"My MaRiLyn..."

87.

Amazing how things go my way. Of course it's all Gods doing but boy am I lucky. It's been two days after the house burnt down and the missing of Marilyn from the neighbourhood.

People speculate Richard has something to do with Marilyn's disappearance because well,it's always the husbands doing the darkest things. It's always the husbands thinking of the darkest things.

I'm In bed with Ciara staring at the ceiling. We both can't sleep. I'm awake because I'm trying to make sense out of my existence in this life and all the Lord has done for me to reach this far despite all my mistakes.

Again,not a religious and spiritual person. I'm just acknowledging this superior powerful being people look up to.

I'm thinking about who and what I could have become if I weren't this type of person. One things for sure,I'd make my mother proud. For now I'm just a disappointment.

"Why are you awake?. What are you thinking about?" Ciara asks me with her eyes still at the ceiling,staring.

"I'm thinking about how much of a disappointment I am to my mother," I honestly say to her.

"You?" I ask her.

She deeply sighs.

"I just wanna know why you killed her," she says.

"She didn't love me. I loved her," I reply and she sleeps on her side stomach and looks at me.

"She was married. She had kids and her burden was heavy when she lost Madison. How do you feel killing for the first time?" She asks.

Oh,Ciara this is not my first kill. I've killed so my people in my life time,Marilyn is not the first.

"Jennifer Connelly, Sabrina Payne, Kamala Fishel, Victoria Beckham, Florida Marlins, Mubanga Sanders and so many women I sketched into existence died. I killed them and killed everybody they associated themselves with. It made me feel like they took them away from me. I had this possessiveness over them that I would do anything for them," I tell Ciara.

She's paying attention to what I'm saying.

"Marilyn is not the first person to kill in this neighbourhood. I also killed Zoe and Madison," I say to Ciara honestly.

She is silent. I look at her and she has no facial expression of judgment neither of surprise.

I sit up straight.

"I'm the reason why Reese is in a comma," I speak up telling the truth again and Ciara sits up straight and holds my hands.

"You sketch people who exist in your mind and when you find out they exist you feel like you have found the one until they disappoint you. You haven't sketched me,ever thought about why I still love you?" She asks and that is a very smart question.

I sketched those whom I become obsessed with. I don't love them. I never have. Ciara amongst all the women I've claimed to care for is the realest person who has always been willing to give me a chance over and over again. She loves me. Genuinely.

"I haven't sketched you," I reply and she chuckles.

"I love you because I still know something good is going to come out of your life despite all your mistakes. Despite of all these mistakes. I'm willing to take my chances with you and hold your hand through this journey we all call life," she tells me and I feel emotional.

"You love me despite everything?" I ask.

"Yes. It was never your fault to kill these women. You just needed someone to help you and care for you because your mother walked away from you. She was supposed to take care of you and not leave you. She was supposed to help you seek help and not judge you for your actions. And so,I'm going to fill in the gap and help you feel alright," she tells me and I nod in approval.

She smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

"You don't think I'm crazy,do you?"

"Crazy or not,that doesn't change who you are Timothy."

"Who am I?" I ask with tears rolling on my face.

"The man I love," her words pierce through my soul and I have the greatest epiphany right now.

Ciara is that missing piece of my jigsaw puzzle. Ciara had been standing right in front of me but I couldn't pay attention because of Marilyn. Glad she died.