I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm depressed once more. Lost.
I've been calling Ciara but she hasn't been picking up. I followed her to her working place but she pushed me away. I don't know what to do,I wish that I never met her but I just want to know how she is.
I want to prove to her that I want to be there and care for her. I don't want to be this man I have grown up to be. I don't want to wake up feeling guilty all the time over what I know I did right.
Killing Zoe was right,Killing Madison was right and attempting to kill Reese was right. They could have exposed me. Gosh,I just want to be Happy for once,just this once and get what I want.
Marilyn won't talk to me. It's been a fucking week and she's just been mourning the death of her child and breaking over Reese.
I haven't left the house for a week and I've been starving myself since then. I've got too much to think about.
I'm a monster,a menace to society and I don't know how to be a better man. Change is the only thing to do actually but how can I change? I have killed people I claimed to love and I keep hurting people I've grown to love. What to do? What to fucking do?
I just lay on the tiled floor in the bathroom sobbing and calling out to the only woman I still believe loves me despite all my mistakes,
"Mommy... Mommy say something. Fix me."
How? How will she? Mommy,Just make it all better. Make it all better, darling mother. Fix me and help me open my eyes and answer these hard and troubling questions life is throwing at me. I'm bleeding by what life is throwing at me,I'm sinking in an ocean of my tears and that of people I hurt and broke apart.
I want out.
YOU ARE READING
"My MaRiLyn..."
General FictionTimothy Zolanski, a mentally distorted young man moves into a new neighbourhood hoping to start a new life. He then becomes obsessed with a beautiful lady in the neighborhood called "Marilyn". Whom he believes he "thought" into existence through his...
