"My MaRiLyn..."

74.

It's morning and I feel so depressed. I'm having breakfast with Ciara who looks like she's enjoying her meal whilst I'm not. I've got my head in the clouds thinking about how life will be if I eventually get caught.

It won't happen,I'm just trying to imagine. I don't want to leave Ciara behind with a broken heart and I surely don't want to let go of Marilyn.

We just started rebuilding our establishment. I won't allow myself to waste everything I've worked for. Not now, not ever.

Already I have killed women I claimed to love before moving to this neighbourhood I've grown to like. I killed people they also loved all in the name of those women being my creation.

I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't want to be a murderer. I just want to be Timothy Zolanski but again Timothy Zolanski is nothing but a murderer.

He hurts people. He isn't kind. He is a hypocrite and a liar. He's a liar. He hurts people he claims to love and he can never be a better man no matter how hard he tries.

A Sketch always leads to a murder and I can not run away from it. I'm not crazy,I know I'm perfectly normal. I'm not crazy,am I? I'm perfectly fine!

"Are you okay?" Ciara suddenly notices my gloomy mood and minds to ask.

I look at her and I see concern written all over her face.

"Do you love me?" I ask.

If Marilyn and I don't work out,Ciara can take her place but I'm praying she doesn't.

I know Mari and I will work out. I just want to know if Ciara truly means what she says to me. What she says about love.

"Of course,I love you," she replies with a chuckle.

"Do you really love me?" I ask again now getting emotional about it.

"Yes. I really, really love you,Timothy with all my fucking heart," She replies and I lightly smile at her and her at me.

"Whats the matter?" She asks.

"I just want to know," I reply and she nods.

She loves me and I... I don't know yet.