We Don't Need Memories | SakuAtsu

Chapter Thirteen

Mounds of boxes lined the entirety of the living room. It would take a while to unpack, but Kiyoomi wasn't worried. If Atsumu was with him, there was nothing to worry about.

"Is that the last of them?" Kiyoomi could hear Atsumu's voice call out as he picked up the last box in the van.

"Yep!" Kiyoomi hollered back, shutting the heavy doors of the van. He brought the box inside and set it down next to the others with a sigh. "Where should we start?" He asked, wiping off the beads of sweat that had formed on his brow.

Atsumu shrugged. "Kitchen?"

Kiyoomi nodded and began searching through the maze of boxes for the ones labeled "kitchen".

Atsumu helped by grabbing a box along with Kiyoomi and brought it into the kitchen. They set the boxes on the marble countertops and began unpacking.

Picking up a few plates from the first box, Kiyoomi opened the cabinets above his head and began piling them in.

"Wait! Omi, turn around and smile!" Kiyoomi quirked an eyebrow at Atsumu's request.

"Why?" Kiyoomi responded, turning around without smiling. He met Atsumu's already smiling face.

"Cause' I need a picture," Atsumu pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it up. "It's our first house together, how could I not take a picture?"

"Whatever happened to 'we don't need memories'?" Kiyoomi put air quotes around the phrase but reluctantly smiled as Atsumu snapped the photo.

"Eh, screw that," Atsumu laughed. "I want any memory as long as it's one with you." Kiyoomi couldn't help the way the corners of his lips turned up as Atsumu placed a kiss against his lips.

~~~

Two months had passed since the news of Atsumu's progressing cancer, and it was clear to Kiyoomi that he wasn't getting any better.

But just as the doctors had promised, they had been doing everything they could to give Atsumu the proper medicine to keep his cancer from becoming too painful as he fought on. Unfortunately, the medicine sanctioned for the comfort of his journey had devastating side effects, leaving Atsumu nauseous and tired most of the time.

Most of his time was spent on the couch or in bed, as he was growing too weak to move around for long periods. He had significantly lost weight since the initial diagnosis, his normal flair having completely left his body. He no longer carried conversations as brightly as before, but Kiyoomi did his best to move around them.

When Kiyoomi returned home from running errands on a Friday late in January, he no longer called out into the house to announce that he had returned home. The house felt empty most days, even though there was always at least one person there. The lights were off as Kiyoomi walked in a set down the bags of groceries.

He quickly unpacked the food and went to look for Atsumu.

The blond was found on the couch, propping himself up against the seat with a book in hand. This evening, in particular, he looked healthier to Kiyoomi. It was probably just the lighting of the room, but Kiyoomi willed himself to believe otherwise. Even if it was just for one night.

Kiyoomi sat down next to Atsumu, who looked up at Kiyoomi once he had sat down. The familiar glint was faintly seen in his eyes as butterflies filled Kiyoomi's stomach.

"Hi, Omi," He whispered with a small smile. Kiyoomi did his best to smile back.

"Hey," Kiyoomi's voice was slightly louder than Atsumu's. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better," Atsumu took a deep breath after the single word as if just the one was draining enough. "I got a lot of sleep."

Kiyoomi placed a hand on Atsumu's knee. "That's good."

Atsumu turned back to the book in his hand and finished the page before closing it and setting it aside.

"Can we go to our spot tonight, Omi?" Atsumu turned back to meet Kiyoomi's eyes once he set his book down. "I wanna go one more time before-"

His voice trailed off but Kiyoomi didn't need him to finish the sentence to know what he was referencing. His chest felt tight as he looked into Atsumu's pleading eyes.

Of course, he wanted to go to their spot. He always did.

But what he didn't want was it to be their last time going together.

"Are you feeling up to it?" Kiyoomi asked. Atsumu slowly bowed his head in a nod. "Alright. We'll leave in a minute."

After they had bundled up for the weather, Kiyoomi helped to guide Atsumu out to the car before quickly putting the heat on.

It was still early enough that the sun hadn't set, but it was too cold for them to set up the trunk and blankets like they had the first time they came. But neither minded. Just being in the company of the other was enough.

By this time, Kiyoomi had memorized the directions to the small off-road location. Each turn and traffic light all meticulously placed throughout the route.

Atsumu stayed quiet throughout the hour-long ride. He looked at peace with the world as he looked out the window at the falling snow. It put Kiyoomi's mind at ease as they continued to drive through the snow.

When they arrived at their destination, Kiyoomi pulled into the open field, angling the car towards the illuminated city. The sun was slowly beginning its descent as the two watched, remaining silent.

Kiyoomi's heart never failed to skip a beat when he felt Atsumu's hand on top of his. Atsumu tangled their fingers together, breathing shakily as he did so.

"Omi?"

"Yeah?" Kiyoomi looked over at Atsumu, the glint of a tear in the blond's eyes.

"I don't want you to see me get any worse," His words were mumbled, but Kiyoomi understood them clearly.

"Atsu', I-"

"Please, listen. I can't let you see me like this. I want your memories of me to be nice ones," Kiyoomi could hear the tears thick in his voice. Kiyoomi's jaw dropped slightly as he felt tears begin to well in his eyes.

"No."

"Wha-"

"Atsumu, I don't care how you may look tomorrow or in the next month," Kiyoomi did his best to keep his voice from sounding choked up. "I refuse to leave your side. I made a promise, and I wouldn't break it for anything."

Atsumu had finally turned his head to meet Kiyoomi's. His mouth hung open slightly, tears slowly giving way and falling from his tired eyes. Kiyoomi reached a hand towards Atsumu and used a thumb to tenderly wipe the tear off of Atsumu's face.

"I will stay with you as long as I can, Atsumu," Kiyoomi hated every part of that sentence. The way it had rolled off his tongue, how in a different perspective it might sound like, "I know you're dying, but let me make it better."

Kiyoomi prayed for a different way to phrase the words. To make it seem like Atsumu wasn't going to leave him. To make it seem like everything was going to be okay.

Kiyoomi leaned forward and moved Atsumu's beanie up on his forehead to allow space for him to kiss. Pressing their foreheads together, Kiyoomi bit the inside of his mouth to keep himself from crying. Even when the taste of blood was prominent, Kiyoomi didn't stop.

Stay strong.

You have to stay strong.

For him.

Kiyoomi pulled away after a few more moments, cupping Atsumu's blotchy face with his hands. He crushed their lips together with one thought circulating throughout his mind.

This may be the last time.

He'd make it count.