Stuck on an Island with One Direction

Chapter 16

Niall dropped all of the bananas that he had been picking and turned his head to look at the tree that I was sitting in. It didn't take long for him to find my body perched up in the tree, and our eyes to connect. 

His eyes bulged out and his jaw practically dropped to the ground. 

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Shit.

It was the first word that came to my head when I saw him looking at me. 

I swear this is honestly like the first time that my stomach has ever made a sound and it has to be right now!?

"Wha...how...you...?" He couldn't even put a whole sentence together. He just stood there gaping.

"Niall, let me explain." I said very cautiously. I did not want him to go and yell for the boys because that would screw up my entire plan! Well it was kind of all ready messed up due to the fact that Niall found my hiding place... But with all the other boys it would be worse.

I think that Niall was finally putting what happened together. He looked up at me and smirked. Then he leaned himself gains the banana tree he was standing next to, acting all smug. 

Whats his deal?

"You are one tough girl. I leave my friends for five minutes and they let you get away. Four guys against one girl and they still manage to get there asses handed to them." I could tell he would not let them live this down. 

I blushed at the complement that he gave me. Niall knew how to make any situation seem lighter. 

"But Rose I still want to know whats wrong. I cant help you until you tell me." I gave him a blank stare and washed my face clean of emotion, even though when he made me think of Jane I wanted to cry. I take back the 'light' statement. 

"So, if you don't tell me then I'm going to call the boys." He-he wouldn't... would he? 

Well it didn't really matter because that was the moment that I decided to completely break down. 

I didn't want to tell anyone, couldn't they see that! But some part of me knew that I should tell them. I thought that I could handle the guilt that I was facing by myself but now, it- its just too much. 

I slouched forward in the tree and I let my hair cover me like a cloak as I sobbed. I didn't want anyone to see me any way. The tears that fell freely from my eyes splattered on to my used-to-be white shirt only making it dirtier, if possible. I leaned my body against the trunk of the tree and brang my legs close to my chest as I wrapped my arms around them. I lied my head on my knees attempting to wipe away some tears. 

I thought about the situation I was in. I was lost on an island that may or may not be inhabited by humans while my family could be lost at sea or even dead. I may have lost the most important person in my life and it was completely my fault.

I don't deserve to be here. Jane deserves to be here. People will actually care if shes gone while the only people that would care for me was her and Raven. They were all I had and one of them is now gone. Why did I have to be the one the one that woke up on this island? Why couldn't it have been her? Why did I have to loose her on that damn boat!? 

I think that I have heard of I've been going through before. It was called survivers guilt. You may have been in a tragic accident, and one of the people that were also there may have been hurt or died, and you wish that you could have taken the fall for them, and you are completely confident that it was your fault they got hurt.