kiyoomi's voice was soft as he sat on the edge of Atsumu's bed. Atsumu shrugged as he fidgeted with the blanket that Kiyoomi brought from home. Kiyoomi's attempted smile dropped once again. "Do you want to read through some of the treatment options?"

Kiyoomi felt stupid asking that question. He hated having to ask Atsumu to do anything but rest in his state. Atsumu looked up from the patterned blanket to meet Kiyoomi's eyes. Dark circles were still prominent under Atsumu's eyes, but Kiyoomi didn't want to think about it.

"Sure," Atsumu's voice was quiet as Kiyoomi bent down to pick up his paper-filled backpack. He pulled a chair over and set the bag down, fishing through its depths to find a few of the papers. Pulling them out, he handed them to Atsumu who took them slowly. Kiyoomi waited as Atsumu read through them, keeping a hand on Atsumu's thigh. A constant form of touch in the fast-moving hospital. And something to reassure Kiyoomi that Atsumu was present with him.

Atsumu quietly flipped through the pages of text without saying a word, the only sound audible in the room was the beeping heart monitor next to them. Kiyoomi watched, wanting desperately to know the thoughts running through his head. He felt helpless not knowing what Atsumu was thinking.

Another ten minutes passed before Atsumu looked up from the papers in hand. He slowly moved his finger, pointing to the option that was number one as the suggested treatment route.

Kiyoomi made eye contact with Atsumu, a completely stoic expression on his face.

"Are you sure?" Kiyoomi asked, completely trusting of any of Atsumu's choices.

Atsumu nodded. "Completely."

Kiyoomi nodded. "I trust your judgment," Kiyoomi gave Atsumu a small smile. "I'll tell the doctor. We're one step closer to you getting better."

The faint sight of a smile could be seen on Atsumu's face as Kiyoomi leaned in and kissed the top of his head.

One step at a time.